Best Coaches in the area? Northern VA, DC, Maryland for girls?

post reply Forum Index » Soccer
[Post New]01/24/2023 11:05
quote
soccerx3kidsss
Member Offline
SDC wrote:
lojack74 wrote:
SDC wrote:
soccer_dc wrote:
SDC wrote:
soccer_dc wrote:
SDC wrote:
soccer_dc wrote:
SDC wrote:
NotMessi wrote:Did Rae Ann Taylor leave Loudoun? Don't see her on the website anymore.


She was fired.


What happened? Bad behavior? Going to another club and bringing players with her? Hard to imagine what else could be done to get fired mid season


Officially, it was "bad behavior". Unofficially, that meant whiny parents with kids on the bench who were unhappy.


She was fired because parents were whining about kids playing time? huh?


Unhappy parents caused this, yes.


How? Did the unhappy parents make up false accusations of the bad behavior or did it really occur?


You have to know Rae Ann Taylor to fully understand, but some people call it tough love/tough coaching. Some call it abuse. But all boiled down to their snowflake not being treated like a princess. It's not black and white, but when parents threaten legal action, the club reacted.


And this is how we end up with pro players thinking the abuse that's been happening to them since youth soccer, and still happening in the pros, is OK. I don't know about the coach you're talking about, but I have seen coaches absolutely berating players. That's not coaching. That's not tough love. And calling it abuse is not being a snowflake. It's is very black-and-white. Not a lot of grey area when it comes to abuse. My $0.02.



I agree with you 100% that abuse doesn't belong in youth sports. With this particular coach, however, it wasn't the case. Some parents didn't like how their kids weren't catered to and playing equal time because they paid just as much as everyone else. It's this entitled attitude that's growing here that pushes out tough coaches who demand a lot from the players but aren't abuse. There's a HUGE difference between good tough coaching and abuse.
[Post New]01/24/2023 11:07
quote
soccerx3kidsss
Member Offline
Favoritism is a form of abuse. Do coaches have favorites? Absolutely. It's natural. Should they make it obvious and make everyone else feel less than, absolutely not. Coaches aren't trained psychologists. They are regular people with little to no education on developmental needs of young people. They just claim they are soccer professionals which we know is also a low bar to be met in this country. It's not about tough love it's about how to treat people and ensure growth is happening and you can't paint every single person with the same brush. Coaches needs to be intentional with their words and actions and at the very least communicate effectively. We need to start holding youth coaches accountable in this country and if you can't see that then you are part of the problem.
[Post New]01/24/2023 13:19
quote
SDC
Member Offline
soccerx3kidsss wrote:Favoritism is a form of abuse. Do coaches have favorites? Absolutely. It's natural. Should they make it obvious and make everyone else feel less than, absolutely not. Coaches aren't trained psychologists. They are regular people with little to no education on developmental needs of young people. They just claim they are soccer professionals which we know is also a low bar to be met in this country. It's not about tough love it's about how to treat people and ensure growth is happening and you can't paint every single person with the same brush. Coaches needs to be intentional with their words and actions and at the very least communicate effectively. We need to start holding youth coaches accountable in this country and if you can't see that then you are part of the problem.


Same can be said for parents and the whole pay to play model. Just because you want your kid on a top team doesn't mean she deserves to be there.
[Post New]01/24/2023 14:00
quote
soccerx3kidsss
Member Offline
Pay to play is one thing but you can only pay to play so much. It's the politics and pull that come internally for the select few from the club (and I agree with you it's usually given to the kids who don't fully deserve it) - if you are lucky enough to influence a DOC because you are a coach at the club or you are a parent with a LOT of money, status and connections that can help the club then you will be able to find a work around. It's most important for these kids to focus on their own journey, but it's hard when they don't get the support they need from their coach. Unfortunately the regular parent who is trying their best to give their kid the best environment to learn and develop will get looked over time and time again. After seeing what every is saying there just doesn't seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel. Until standards are set higher and coaches are truly held accountability the cycle continues. Parents are scared, they don't know how to navigate finding a coach let alone a club that will truly value them as a member.
[Post New]01/24/2023 19:01
quote
soccer4life
Member Offline
soccerx3kidsss wrote:Favoritism is a form of abuse. Do coaches have favorites? Absolutely. It's natural. Should they make it obvious and make everyone else feel less than, absolutely not. Coaches aren't trained psychologists. They are regular people with little to no education on developmental needs of young people. They just claim they are soccer professionals which we know is also a low bar to be met in this country. It's not about tough love it's about how to treat people and ensure growth is happening and you can't paint every single person with the same brush. Coaches needs to be intentional with their words and actions and at the very least communicate effectively. We need to start holding youth coaches accountable in this country and if you can't see that then you are part of the problem.


Agree with this statement 100% Almost feel like you're talking about our club with a horrible comment made from our coach to a select group of girls! If it was the coaches way to motivate the girls to step up she sure did the opposite and made the entire team camaraderie worsen!
[Post New]01/24/2023 19:46
quote
ECNLDD
Member Offline
soccerx3kidsss wrote:Pay to play is one thing but you can only pay to play so much. It's the politics and pull that come internally for the select few from the club (and I agree with you it's usually given to the kids who don't fully deserve it) - if you are lucky enough to influence a DOC because you are a coach at the club or you are a parent with a LOT of money, status and connections that can help the club then you will be able to find a work around. It's most important for these kids to focus on their own journey, but it's hard when they don't get the support they need from their coach. Unfortunately the regular parent who is trying their best to give their kid the best environment to learn and develop will get looked over time and time again. After seeing what every is saying there just doesn't seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel. Until standards are set higher and coaches are truly held accountability the cycle continues. Parents are scared, they don't know how to navigate finding a coach let alone a club that will truly value them as a member.


Seems like you have an axe to grind?!?! You must be parent from the younger team. Coaches can be tough, they can yell, they can criticize play, they also motivate, they can get the girls to work harder, they can develop those that have the work ethic, the desire, the willingness to be great. You could always join the lower team or go to another club and hope all of a sudden it's a better fit for your DD??
[Post New]01/25/2023 15:08
quote
soccerx3kidsss
Member Offline
No disrespect but I find it funny that you think I have an axe to grind because my kids can’t cut it with an "abusive coach". Suggesting we move down to a lower level? They are ECNL players. Not that this matters or means very much to be honest. We are on this pathway and it's scary as hell to see what is going on here.

There is a SERIOUS problem with youth sports in this country and specifically soccer coaches in this area. The reality is less than 0.5% make it pro - this isn’t and shouldn't be why kids play sports. Along the way coaches and teachers are the people we entrust that have the ability to either royally eff these kids up or impact them for the better.
Imagine if this stuff was happening in your child's school? Just imagine if your teachers acted like these coaches. You would be pulling them out and setting up a meeting with the principal before I finish this sentence. So why the double standard with sports?

Seems like I need to remind everyone on here that youth coaches, coach children…NOT mini pros…Children.

A bit louder for the people in the back… YOUTH COACHES, COACH CHILDREN! NOT MINI PROS…CHILDREN!!!

Too many coaches are in it for ALL the wrong reasons. Either money or ego…or even worse both. We need better coaches who truly care. We need a better system to vet coaches year to year and hold them accountable for the coaching they do. Most only want to align themselves with the kids who are talented…right now. Instant gratification. No long-term objective. No care for their full development on and off the field. No care for their mental health or shaping these players into strong individuals who are mentally and emotionally balanced.

We are building these children into adults and doing so can be a wonderful journey filled with growth and learning and pushing them to be the best versions of themselves and lessons of resilience. Life is hard and we do need to prepare kids for this but not the way it’s being done right now. You need to support them properly and intentionally through it all and never steal their ability to love the game and their desire to get better.

All I see in this area are coaches with HUGE EGOS because they won 1 dinky championship and they think that allows them to do whatever they want. They have no care about all players only a select few. No true quality control by clubs. It would just be so refreshing to see this landscape change. I started this thread for 1 reason, to see people's opinions on the best coaches in the area, and unfortunately at the end of this, it seems like that just doesn't exist.

Any person who says "this is just the way it is, get used to it" needs to take a long hard look in the mirror.
[Post New]01/27/2023 17:19
quote
Pepe
Member Offline
If you don't wanna win or go to college, fine. But lots do. They are coaching kids and as long as they aren't derogatory, they are fine to yell all day. These are simple coaches who have bad days, good days, relationship troubles, and have favorites. You also don't know how your kid isn't listening or paying attention to drills... maybe they aren't all you think they are.
All the coaches do their best and while you want more, you have what you have. Don't like ECNL competitiveness? Go play rec.
You really want them to "care"? Care how? Stop watching movies and expecting some Coach Carter bs. Never seen such beta crybaby attitude. You clearly never played sports growing up.
[Post New]01/28/2023 07:54
quote
soccer_dc
Member Offline
Pepe wrote:If you don't wanna win or go to college, fine. But lots do. They are coaching kids and as long as they aren't derogatory, they are fine to yell all day. These are simple coaches who have bad days, good days, relationship troubles, and have favorites. You also don't know how your kid isn't listening or paying attention to drills... maybe they aren't all you think they are.
All the coaches do their best and while you want more, you have what you have. Don't like ECNL competitiveness? Go play rec.
You really want them to "care"? Care how? Stop watching movies and expecting some Coach Carter bs. Never seen such beta crybaby attitude. You clearly never played sports growing up.


That’s a pretty outdated attitude. Just because it’s always been that way doesn’t mean it’s right. We can do better for our kids. It is possible to be ultra competitive and demand excellence without crossing into verbal abuse. Plenty of examples of good coaches like this in sports.

It’s not easy to change attitudes but it does happen over time. It used to be acceptable for teachers to hit kids in schools. Most of society in this country decided they didn’t want that anymore. There will always be some who don’t like change, especially those who were at the top and feel threatened.
[Post New]01/28/2023 09:05
quote
Ihatedumbsoccerparents
Member Offline
soccer_dc wrote:
Pepe wrote:If you don't wanna win or go to college, fine. But lots do. They are coaching kids and as long as they aren't derogatory, they are fine to yell all day. These are simple coaches who have bad days, good days, relationship troubles, and have favorites. You also don't know how your kid isn't listening or paying attention to drills... maybe they aren't all you think they are.
All the coaches do their best and while you want more, you have what you have. Don't like ECNL competitiveness? Go play rec.
You really want them to "care"? Care how? Stop watching movies and expecting some Coach Carter bs. Never seen such beta crybaby attitude. You clearly never played sports growing up.


That’s a pretty outdated attitude. Just because it’s always been that way doesn’t mean it’s right. We can do better for our kids. It is possible to be ultra competitive and demand excellence without crossing into verbal abuse. Plenty of examples of good coaches like this in sports.

It’s not easy to change attitudes but it does happen over time. It used to be acceptable for teachers to hit kids in schools. Most of society in this country decided they didn’t want that anymore. There will always be some who don’t like change, especially those who were at the top and feel threatened.


I must confess I come from the yelling coach generation. I recently removed my daughter from a club that had what I thought was a very good coach that yelled during games and sometimes at practice. My kid is very good and I thought this was pushing her to do well. It had the opposite effect. Although it did not bother my child when coach yelled at her, she would get upset when coach would yell at her friends and they got upset.

Fast forward 6 months, we are now on a new club. This coach is soft spoken but respectful all the girls seem to love his coaching style and they all play hard. It took me a minute to realize how important the relationship is between my DD and coach need to be great. Not the relationship between me and coach.

I used to believe in yelling and pushing the kids to their limits, I now believe getting these girls to pull together as a team and work hard for one another because they love the sport and want to preform for themselves creates a much healthier competitive environment…..my soap box speech…to each their own
[Post New]01/28/2023 20:16
quote
Burtlecut
Member Offline
soccer_dc wrote:
Pepe wrote:If you don't wanna win or go to college, fine. But lots do. They are coaching kids and as long as they aren't derogatory, they are fine to yell all day. These are simple coaches who have bad days, good days, relationship troubles, and have favorites. You also don't know how your kid isn't listening or paying attention to drills... maybe they aren't all you think they are.
All the coaches do their best and while you want more, you have what you have. Don't like ECNL competitiveness? Go play rec.
You really want them to "care"? Care how? Stop watching movies and expecting some Coach Carter bs. Never seen such beta crybaby attitude. You clearly never played sports growing up.


That’s a pretty outdated attitude. Just because it’s always been that way doesn’t mean it’s right. We can do better for our kids. It is possible to be ultra competitive and demand excellence without crossing into verbal abuse. Plenty of examples of good coaches like this in sports.

It’s not easy to change attitudes but it does happen over time. It used to be acceptable for teachers to hit kids in schools. Most of society in this country decided they didn’t want that anymore. There will always be some who don’t like change, especially those who were at the top and feel threatened.


It's folks like you that can't stand the old way and cope with it by saying, "it doesn't have to be that way". I disagree and damn glad kids get some hard nose direction from adults. Go watch news and see what happens to kids without direction. Don't blame the coaches because you're a soft parent.
[Post New]01/29/2023 15:59
quote
SDC
Member Offline
Burtlecut wrote:
soccer_dc wrote:
Pepe wrote:If you don't wanna win or go to college, fine. But lots do. They are coaching kids and as long as they aren't derogatory, they are fine to yell all day. These are simple coaches who have bad days, good days, relationship troubles, and have favorites. You also don't know how your kid isn't listening or paying attention to drills... maybe they aren't all you think they are.
All the coaches do their best and while you want more, you have what you have. Don't like ECNL competitiveness? Go play rec.
You really want them to "care"? Care how? Stop watching movies and expecting some Coach Carter bs. Never seen such beta crybaby attitude. You clearly never played sports growing up.


That’s a pretty outdated attitude. Just because it’s always been that way doesn’t mean it’s right. We can do better for our kids. It is possible to be ultra competitive and demand excellence without crossing into verbal abuse. Plenty of examples of good coaches like this in sports.

It’s not easy to change attitudes but it does happen over time. It used to be acceptable for teachers to hit kids in schools. Most of society in this country decided they didn’t want that anymore. There will always be some who don’t like change, especially those who were at the top and feel threatened.


It's folks like you that can't stand the old way and cope with it by saying, "it doesn't have to be that way". I disagree and damn glad kids get some hard nose direction from adults. Go watch news and see what happens to kids without direction. Don't blame the coaches because you're a soft parent.


+100
[Post New]01/30/2023 09:16
quote
novalegendary16
Member Offline
Burtlecut wrote:
soccer_dc wrote:
Pepe wrote:If you don't wanna win or go to college, fine. But lots do. They are coaching kids and as long as they aren't derogatory, they are fine to yell all day. These are simple coaches who have bad days, good days, relationship troubles, and have favorites. You also don't know how your kid isn't listening or paying attention to drills... maybe they aren't all you think they are.
All the coaches do their best and while you want more, you have what you have. Don't like ECNL competitiveness? Go play rec.
You really want them to "care"? Care how? Stop watching movies and expecting some Coach Carter bs. Never seen such beta crybaby attitude. You clearly never played sports growing up.


That’s a pretty outdated attitude. Just because it’s always been that way doesn’t mean it’s right. We can do better for our kids. It is possible to be ultra competitive and demand excellence without crossing into verbal abuse. Plenty of examples of good coaches like this in sports.

It’s not easy to change attitudes but it does happen over time. It used to be acceptable for teachers to hit kids in schools. Most of society in this country decided they didn’t want that anymore. There will always be some who don’t like change, especially those who were at the top and feel threatened.


It's folks like you that can't stand the old way and cope with it by saying, "it doesn't have to be that way". I disagree and damn glad kids get some hard nose direction from adults. Go watch news and see what happens to kids without direction. Don't blame the coaches because you're a soft parent.


this is an interesting thread. sad to see folks like you unable to grasp how much useful, scientific information there is out there to prove your outdated views don't hold up anymore. There are better ways and we have learned this and we need to teach coaches and we all must learn better methods. just my opinion.
[Post New]01/30/2023 22:37
quote
novasoccer15324
Member Offline
If you want yelling coaches on the girls side, just go to Maryland. From my experience most of the worst offenders of yelling girls coaches in northern VA have been flushed out, aged out, or moved on.
[Post New]01/31/2023 15:14
quote
Pepe
Member Offline
novalegendary16 wrote:
Burtlecut wrote:
soccer_dc wrote:
Pepe wrote:If you don't wanna win or go to college, fine. But lots do. They are coaching kids and as long as they aren't derogatory, they are fine to yell all day. These are simple coaches who have bad days, good days, relationship troubles, and have favorites. You also don't know how your kid isn't listening or paying attention to drills... maybe they aren't all you think they are.
All the coaches do their best and while you want more, you have what you have. Don't like ECNL competitiveness? Go play rec.
You really want them to "care"? Care how? Stop watching movies and expecting some Coach Carter bs. Never seen such beta crybaby attitude. You clearly never played sports growing up.


That’s a pretty outdated attitude. Just because it’s always been that way doesn’t mean it’s right. We can do better for our kids. It is possible to be ultra competitive and demand excellence without crossing into verbal abuse. Plenty of examples of good coaches like this in sports.

It’s not easy to change attitudes but it does happen over time. It used to be acceptable for teachers to hit kids in schools. Most of society in this country decided they didn’t want that anymore. There will always be some who don’t like change, especially those who were at the top and feel threatened.


It's folks like you that can't stand the old way and cope with it by saying, "it doesn't have to be that way". I disagree and damn glad kids get some hard nose direction from adults. Go watch news and see what happens to kids without direction. Don't blame the coaches because you're a soft parent.


this is an interesting thread. sad to see folks like you unable to grasp how much useful, scientific information there is out there to prove your outdated views don't hold up anymore. There are better ways and we have learned this and we need to teach coaches and we all must learn better methods. just my opinion.


Well, we all eagerly await your "scientific" studies on this. I'm sure they are of the highest regard and without question, we must never, ever deny the scientists. Please, I'm VERY interested in alllllllll the studies you have for us. Nothing says case closed to argument than, "well, studies say..." FFS. Just say your scared of yelling and you want your snowflake sheltered. Heaven help the darling if they don't get what they want in a nice tone.
post reply Forum Index » Soccer
Message Quick Reply
Go to: 

Search   Recent Topics   Hottest Topics