OP: you sound like a control freak and hormonal.

As others have said, you can use the EBM in the fridge at another feeding. You can freeze it.

As others have said, your husband is trying. It is stressful to take care of a newborn, let alone exactly to the letter of said controlling nag. I can easily picture a wailing baby and a frantic upset dad, not thinking perfectly, trying to feed and calm his child.

And finally I think BF mothers can really lose perspective in their exacting desire to do this amazing thing for their babies. But babies can be formula and BF and thrive. Marriages not so much.