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What do you say when you are asked when you and your husband are going to have kids?
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Anonymous
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I thought I'd ask here- what statements have you found helpful in response to family/friends/acquaintances who ask when you are going to have kids?
"You'll be the first to know" seems to impertinent for me to pull off effectively. I'd like to have a good standard response.. what have people said in response to these annoying inquiries? |
Anonymous
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After we get a dog and practice for awhile.
When we figure out to manage our round-the-trip sailing expedition with the bambino. When we get tired of buying fun things for ourselves. We used all of these, depending on the crowd. Impertinent, yes, but not actually responsive which felt like the right way to go for us. |
Anonymous
| When rude people stop asking us! |
Anonymous
| Wow, what a personal question. |
Anonymous
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I wish I had thought of 13:24's responses when I got this question!
I usually rolled my eyes and said something like, "you sound JUST like my mother!/mother in law!" Not as clever, but it did the trick. |
Anonymous
| "When God wants us to." People always shut up when I say this. Very few people push the subject once the G-word is brought up! |
Anonymous
LOL, i've tried this one too, works great in large gatherings. they look at you as some evangelical freak and walk away. i know its horrible, but i want the person asking the question to feel just as uncomfortable when they hear my response as i am when they ask the question. a dear friend said to me that after seeing me go through fertility treatments she realized how rude it is to ask a childless couple this question because you never know what struggles the couple may be dealing with. |
Anonymous
| I totally agree with you PP! Dealing with infertility has really opened my eyes up to so much! I find most people to be just idiots. |
Anonymous
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In a casual social situations I usually said something like "we've got a few more vacations planned before we have kids" or "it's not the right time for us." When cornered by DH's family, I felt I could not use my typical responses so I just said "that is something for DH and I to decide and is really none of your concern." That shut them up.
Dealing with these sorts of questions really did make me want to become a hermit... |
Anonymous
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My favorite from my sister at my grandfathers funeral
"wow, I cant believe people think its ok to ask such a personal question" |
Anonymous
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I usually say "We'll see," and leave it at that. I've also said, "We'll let you know." I try to be casual and light about it, usually with a relaxed smile on my face to take the edge off. It seems to work fine and people don't seem offended.
THat said, once when in a very bad mood about it all, I said, "Wow, did you just ask me when we're going to have kids? That's a really personal question." The person instantly realized they had overstepped and been impolite and apologized. While I then felt a little bad for making them feel bad, the question truly was rude. People really need to think before they ask these things . . . . By the way, I love the "When G-D wants us to" answer. It's not the way DH and I tend to think about fertility/infertility, but in some ways it's the truth, right? And nothing shuts people up more than invoking a higher power! 
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Anonymous
| I say, "when we are so blessed". B/c I don't invoke G-d but it gets the same point across. You can also say 'we're hopeful' as that isn't specific but also works. My big thing: we want kids, we're trying, and bugging us doesn't help. |
Anonymous
| Sometimes, I just said, "we are trying but its not working". That makes them nice and uncomfortable, and its true. |