4 y/o twins - does this get easier?
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Anonymous
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My twins are awesome, but I swear someone is always crying in my house. When does this stop?
Also, one twin wakes up 3-4 times per night asking for milk, so I'm a zombie most mornings and work full time. I do usually give him a little bit in the hopes that he'll fall asleep (I know this should be replaced with water). Just wondering if anyone has experienced this and, most importantly, when does this all get a bit easier? I just want 1 full night of sleep, and haven't had one in 4 years. |
Anonymous
| If you have partner, they need to do more. If you do not, get as much help as you can afford (au pair, live-in nanny, steady babysitter for same time every week where you pay for care whether you think you need it or not so you can work out, nap, read a novel (whatever). |
Anonymous
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Cold turkey on milk. No more at night, he can have water if he wakes up. Give them a little melatonin before bed (I cut the 1mg gummies in half). Just to help you re-set, then you can cut it back out again.
3-4 wakeups a night is why your kid is always crying. They need solid night time sleep as much as you do. |
Anonymous
+1. Agree with all of this. These are 4 year olds with bad habits. But the good news is they're rational enough to understand "you have a water bottle in your room if you get thirsty. You are not allowed to wake me up unless there's an emergency. If you wake me up before 7:00am (get an alarm clock), there will be XYZ consequence." I'm sure they're as sleep deprived as you - it is not normal for a preschooler to have their sleep so interrupted, and I'm sure that's contributing to their moods and crying during the day. Think of them as big kids and not toddlers anymore, and hold the line. Melatonin for a week or so to get through the initial band aide ripping isn't a bad idea, but just FYI it doesn't help kids STAY asleep, so it may not help the constant wake ups. |
Anonymous
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You have good advice here. In my mind 4 is about the age where my kids became more reliably able to get through the day without a meltdown.
Sleep in super important. If you feel cruel denying the milk, think how cruel it is to have him be tired like you are everyday. Come up with something that they will care about. Whoever stays quietly in their room till 7 for 3 days gets x. 5 days gets xx After a full 7 days we will have a big family celebration with [favorite thing]. |
Anonymous
| Twin mom here. 4/5 is when it gets better. I would stop giving your child milk/water at night. Make sure he has eaten a good meal and is hydrated and full a few hours prior to bedtime. I assume the crying is also associated with fact that the kid is exhausted from waking up several times a night. Maybe get a sound machine and some kind of stuffed animal to comfort him when he wakes up. Do a quick pat and tuck in and leave (sort of modified sleep training). You may need to get some professional advice on sleep training older children. It is really important for kids to get a full night's sleep without interruption. |
Anonymous
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Another twin mom here to third the advice to just give him a water bottle beside his bed and tell him he can have that, but no more milk at night. Also an OK to wake clock so they have a sense of whether it is actually time to rise and shine. This time of year can be hard with it getting light later. We also go through phases of splitting up our twins at night when we need one to get back on track and want to be able to let him fuss without waking up the other, so if you have space to split them up, this might be the time to do it. I bet the first few nights will be bad, but habits can be broken more quickly than we think (this is what I always tell myself when we are going through a needed upheaval/routine change).
Sleep is huge, if you can get this sorted out you'll all feel so much better. Good luck! |