At what age does critical thinking kick in? Is it possible to learn it?

[Anonymous]

Long story short, my step son seems to not have any critical thinking skills. He is 14. Recent example; He got a scrape on his ankle a few weeks ago. I told him to put some neosporin in it. Turns out he’s still putting neosporin on a totally healed scrape several weeks later. Things seem to just not occur to him. This afternoon we had come out of a big store (like target) and were going into another store on the way home. He went to get out of the car at the second store and started taking all the many target bags out of the car to carry into the next store.

Is it possible to teach him better thinking skills?

[Anonymous]

He sounds like a normal teen and you sound like you should back off.

[Anonymous]

I'm more interested in at what age empathetical thinking kicks in.

[Anonymous]

Give it a few years. Your kid has little life experience, and his brain won't be fully developed for 9 more years. This is why 14 year olds are considered kids and not adults.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is important: people need opportunities to learn. There is not some magic age at which they just know things. People have to learn things before they know them. The more things you know, the easier it is to put certain things together on your own. But you will not divine that knowlegde through osmosis.

When your stepson makes a mistake, remember you are a parent and this is an opportunity to teach him something new. When he starts to take the bags out of car, say "Oh no, we can leave those in the car while we're in the store. We don't want to have to carry them around." That might give him an opportunity to ask questions like "Aren't we worried someone will steel them?" and for you to explain "No, we'll only be a minute and our car has an alarm" or "Actually good point, let's put them in the trunk."

If, when your stepson does stuff like this, you treat him like he should already know and that he is lacking or dumb for not knowing, he will not learn the thing you want him to learn. He will learn not to trust his own instincts, that his dumb, that his stepmom thinks he is lacking.

People need opportunities to learn. A parent's job is to provide them with guidance through that process.

[Anonymous]

Op here.

Thanks for the replies.

For the record, I don’t treat him like he’s doing something dumb or that he is lacking... I just silently wonder.

I do understand that he has to grow but it’s just sometimes I think on of myself at his age and how I was babysitting... I don’t think we would trust him to babysit anyone’s kids. It’s not that he isn’t a sweet, loving boy but he is just not good a problem solving. That’s why I was wondering if this is something that can improve or is it too late.

[Anonymous]

As someone who has taught that age group for two decades, I assure you it is normal for teens to do goofy, thoughtless things. Cracks me up every single day at school! Critical thinking is for college students.

[Anonymous]

YOU need to explain in the beginning. "You use the Neosporin until the scab heals and falls off."

You remind me of my father, OP, who somehow believed that children magically knew how to do things and then could be yelled at or mocked because they didn't do them perfectly, simply because his children were bright.

It's up to you as an adult to teach. Actually explain to your stepson how the world works. Then he can develop critical thinking skills, because he has basic understanding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

Thanks for the replies.

For the record, I don’t treat him like he’s doing something dumb or that he is lacking... I just silently wonder.

I do understand that he has to grow but it’s just sometimes I think on of myself at his age and how I was babysitting... I don’t think we would trust him to babysit anyone’s kids. It’s not that he isn’t a sweet, loving boy but he is just not good a problem solving. That’s why I was wondering if this is something that can improve or is it too late.

You do realize your memory of yourself is not reliable? Perhaps you should use some critical thinking skills?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
YOU need to explain in the beginning. "You use the Neosporin until the scab heals and falls off."

You remind me of my father, OP, who somehow believed that children magically knew how to do things and then could be yelled at or mocked because they didn't do them perfectly, simply because his children were bright.

It's up to you as an adult to teach. Actually explain to your stepson how the world works. Then he can develop critical thinking skills, because he has basic understanding.

At 14, he should be able to read. That is 8th grade. Neosporin has some instructions on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

Thanks for the replies.

For the record, I don’t treat him like he’s doing something dumb or that he is lacking... I just silently wonder.

I do understand that he has to grow but it’s just sometimes I think on of myself at his age and how I was babysitting... I don’t think we would trust him to babysit anyone’s kids. It’s not that he isn’t a sweet, loving boy but he is just not good a problem solving. That’s why I was wondering if this is something that can improve or is it too late.

You do realize your memory of yourself is not reliable? Perhaps you should use some critical thinking skills?

I think memory of caring for other peoples kids for several hours alone is pretty reliable.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand all the hate. People post on here all the time about their adult husbands doing similar things and wondering where the disconnect was as they were being raised.

[Anonymous]

I’m 40 and I do dumb things sometimes, especially when I’m tired. How much sleep is he getting? Teens rarely get enough sleep. Hard to make good decisions when you’re chronically tired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
YOU need to explain in the beginning. "You use the Neosporin until the scab heals and falls off."

You remind me of my father, OP, who somehow believed that children magically knew how to do things and then could be yelled at or mocked because they didn't do them perfectly, simply because his children were bright.

It's up to you as an adult to teach. Actually explain to your stepson how the world works. Then he can develop critical thinking skills, because he has basic understanding.

At 14, he should be able to read. That is 8th grade. Neosporin has some instructions on it.

You really don’t want to help him, which is what stinks the most here. You want to denigrate him. Absolutely unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
YOU need to explain in the beginning. "You use the Neosporin until the scab heals and falls off."

You remind me of my father, OP, who somehow believed that children magically knew how to do things and then could be yelled at or mocked because they didn't do them perfectly, simply because his children were bright.

It's up to you as an adult to teach. Actually explain to your stepson how the world works. Then he can develop critical thinking skills, because he has basic understanding.

At 14, he should be able to read. That is 8th grade. Neosporin has some instructions on it.

Most adults don’t read the back of labels. Do you think a 14 year old will? He’s just a kid and some kids just need more feedback than others.