36 weeks with 3rd- fighting deep depression/anxiety

[Anonymous]

36 weeks, and the pregnancy has been rocky, to include broken bones, sprained ankles, ended up with gestational diabetes ( first for me). I'm feeling HUGE, they're debating a c-section ( a first for me again. My work is insane, I have so much to do and everyone is pushing me to get all of it done before maternity leave. I have told work that I have limited capacity now (I have to go to the hospital for monitoring multiple times a week), and I may get a few days with no additional to do items, but then they flood me with them.

On top of that, we're supposed to close on a new house one week after baby is set to arrive. I'm trying to see if I can move it earlier so we can start clearing things out, but there's so much to do.

My anxiety is off the charts. DH helps, and is main child care provider and has managed most meals, as for all of my doctor appointments, they end up delaying me getting home by hours most nights because I have to finish work.

Everyone I work with is like 25 yo, no children, and with how big my belly is, my melasma, etc, I feel huge.

I cried today because I wanted to get a pedicure with my daughter. I haven't had time to go during the week, I've been working weekends , and this past weekend was the only time I had. We drove to 5 different places to find all the nail salons closed. I finally just did it myself.

I have a hard time wanting to see well meaning friends and at the same time get sad when I see them out together. I just want to hide in the house and under my covers. I'm irritable and testy and it's not really fair to my family. At the same time, I'm annoyed b/c DH hasn't helped me pack at all. I can't nest. he's been on his phone all day doing nothing, but I want to cut him a break b/c I know daily drop offs and pick ups are hard.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP, I had pre-partum depression so I can relate. Your plate just sounds so full. If there is anything you can outsource even if it's hiring someone to pack for you, might be worth it.

[Anonymous]

It’s only a few more weeks op! Hang in there. Just let go what you can’t fix.

I’m one week postpartum and really feel 10x better than when I was pregnant. I’d have no trouble moving. Maybe not lifting heavy stuff but I could be packing and unpacking. Do you have family that can come help?

For work- just push back more.

[Anonymous]

Please, please, hire as much extra moving help as possible. Like the people who pack, clean, unpack. It might seem like an extravagance when you’re already buying a house... but just do it.

[Anonymous]

I agree your plate sounds super full and think you need to get all the moving help possible - especially if you may end up with a csection, because you won’t be able to do it in the weeks after baby.

I’m almost 38w myself so I can relate to some extent. You are approaching the window of ‘baby could come any day.’ You need to start saying no, outsource everything little thing possible, let go of every little thing possible, and do your best to survive.

Good luck Op.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for understanding everyone. Maybe I'll just do small things, like pack the hospital bag? I can't even remember what I need, but I feel like it's not that much

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s only a few more weeks op! Hang in there. Just let go what you can’t fix.

I’m one week postpartum and really feel 10x better than when I was pregnant. I’d have no trouble moving. Maybe not lifting heavy stuff but I could be packing and unpacking. Do you have family that can come help?

For work- just push back more.

If she has a c section, she's definitely going to have a hard time moving.

OP hire someone to do your move or you're going to have a nervous breakdown.

Unless I was in love with my job and the people there I would have already walked off one day and told my doctor I had a nervous breakdown and that I need medical leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please, please, hire as much extra moving help as possible. Like the people who pack, clean, unpack. It might seem like an extravagance when you’re already buying a house... but just do it.

Seriously, definitely worth charging up the credit card. Worth every penny.

[Anonymous]

This is not a mental health issue. This is simply that you have too much going on. In lots of places in Europe, you'd be on matenrity leave by now.

I think you just need to get it through your head that you are really doing too much right now. Like, you honestly can't do all this. You need to pull an emergency lever.

Is there something you can do to not move right now? I mean, even if it's paying two mortgages for a couple months? Or hiring a totally full service moving agency?

FOr work, can you get some sort of dr's note for the end of your pregnancy to have limited duties?

[Anonymous]

Everyone has made great suggestions - outsource whatever you can and push back on work. Being overwhelmed, especially when pregnant, sucks!! I just wanted to chime in and say hang in there! I feel for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not a mental health issue. This is simply that you have too much going on. In lots of places in Europe, you'd be on matenrity leave by now.

I think you just need to get it through your head that you are really doing too much right now. Like, you honestly can't do all this. You need to pull an emergency lever.

Is there something you can do to not move right now? I mean, even if it's paying two mortgages for a couple months? Or hiring a totally full service moving agency?

FOr work, can you get some sort of dr's note for the end of your pregnancy to have limited duties?

+1.

It doesn’t seem like a good idea to combine a third child + your demanding job + a move. Third children often break working moms or are the reason they drop out of the workforce. Realize this could be an accidental pregnancy. Hire significant help when you have the baby or quit your job. Don’t have anymore kids and don’t move again.

Life will get easier. Just not anytime soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not a mental health issue. This is simply that you have too much going on. In lots of places in Europe, you'd be on matenrity leave by now.

I think you just need to get it through your head that you are really doing too much right now. Like, you honestly can't do all this. You need to pull an emergency lever.

Is there something you can do to not move right now? I mean, even if it's paying two mortgages for a couple months? Or hiring a totally full service moving agency?

FOr work, can you get some sort of dr's note for the end of your pregnancy to have limited duties?

Agree- I would not jump to calling this a mental health issue. You have a LOT going on. 3rd baby even without Covid, moving, stress at work - is A LOT!
I am 2 weeks postpartum with my 3rd. Oldest is almost 4 - so it's been a lot this Covid year!!
One of the very best decisions I made this pregnancy is to plan to begin leave 1 week before my due date. I never did that before - the second baby, I was working and having contractions at 2:30pm - realized I couldn't concentrate and this might be labor - had the baby that night at 9:37pm! This time around I decided life at work can go on without me for an additional week, so I planned it ahead like this.
I had no idea how helpful that week would be. I found myself sitting on the floor playing with the kids since I didn't have to also work while managing them .
I took BATHS. I got a massage. I took care of myself.

Is there any way you can start sick leave soon? That would be my greatest suggestion.

You need to prioritize your health.

[Anonymous]

36 weeks with my second and can totally relate re: work. I killed myself my first and second trimesters, but have finally drawn a line in the last few weeks (due to gestational diabetes and frustration with my toxic office culture generally). Be transparent about your appointments (I'm going in weekly for ultrarsound, NST, and appt at this point) and the fact that you need your stress level to be low. The baby could come at any point, so they should not be relying on you super heavily at this point.. You should be transitioning work.

The house thing sounds really stressful. Do what you can there, but ask your husband to help you carry some of the mental load. So sorry OP. Only a few more weeks!