Can you address wasting food without creating bad food habits or eating disorders?

[Anonymous]

DD will pile plates full only to take three bites and be done with a meal or leave food out and never return to eating it which then is thrown away because it spoils. Treats like frozen lemonades or ice cream are asked for to be ordered (Uber Eats for example)then left on the counter and when returned to the freezer never eaten or left out too long to taste good and end up tossed.

She complains when not allowed to order food items she won’t finish so when I do give in, it goes to waste.

She has always been a nibbler type eater as a young child who would take only a few bites over a span of time and be finished with meals.

How do you handle this in a teen?

[Anonymous]

Is she an only child? For the treats, set a weekly or monthly budget that you can stomach and forget about whether she eats it or not.

For the other food, not sure if this will work for you, but I flat out tell my sons not to mess over food because someone in the house can eat it. I explain they are absolutely welcome to eat whatever (and however much) they want, but DO NOT mess over food that someone else in the house can eat.

Also - is she fixing what would be a normal serving and not eating it, or is she overloading her plate?

[Anonymous]

Why on earth are you ordering single-serving ‘treats’ from a delivery service?? If you want dessert, buy something at the store.

Good grief. She’s acting this way because you enable it. If she can’t select appropriate portions, serve her a plated meal. If she doesn’t eat dinner, there is no dessert. If she says she is hungry between meals, offer fruit. Your teen is eating like a toddler.

[Anonymous]

Tell her not to waste food. You won't cause an eating disorder.

Serve meals family style with the courses on serving plates. She should help herself to a single serving, and then is welcome to take seconds, thirds, whatever she wants, but you want to keep uneaten food on the serving plate so it can be saved for another meal.

Also, put her in charge of composting, recycling, and taking out the garbage. Explain that you want to reduce food waste. Seeing her uneaten food going into the compost bin or garbage may enlighten her as to how much food she is wasting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth are you ordering single-serving ‘treats’ from a delivery service?? If you want dessert, buy something at the store.

Good grief. She’s acting this way because you enable it. If she can’t select appropriate portions, serve her a plated meal. If she doesn’t eat dinner, there is no dessert. If she says she is hungry between meals, offer fruit. Your teen is eating like a toddler.

Read and reread until this sinks in. The eating style of nibbles and small snacks is fine. Some us can't handle a large meal in one sitting without becoming extremely uncomfortable.
Creating messes and waste is not okay. Your DD has not been taught the habit of finishing her leftovers later.
Do you have "salad" plates? When my kid's were small, we used those so potion sizes looked filling but we're necessarily smaller due to the plate size- caused less overfilling of a large plate and thus less waste. They were also permitted to cover the plate for a snack later if they weren't hungry enough at mealtime to finish. This was reoffered (not dessert or other snacks) when they inevitably came back hungry in an hour or so.
Now as large and hungry young men, they still grab a small plate if they only mean a snack or small portion because it's easier not to get tempted.

[Anonymous]

"You can have as much food as you want, but we don't waste food in this family. So start with small portions, and then help yourself to more." This will not cause an eating disorder.

[Anonymous]

Create family policy of taking small portions but encouraging second or third helpings for anyone who is hungry, with no restrictions.

In our house, whoever made dinner will sometimes even plate everyone's dishes before we sit down, and then people can get seconds themselves as they see fit. Not only does this minimize food waste but it also encourages people to eat more variety because they get some of everything on their plate to start.

For treats I would just do fewer single serving treats. Don't get single serving ice cream treats. Buy gallons of ice cream and reinforce the small portion plus seconds rule. Or buy treats like cookies that are easy to portion out. I think treats from take out are wasteful even if someone eats the whole serving, to be honest. Desserts are almost always overpriced at restaurants and poorly portioned (often too big or too small). It's fine if you are actually at a restaurant and it's part of the experience -- we love ordering dessert when out to eat as a family. But ordering desserts through Uber Eats seems like a waste on many levels -- the packaging, the cost of delivery, etc. It's easy to have treats around the house that are easier to portion and just say "no, we don't order desserts with take out, we have things at home already."

[Anonymous]

Plate her food for her (and everyone) in the kitchen. Give her less.

Do not order anything from Ubereats. Buy treats cheaper from the grocery store and she can eat those when she is hungry. Or, she pays for delivery with whatever money she may have.

Personally, I wouldn't worry so much about food wasted on the plate at dinner as much as the excessive money and time wasted on food delivery.

[Anonymous]

OMG, don't micromanage her eating. That's bizarre and unhealthy. I'd let it go. Except I would not agree to uber eats desserts or junk more than once a week. Its unhealthy, and apparently wasted anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"You can have as much food as you want, but we don't waste food in this family. So start with small portions, and then help yourself to more." This will not cause an eating disorder.

This is perfect. Do this.

[Anonymous]

“If you finish this, you can have more.” On repeat. My kids know I’m not going to toast two halves of a bagel if they usually only eat one half and toss the other, but they still whine about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"You can have as much food as you want, but we don't waste food in this family. So start with small portions, and then help yourself to more." This will not cause an eating disorder.

This is perfect. Do this.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"You can have as much food as you want, but we don't waste food in this family. So start with small portions, and then help yourself to more." This will not cause an eating disorder.

This is perfect. Do this.

Exactly.

This is good. And remember you buy the food and you support healthy eating habits. Get things for home vs Uber eats as just a sometimes thing - like frozen lemonades etc. don’t restrict any kinds of foods in particular. Most people with true eating disorders have a genetic component (www.feast-Ed.org) vs disordered eating practices or not healthy eating habits.

- mom of DC with anorexia

[Anonymous]

Good advice above. You can also frame it from an economic stand point, or even a privilege/access standpoint.

[Anonymous]

I’m grossed out by this. Are you really that terrified of saying No to your child?

UberEats should not be a daily thing. Set a limit of once a week. For food in your house, serve smaller portions. Say you can have more when you’re done.