What is the norm on 11 year olds getting together outside of school during covid?

[Anonymous]

My older kid was at a neighborhood school before covid, and had been at the same school since he was tiny, so by middle school he was pretty much on his own as far as arranging his social life.

But my younger kid is starting a new school for sixth. He made a new friend today, day 1, and wants to see the kid this weekend, which I think is great, but I am guessing kid is not walking/biking distance. I don't want to do indoors, since we have a high risk family member, so I was thinking of suggesting they go somewhere outdoors together.

Do the kids just organize the whole thing, and I have to trust there won't be crossed wires, or do I still talk to the other mom?

We've been locked down pretty tight, and the difference between mid fourth grade when we last did something like this (totally would have called the mom) and early 6th seems huge.

[Anonymous]

Does he have a phone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he have a phone?

Yes

[Anonymous]

I would let them make the plans and then you confirm with mom. It sounds like they live far enough apart that they will need parent help driving, so you have to be involved.

[Anonymous]

We do both - sometimes kids, sometimes parents but don't eb surprised if a parent says no right now. We'd say no.

[Anonymous]

Kids with phones typically make the play date first and then parents get in touch to firm up the details

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We do both - sometimes kids, sometimes parents but don't eb surprised if a parent says no right now. We'd say no.

Would you say no to anything outdoors?

I was kind of assuming that by insisting on outdoors, and masks, and on each parent driving their kid, I’d be on the covid conservative side.

Are there families with kids in school who wouldn’t allow that?

[Anonymous]

We don’t restrict outdoors at all.

[Anonymous]

I am encouraging my 6th grader to make plans, but he is such an introvert so it doesn't really happen. I am friends with his friends' parents so I reach out sometimes. He still doesn't have a phone, but when he does, I am going to leave it up to him I think.

[Anonymous]

At this age, they need parent confirmation of plan. Can’t tell you how many times my kid makes a plan with friends and then it turns out friend didn’t know they were going out of town for weekend, having lunch with grandma, running errands, grounded until homework done, etc, etc.

[Anonymous]

Kids organize (my kid w/o phone does this at school or on Google chat). One parent confirms with the other and adjusts plan as necessary. My kid knows generally any outdoors plan is fine. With a couple friends from families we are especially close to, we allow more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At this age, they need parent confirmation of plan. Can’t tell you how many times my kid makes a plan with friends and then it turns out friend didn’t know they were going out of town for weekend, having lunch with grandma, running errands, grounded until homework done, etc, etc.

+1

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone!

I sent him off with a list of suggestions he knew I'd say yes to (e.g. these times/days, and these activities), and instructions to ask his friend(s) and if he manages to make a plan to get their parent's number, and I'll call or text to follow up. Does that sound about right?

I feel like a first time parent all over again, even though this is my youngest.

-- OP

[Anonymous]

So, next question.

What kinds of things would your middle school boys want to do that are outdoors that are not at someone's house. I can't host here, so he's going to propose things like

Meeting at a trail to go bike riding, maybe with picnic?

Meeting at a park to play basketball or throw a football

Batting range

Various kinds of golf (foot, frisbee, regular, mini)

Go karts

Swimming

What other ideas have people found?

[Anonymous]

Biking
Hiking
Rick climbing
Skateboarding
Frisbee golf