Independent playtime 1 year old

[Anonymous]

I have a 1-year old baby boy and I have been seeking to create opportunities for independent playtime since birth.

When he is in my care, I put him in his playard 3-4 times per day for 15-20 minutes at a time, so all in, around 1 hour.

I have asked the nanny to do the same.

I think it's good for me, because I can get quick tasks done and for him, because it creates opportunities for him to self-entertain and get creative with his play.

If he complains, I play with him, but most of the time, he does not mind.

My husband though is concerned that we are not giving the baby enough attention and that he needs more engagement.

How long do others let their toddlers play independently and how do you go about it?

[Anonymous]

Unless your DH is doing significant day-to-day, one on one parenting, I would not discuss this with him.

[Anonymous]

What you’re doing is great for kids. They don’t need to be engaged all of the time. You’re right here op

[Anonymous]

I don’t put her in the play yard, but my 1 year old plays independently on her own. Probably 5ish minutes at a time.

But I do a lot of things “with” her like laundry, dishes, cooking. It helps a lot to set up spaces for safety.

I do put her in her crib or activity table but for shorter amounts of time - when I go to grab the laundry from the basement, when I go to the bathroom, etc.

That all said I don’t see what is wrong with what you’re doing.

[Anonymous]

OP you're basically doing perfect parenting wrt to this so just keep it up

[Anonymous]

We don’t use a play yard right play pen but my 11 month old plays on her own but for only about five to ten minutes at a time. I don’t really leave her alone though. I try to divide her play time into three types: me actively playing with her, me commenting on what she’s doing and asking questions; and me being completely silent. I also engage her with reading and just talking about what we see.

I have no clue if what I’m doing is right or enough either.

[Anonymous]

My 1 year old plays independently a lotttt all day. Not in a play yard but our house is baby proofed and he just walks around and explores and plays however he wants. I guess it’s not truly independent as I’m often in the same room as him keeping a loose eye, but not interacting with him all hours of the day. He will bring random things to me or come snuggle when he wants but he’s very content to entertain himself for long periods of time - I am absolutely not interacting with him all hours of the day and I think it’s great for him!

[Anonymous]

I did this from age 1 to 2. After breakfast, she would go in her pack and play for “quiet time” for a half hour. She had toys and books she only played with while in there. I’d do some cleaning, a quick workout, answer emails, etc. The bonus is she also determined this was the time she’d do a poop in her diaper each day so it accomplished many things!

[Anonymous]

Why don't you do something structured if DH thinks he's not getting enough attention?

Constantly playing with a kid so he can't self entertain is not a road you want to go down.

[Anonymous]

Yes, independent play is important. I've never used a playyard - I just kind of put them down on the floor and let them do what they want. But if a playyard works for you, then fine.

How often is your husband seeing the baby? If he really only gets to see him for like one day on the weekend, then in that case, yea, I would just let them play and interact and skip the insistence on independent play.

[Anonymous]

Your DH is wrong. Ignore him. Give your kid time to play by themself and let them do it for as long as they can sustain! That's when they develop creativity and focus. Encourage them to play for longer and longer stretches on their own. This is key for later when they are in school and need to focus for long periods of time.

[Anonymous]

I let my child play independently as much as humanly possible at that age. Honestly I do not enjoy playing with young children so I lean on independent play. It's not like I ignored her existence, I would talk and engage, but I'm not a "get down on the floor" type mom. You're doing a good thing for her development, OP!