Two working Parents - How do you handle Drop off and Pickups?

[Anonymous]

Our DC has just been admitted to a Pre-K private. School plus after school runs until a maximum of 6 pm. We are considering relocating to a location very close to the school so as to minimize the additional commute times. I was curious about other parents' experience in this regard. Did you relocate close to school? Carpool with other parents? Getting to school by 6 pm each day also seems like it will be a real challenge to us. Do parents often hire someone to pick up their DC from school?

PS. We will have a half time nanny but she does not drive.

[Anonymous]

Single mom here. I certainly wouldn't move as you could decide you don't like the school after a year or two. I'd either get a new nanny who drives or find a reliable college student or off duty nanny who is available to pick up your child after school. I know lots of single parents who do drop off and pick up everyday so it can be done. But I would never move. GL.

[Anonymous]

We have 2 kids, each in different locations about 4 miles apart. Our son is in preschool and our daughter is in daycare. In the morning, my husband takes my son to preschool and I take my daughter to daycare. In the evening, it's reversed. Our daycare is closer to our home so it's easier for me to get my daughter there and still get to work at a decent time (our preschool involves driving in more traffic). We didn't move, since I specifically looked for daycares/preschools near our home. We don't carpool. My husband's schedule is pretty flexible as is mine. I try to get my daughter to daycare as soon at it opens (7:30pm). My son's school also closes at 6:30pm so we have some extra time there as well if traffic is bad.

[Anonymous]

Yes, we have hired someone to drive our carpool every day.

[Anonymous]

Thanks PPs. To PP who hired someone to drive each day -- is this a student? How much does this work out on a monthly basis?

[Anonymous]

We have 3 kids at 2 schools. Over time we have adjusted our schedule (unfortunately not workload yet). Often means starting extremely early in the am to get a couple hours in before drop off. We get our kids ready extremely fast and on tight schedule. We coordinate who pick ups and drops off., which varies by meeting schedules. We have a list of emergency back-ups for car pool and we try to return the favor often.

Strongly agree - don't move, you need to see the fit next year and frankly, over time.

[Anonymous]

we only applied to schools close to home and not far off the commuting route. Unless you would move to that neighborhood for other reasons, I wouldn't move this year. Give it a year or two.

Carpooling is a great idea. There don't seem to be families in aftercare who live super-close to us though, so we haven't pursued that avenue.

In order to give each of us some evening flexibility (either to work late or to--gasp--go to happy hour), we alternate the drop off and pick up.

I drop off on M-W-F and pick up on T-Th. DH does the opposite. On days I pick up, I get to work a little earlier so that I can leave by 5 to be absolutely certain of getting across town well before 6 PM (usually 5:35 - 5:45). If DH has an early meeting on a day that he is supposed to drop off, we switch. If he has to be at a client site way outside the beltway in the afternoon, I'll pick up, as the traffic is too unpredictable.

We find this alternating to be equitable. DH never got to do drop off and pick ups for the daycare years. He is really enjoying those few extra minutes with DC when they chat about their days.

One other thing: our DC had been in daycare until as late as 6:30, getting home at 7, bed at 8 or 8:30. We had to make bedtime 8:30 b/c pre-K was so much more exhausting. DC is almost too tired to eat dinner some nights. So adjusting your work schedules (if possible) for an earlier dinner might be necessary.

[Anonymous]

I hired someone, along w/ another family, to drive in the morning. This person is a nanny for another family who doesn't start til 9 and needs the extra cash. We pay about $35/day (about 18 per family) - includes gas expenses, and also we live fairly far away. It saves me, personally, about an hour and a half, i.e., can get to work an hour earlier, and though the daily ticket seems high, it is definitely worth it.

[Anonymous]

When our first was really young, we too had a nanny who didn't drive. Once DC got older, we saw that this situation just wasnt' going to work out. I don't know how families deal with nannies who don't drive, unless they live next door to school, soccer, friends, the doctor, etc. and other during-the-school-day stops. We too have an aftercare that ends at 6pm. In order to help with the juggling involved with kids even with a nanny, a few years ago I left a crazy-hours job to work at the gov't, so I (and my DW) now have much more flexibility to pick up from aftercare. On days when that's tough, our nanny does the pick up. In your case, I assume your problem would be solved if you had a nanny with a car (or, as some people do, buy a nanny-car).

[Anonymous]

My husband & I both work -- we did this juggling act from ages 2-18 for our daughter...we only have one child. We never got enough sleep. It was rough. If you can find a nanny who can drive -- that wll save your sanity. We tried carpools -- that never worked because all of the kids had different after school activities. Good luck. There's no magic answer.

[Anonymous]

Just a note: as your kids get older, you will want to drop them off or pick them up occasionally. That's when they talk to you and you find out what's going on at school.

[Anonymous]

I'm not getting this -- if the issue is can you get from work to school by 6 pm, how does living near school make that any easier? Or are you thinking that if you lived nearer (like within easy walking distance?) to school, someone else (the PT non-driving nanny) could pick your DC up? Not a bad set-up (depending on how many other DCs, how old, and their schedules), but seems like it would drastically limit your housing options given the short notice.

[Anonymous]

Yes PP. Living close to school means that our nanny could walk to do the drop off and pickup. And you are right. This very dramatically narrows the housing options. Hence the dilemma.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the clarification!

I knew one family who had that set up (but it didn't involve relocation) and it worked well until the oldest kid (OK) was in 2nd grade. At which point school was no long a good fit for OK. They kept the nanny, and the younger kid stayed at the school across the street for the next year, but I think it quickly became unsustainable and so YK joined OK at the new school and it was hard to justify keeping the nanny since she couldn't relieve them of pickup duties. So the parents have spent the last few years with the same draining aftercare/carpools/leave work early some days for extracurriculars that you're concerned about.

I tend to agree with PPs that once extracurriculars kick in, the non-driving nanny doesn't work out (unless you live near extracurriculars and great public transit and the nanny likes taking the kids on the bus or Metro. Unless relocation gets you those things, it's not a long-term solution. But if it *does* get you those things, it can be much less stressful and, down the line, will enable your DC to be a little more independent than lots of kids get to be these days.

In saying all this, I'm assuming you're talking about a campus that is at least PreK-5, preferably longer. And that you hope to keep DC there the whole time and anticipate being able to send the next DC to the same school. If not, the more realistic longer-term solution is the nanny who drives.