nanny share and covid precautions

[Anonymous]

we do a nanny share with another family. they are preparing to have another baby in the winter and are feeling very nervous about Delta. (understandably!). They want to tighten up and are proposing that we come to some kind of agreement of how we will restrict our activities. For example, they have expressed that they are not comfortable with us traveling on the weekends, even if we agree to test upon return. I am struggling because I want to be respectful and a team player, but it feels like a lot to ask us to run all of our plans by them. Is this standard right now? We are pretty covid cautious- wear masks indoors, only gather with friends outside, fully vaccinated, etc.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like its time to end the share.

[Anonymous]

The share should not rule your life. They don’t get to control your activities.

[Anonymous]

Can you ask them what their concerns are, specifically? If you already mask indoors, only gather with groups outside and are vaccinated... it sounds like those behaviors will continue whether you are at home or take a drive to another town for the weekend.

[Anonymous]

I think tightening up for the three weeks prior to her due date is reasonable and you should accommodate- but for months? That’s too much to ask. If they want that they need their own nanny, not a share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:we do a nanny share with another family. they are preparing to have another baby in the winter and are feeling very nervous about Delta. (understandably!). They want to tighten up and are proposing that we come to some kind of agreement of how we will restrict our activities. For example, they have expressed that they are not comfortable with us traveling on the weekends, even if we agree to test upon return. I am struggling because I want to be respectful and a team player, but it feels like a lot to ask us to run all of our plans by them. Is this standard right now? We are pretty covid cautious- wear masks indoors, only gather with friends outside, fully vaccinated, etc.

You don't sound pretty covid careful if you re traveling on weekends. I can't blame them. You have several unvaccinated kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we do a nanny share with another family. they are preparing to have another baby in the winter and are feeling very nervous about Delta. (understandably!). They want to tighten up and are proposing that we come to some kind of agreement of how we will restrict our activities. For example, they have expressed that they are not comfortable with us traveling on the weekends, even if we agree to test upon return. I am struggling because I want to be respectful and a team player, but it feels like a lot to ask us to run all of our plans by them. Is this standard right now? We are pretty covid cautious- wear masks indoors, only gather with friends outside, fully vaccinated, etc.

You don't sound pretty covid careful if you re traveling on weekends. I can't blame them. You have several unvaccinated kids.

+1. But in any case, your COVID approaches are no longer compatible, so give some notice and end the share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think tightening up for the three weeks prior to her due date is reasonable and you should accommodate- but for months? That’s too much to ask. If they want that they need their own nanny, not a share.

It might be tough to find a nanny that is completely willing to shut down her social life too, unless they are willing to pay a LOT...but this family is used to paying a "share" rate.
That family should probably just have a parent stay home and take care of their own kids.

[Anonymous]

No this is not the norm and I suspect even if you agree there is 0% chance your nanny will. They can ask you, you can say yes or no, but you’re not a jerk at all if you say no. I have a newborn and wouldn’t expect anyone including our nanny to do anything differently just bc I now have a newborn. It’s DH and my job to manage our risk exposure - not other people’s to change their behavior for us

[Anonymous]

First, speak to your nanny. Is she willing to do what they ask? If not, they need to go find their own share.

[Anonymous]

Given the recent studies out about the risks to pregnant women, I get them wanting that. But if it doesn't work for you, say you're willing to get tested when you get back to town and take precautions while you are traveling (if you are), but if they need more than that, it's probably time to end the share.