When your friendship changes

[Anonymous]

I’ve been friends with someone for about 15 years now. We have a lot in common.
She’s a wonderful person.

In the past couple of years I feel like our friendship has shifted. It used to feel more equal—we would vent about the same amount, brag about our kids the same amount, check in on each other the same amount. It felt very balanced and good.

The shift has been that my friend doesn’t contact me as much, I initiate more of the conversations, I check in on her more—ask how she’s been, ask how one of her kids is doing with X, that sort of thing. She doesn’t seem to be pulling away in other ways (when we see each other all is normal; she does want to still see me). I don’t think I’m particularly needy or overbearing. I miss our old friendship and feel a little slighted sometimes when I look back and see how much more I put into the communication. She’s not particularly busy, so I don’t think that’s what’s going on. I feel like she doesn’t care as much about me as she used to.

I need to figure out how to come to terms with the change.

Has anyone dealt with this? I feel like I haven’t dealt with these sort of feelings since middle school (and I’ve had other friendships come and go, shift, somehow this one feels different to me).

Any advice?