TTC since Jan 2018 in my 40s; when to stop

[Anonymous]

TTC in your 40s is not for the faint of heart. We had one MMC, in October 2019, but otherwise nothing. Took 7-8 months off for various reasons (travel, job change, etc.). Agreed that we would let time/nature run its course and see what happens so no fertility treatments. Did go in to check numbers a few times at both the OB and the fertility clinic. Nothing unusual; just old eggs. Periods still regular. Wondering at what point we should call it quits. We already have 2 older children (12 and 8). At what age should we stop TTC?

[Anonymous]

Now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:TTC in your 40s is not for the faint of heart. We had one MMC, in October 2019, but otherwise nothing. Took 7-8 months off for various reasons (travel, job change, etc.). Agreed that we would let time/nature run its course and see what happens so no fertility treatments. Did go in to check numbers a few times at both the OB and the fertility clinic. Nothing unusual; just old eggs. Periods still regular. Wondering at what point we should call it quits. We already have 2 older children (12 and 8). At what age should we stop TTC?

Seems like you are kinda ready to stop since you are trying to let nature run its course. Also, how old are you? Are you 40 or 42/43? I think it makes a small difference.

[Anonymous]

Seems like you’ve let nature run its course. This is a good stopping point. Peace to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:TTC in your 40s is not for the faint of heart. We had one MMC, in October 2019, but otherwise nothing. Took 7-8 months off for various reasons (travel, job change, etc.). Agreed that we would let time/nature run its course and see what happens so no fertility treatments. Did go in to check numbers a few times at both the OB and the fertility clinic. Nothing unusual; just old eggs. Periods still regular. Wondering at what point we should call it quits. We already have 2 older children (12 and 8). At what age should we stop TTC?

Seems like you are kinda ready to stop since you are trying to let nature run its course. Also, how old are you? Are you 40 or 42/43? I think it makes a small difference.

OP here - I'm 43. I think my husband is more ready to stop than me. Its a difficult thing to let go of when you really want it.

[Anonymous]

I think if you want to conceive naturally it may be a good time to stop. I think if you'd like to pursue other methods, this would be a good time to start. All the best, OP!

[Anonymous]

Not exactly your situation but we stopped trying (Eg no temp taking no timing) but we also don’t prevent. I have finally reached the stage that I think I would be slightly more upset to be pregnant than excited. This slow end is easier for me then making a ‘decision to stop’. I also gave away baby stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if you want to conceive naturally it may be a good time to stop. I think if you'd like to pursue other methods, this would be a good time to start. All the best, OP!

+1. I think the PP who said not necessarily making a hard decision to stop TTC but just keep on letting nature take its course is wise, but it also sounds kind of like you really do still want to really try for another kid. (I know I'm reading a lot into your few sentences here so apologies if I'm totally off base.) If so, it wouldn't hurt to visit an RE (fertility doctor), or even just try reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility. There are some things you could try - OTC supplements, acupuncture - shy of medical fertility treatments that might help if you want to give them a shot.

[Anonymous]

If you didn't have other children, I'd advise you to pursue IVF (if you can afford it). But I think with 2 other kids already I'd stop actively trying. Maybe don't prevent, if you are really ok with a 3rd, but I think I'd actively stop trying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:TTC in your 40s is not for the faint of heart. We had one MMC, in October 2019, but otherwise nothing. Took 7-8 months off for various reasons (travel, job change, etc.). Agreed that we would let time/nature run its course and see what happens so no fertility treatments. Did go in to check numbers a few times at both the OB and the fertility clinic. Nothing unusual; just old eggs. Periods still regular. Wondering at what point we should call it quits. We already have 2 older children (12 and 8). At what age should we stop TTC?

Seems like you are kinda ready to stop since you are trying to let nature run its course. Also, how old are you? Are you 40 or 42/43? I think it makes a small difference.

OP here - I'm 43. I think my husband is more ready to stop than me. Its a difficult thing to let go of when you really want it.

Sending my love to you! you could try a few months with OPKs and Temperature. It's a very tough!

[Anonymous]

We tried for a long time and just conceived. I’m 42. Also my third.

[Anonymous]

Why are you even trying now?

You have two other children who are significantly older. Usually, I’m all for people trying for a third or doing whatever it takes to conceive in their 40’s, but your situation hits differently. At your kid’s ages they absolutely will notice if you’re super stressed and moody from IVF.

Enjoy the kids you have.

[Anonymous]

Why haven't you tried IVF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We tried for a long time and just conceived. I’m 42. Also my third.

OP here -- congratulations! Very happy for you. Did you do IVF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why haven't you tried IVF?

OP response: because we have other children already, we decided not to go through the stress of IVF. Also, when we met with the RE 3 years ago, he said our odds with IVF were no different than well timed intercourse. Although, in hindsight I'm not sure that 3 years of trying without success was a better choice. We use OPK tests and BBT so our timing each month is good. It's a hard decision to stop though. The "what if" keeps coming up.