how long can I do timeout for 2 year old?

[Anonymous]

2 year old almost cries every day for things that does not go her way or things that upsets with her without any reasons. DH grab her and put her upstair with gate closed when things go out of way with her keep screaming and crying nonstop. He sometimes put her in her bedroom or sometimes he put her in the bedroom with gate to staircase closed for a few minutes. And, he is upstair in his room when he gives her timeout and I can hear her screaming and crying like crazy and roar. But once I go up and give her a hug, she is fine and stops crying instantly like magic. How long can I do timeout for that age?

[Anonymous]

*sometimes he put her in the bedroom FLOOR with gate to staircase closed for a few minutes

[Anonymous]

two minutes

[Anonymous]

Yeah, 2 mins. 1 min per age is the recommendation I've heard.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. Another question, how often can I do 2 minutes per day? Normally, we do at least 1 times a day, but sometimes 2-3 times per day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Another question, how often can I do 2 minutes per day? Normally, we do at least 1 times a day, but sometimes 2-3 times per day.

And, we are not sure if timeout is working or not. But, we feel like she needs to be punished for her irrational behaviors and learn that screaming/crying does not get her anything. She sometimes spits and throws things out of madness.

[Anonymous]

Why do you need to punish her for having strong emotions and not yet having the maturity to control them? Of course don't give her what she's screaming for, but you can either ignore her screaming or, even better, empathize with her about how hard it is when you can't have what you want. No time out necessary.

[Anonymous]

0 minutes. Timeout for this age, in my opinion, is ridiculous, ineffective, and emotionally damaging.

please consider doing time in. talk to your child after the tantrum passes. comfort them. let them know they are having big emotions, they are upset, but they cannot hit/hurt someone. mommy/daddy is here. it's hard to not get what you want. i hear you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need to punish her for having strong emotions and not yet having the maturity to control them? Of course don't give her what she's screaming for, but you can either ignore her screaming or, even better, empathize with her about how hard it is when you can't have what you want. No time out necessary.

NP. Just curious, at what age would you hold a child accountable for having the maturity to control "strong emotions"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Another question, how often can I do 2 minutes per day? Normally, we do at least 1 times a day, but sometimes 2-3 times per day.

And, we are not sure if timeout is working or not. But, we feel like she needs to be punished for her irrational behaviors and learn that screaming/crying does not get her anything. She sometimes spits and throws things out of madness.

irrational behaviors?! she is TWO YEARS OLD. brain literally not developed. no impulse control.

honestly i feel badly for her if you all think 2 year olds need to be punished for being irrational.

please read some janet lansbury or dr becky kennedy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need to punish her for having strong emotions and not yet having the maturity to control them? Of course don't give her what she's screaming for, but you can either ignore her screaming or, even better, empathize with her about how hard it is when you can't have what you want. No time out necessary.

This. Timeouts don't solve a 2 year old being irrational. 2 year olds are irrational because they are 2. Forget the timeouts, they do nothing. Don't give in to the tantrum, but don't punish for crying or upset, either. It can grate on your last nerve, for sure, so feel free to put yourself into a timeout if your kid is somewhere safe to regroup.

[Anonymous]

We don't do time out until our kids around 7 years old. Before that, we do time IN. We take them into a different room, but we stay with them, and help them calm down. Sometimes we just sit with them while they calm themselves. But we don't banish them to a space by themselves. I don't believe they're truly learning anything productive that way.

[Anonymous]

0 minutes. Timeouts are ineffective, especially at 2. Screaming and 'irrational' emotions are just part of having a 2 year old. Just acknowledge her feelings and move on with your day - don't give in to her demands. Just say - I hear you. YOu are frustrated. When she calms down, you can begin to have conversations about how to react when she is angry - but no teaching can be done when she is mad/upset/crying/screaming. Books on child development can help your husband understand the reasons behind tantrums and how best to respond.

[Anonymous]

Sadly, two year olds do not have the cognitive ability to understand any remotely complex cause and effect, so punishments won't do anything. I don't think it's abuse or anything but you'll be disappointed if you hope its will change behavior.

[Anonymous]

2 minutes per event.

Time outs are not useful if there isn't a specific reason for them. The kids won't learn like this.

For my kids it was usually physically aggressive behavior (hitting, pushing) that resulting in a time out. Sometimes other stuff, but something specific and understandable for the child.

You may want to watch some Supernanny to make sure you're using this strategy effectively. Seems like you or your DH are just annoyed and angry, but the child doesn't understand the punishment.