Counselor recs for sexually risky teen

[Anonymous]

14 y o dd is ready to head off to high school and we’ve been dealing wiith numerous instances of risky online behavior over the last two years

Sending half nudes to bf, talking to online strangers
Each time we take away the phone for months , talk, talk, talk

And every time she gets it back there is a new app or boy or risky behavior we have to ground her for again

I don’t even know if she is ready to go back in person with this attitude

Maybe I am not talking the right things to her, anyone has any advice and /or counselor recommendations

Last thing she told me was maybe she was different from other girls and is just more sexually needful, how do I react to that? I calmly said it is okay but she needs to find healthy ways to channel that energy and not on the internet? But I myself don’t know what that means? Any help on that too will be appreciated.

[Anonymous]

See of she has adhd or another underlying condition. Therapists don't diagnose underlying conditions.

[Anonymous]

That would have been me, 30 years ago and with no internet or phones. I took insane risks and nothing stopped me. Everything I did — partying, drinking, sex seemed way more extreme than most teens. Since then have been diagnosed with bipolar. Maybe that explains it. I wish someone could have helped me at the time. I have a lot of regret and shame for things I did.

[Anonymous]

I’d definitely get her some help and get rid of the phone or internet access. No good will come of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That would have been me, 30 years ago and with no internet or phones. I took insane risks and nothing stopped me. Everything I did — partying, drinking, sex seemed way more extreme than most teens. Since then have been diagnosed with bipolar. Maybe that explains it. I wish someone could have helped me at the time. I have a lot of regret and shame for things I did.

Oh hey me too! I had had sex with 5 people by the time I was 16. It was so nice to know a decade later why I did those things but at the time I just felt like I was a shitty human being. Be on the lookout for Bipolar II disorder, it’s harder to spot but it’s what I have. Lamictal and a little self care is all I need to control it.

[Anonymous]

Op here ..so we don’t even talk to a therapist first who is geared toward teen issues such as these?
Go directly to ped?

[Anonymous]

I have the same issues with my DD. Also about to begin high school. She has been talking to a counselor but the behavior has not improved. The counselor has not suggested am evaluation for ADHD or anything else.
It’s frustrating and frightening. Taking the phone away is not the answer. High school aged kids need to be able to socialize normally, they need to fit in with their peers and they need to take responsibility for their behavior. I wish I could offer advice to you OP. I can only commiserate.

[Anonymous]

Son who is also hypersexualized. Also Bipolar II. It’s a tough road as a parent to keep them safe.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she is bored, likes the rush. Can she have other exciting things in her life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have the same issues with my DD. Also about to begin high school. She has been talking to a counselor but the behavior has not improved. The counselor has not suggested am evaluation for ADHD or anything else.
It’s frustrating and frightening. Taking the phone away is not the answer. High school aged kids need to be able to socialize normally, they need to fit in with their peers and they need to take responsibility for their behavior. I wish I could offer advice to you OP. I can only commiserate.

I am sorry but this sounds insane. High school kids engaging in extremely dangerous and self-destructive behavior do not need phones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the same issues with my DD. Also about to begin high school. She has been talking to a counselor but the behavior has not improved. The counselor has not suggested am evaluation for ADHD or anything else.
It’s frustrating and frightening. Taking the phone away is not the answer. High school aged kids need to be able to socialize normally, they need to fit in with their peers and they need to take responsibility for their behavior. I wish I could offer advice to you OP. I can only commiserate.

I am sorry but this sounds insane. High school kids engaging in extremely dangerous and self-destructive behavior do not need phones.

+1

It sounds like your child doesn’t know how to social appropriately and therefore should be restricted so she can’t meet people on the internet.

[Anonymous]

For sure take away internet access. Allow her to earn it back by doing responsible things

[Anonymous]

OP, yes talk to your ped to recommend a psychologist and psychiatrist. Your DD told you she feels more sexually needy than her peers. It is not safe for her to have internet access until she gets proper treatment for whatever underlying condition she has - ADHD, Bipolar, etc. Tell her that as her parent, you have to keep her safe and her desire for risky behavior needs to be professionally evaluated and treated before she can safely have access to the internet. There are lots of predators out there who prey on vulnerable teens. Good luck, Op.

[Anonymous]

She was sending half nudes to people at 12?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here ..so we don’t even talk to a therapist first who is geared toward teen issues such as these?
Go directly to ped?

No. Pediatrician has NO training in mental health. You want a neuropsychologist or a child psychiatrist who can point you in the right decision.