Did your marriage ever recover from a dead Bedroom?

[Anonymous]

If so how long was your dead bedroom? How old were you? What helped?

[Anonymous]

After three children in four years ours went dead for about a year. Then my parents came and we took a long weekend away and we spent half of our waking hours in bed and after that we were fine and actually even better.

[Anonymous]

I got old. That closed the libido disparity, and it doesn't seem like that big of a deal anymore.

[Anonymous]

Dead for two years (age 34-36) then one time then dead for 6 more years until beginning divorce process. So, no, no recovery. Was not a good match.

[Anonymous]

First marriage recovered once just long enough to conceive 2nd child and one post-conception time, but I filed for divorce before 2nd child was even born. No sex was the symptom and not the disease.

I’ve been remarried now longer than my first marriage lasted. DH and I have had no difficulties or dry spells other than illness.

[Anonymous]

Yes, we were 35, I don't know what helped. Probably a combination of trauma bonding (not that this is something I'd recommend), DH backing the f*ck off (nothing like performance anxiety to kill the mood), and then romance novels.

[Anonymous]

It was more circumstantial. DH knew I was still attracted to him. We flirted a lot still had fun. But now that circumstances have changed we have hit our stride again at almost daily.

It was about a 4 year stretch of sex maybe once or twice year.

We never lost attraction or desire for each other, it was ongoing communication that got us through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was more circumstantial. DH knew I was still attracted to him. We flirted a lot still had fun. But now that circumstances have changed we have hit our stride again at almost daily.

It was about a 4 year stretch of sex maybe once or twice year.

We never lost attraction or desire for each other, it was ongoing communication that got us through.

Similar situation for us. Neither wanted to leave the relationship, we were in a stressed and not great place, but focused on regaining our original strong bond and adjusted for some things that had changed along the way that had been brushed off. We were still the same people as when we got married of course, but also not the same as when we got married. Bringing things up to date saved us.

[Anonymous]

Ours limped along throughout our kids teen years. Once everyone went to college we spent a year mostly being naked in our house. Brought back the magic! Another friend actually told me about the naked year and I didn't believe her. Lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ours limped along throughout our kids teen years. Once everyone went to college we spent a year mostly being naked in our house. Brought back the magic! Another friend actually told me about the naked year and I didn't believe her. Lol.

Haha, I love my child to death but miss those days of being able to do it when/where ever! Discretion in a small home was a big adjustment for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First marriage recovered once just long enough to conceive 2nd child and one post-conception time, but I filed for divorce before 2nd child was even born. No sex was the symptom and not the disease.

I’ve been remarried now longer than my first marriage lasted. DH and I have had no difficulties or dry spells other than illness.

Jesus Christ. Your poor kids. You couldn’t even make it a few months to give it a try. You had no business impregnating that woman if you were going to file before she gave birth. Trash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First marriage recovered once just long enough to conceive 2nd child and one post-conception time, but I filed for divorce before 2nd child was even born. No sex was the symptom and not the disease.

I’ve been remarried now longer than my first marriage lasted. DH and I have had no difficulties or dry spells other than illness.

Jesus Christ. Your poor kids. You couldn’t even make it a few months to give it a try. You had no business impregnating that woman if you were going to file before she gave birth. Trash.

Whoops sorry wrong gender but you’re nuts to have a child and not try. Same
Criticism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was more circumstantial. DH knew I was still attracted to him. We flirted a lot still had fun. But now that circumstances have changed we have hit our stride again at almost daily.

It was about a 4 year stretch of sex maybe once or twice year.

We never lost attraction or desire for each other, it was ongoing communication that got us through.

Similar situation for us. Neither wanted to leave the relationship, we were in a stressed and not great place, but focused on regaining our original strong bond and adjusted for some things that had changed along the way that had been brushed off. We were still the same people as when we got married of course, but also not the same as when we got married. Bringing things up to date saved us.

This is encouraging, thanks for sharing. We are in a similar boat, and then on top of that, we just don't have a house that has enough privacy for me to feel free to have sex on a whim. When we do, I'm in constant anxiety about our children hearing or walking in. It's almost enough incentive for us to move to a house with a better layout.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Divorced and now having fantastic sex with my boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Yep, basically sexless after the third kid was born for more than 6 years. Sex happened maybe once or twice a year and was not very fun at that. Once the youngest got more independent, we were able to focus on us again and things are back to twice a week for the last couple ,e of years. It was hard raising three kids with one that had a lot of developmental problems. We barely spoke to one another. It took a brave and truthful conversation on a snowy evening that we were heading toward divorce and we needed to either make it work or walk away. We both committed to making it work and we are ina better place than we were in almost a decade. It was A LOT of work though.