HELP PLEASE - almost 36 wks pregnant, been on bedrest for 1 month, and 3.5 yr old ACTING OUT

[Anonymous]

I have never seen temper tantrums like this in my life. I have been on bedrest for a month (will be released from bedrest early next week), my toddler wants nothing to do with me because he has spent SO MUCH time with DH, and we are having the most unbelievable temper tantrums (from toddler, not me :wink. He must be sensing baby's upcoming arrival... ? My goodness, this makes the terrible 2's look like a walk in the park. It's bad on a number of fronts - I have to get back in his "circle" and have him want to hang out with me (he wants Daddy for EVERYTHING), poor DH is desperate for a break, and toddler - I have NO IDEA how to get through to him. What can we do now so that we don't have tantrums like this when his sister arrives?

[cmkeough]

I can only sympathise with you. I was put on bed rest a little over a month ago (I'm now a day shy of 33 weeks) and a few weeks ago our almost 26 month old started to wake up during the night. It never dawned on me that it was due to my not playing as much of an active role in her daily/nightly care. A couple of nights ago I started to put DD to bed and that seems to have (knock on wood) helped the situation immensely.

I would try to spend as much with your son once your OB gives you the okay, and definitely after the new baby arrives. I'll cross my fingers for the both of us. :o)

Best of luck!
-CK

[Anonymous]

This is a hard situtation for you and for your 3.5 year old and your child is dealing with the stress like any 3.5 year will. So in a way this is almost acceptable if not understandable behaviour. But I can see why you would still want it to stop! Try to reduce his stress. Remind him that you love him and I would not be afraid to tell him that you miss playing with him, tucking him into bed, giving baths, etc. Explain that you have to rest to keep the baby healthy. Tell him little stories about when he was baby and needed extra help and extra time and how you did that for him too. The tantrums will get better but for now I would follow the old advice to ignore the tantrum but not the child. See if you can find something to do even though you are on bedrest, color together, puzzles, read to him. Play a game, tell him that you are lonely in your bed, could he bring you a stuffed animal to snuggle... he might even join you! Remind him that soon you will be able to get out of bed and plan ahead... go for ice cream together, or the library or whatever he wants. And if you are already doing all these things, then you are doing your best and you will need to roll with the punches.