Three-year-old’s first night in a toddler bed couldn’t have gone worse.

[Anonymous]

She didn’t fall asleep until after 11 crying every time I left the room and then woke up at two and four and wandered into her brothers room and woke him up which woke us up. I brought her back to her bed and she cried if I left. So I spent most of the night in her chair.

Any suggestions? It’s her same mattress, bedding, stuffed animals. There’s a night light. We can’t drop her nap because she’s in daycare.

[Anonymous]

What helped a bit for us was ditching the bed and just having a mattress on the floor. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anything that generally brings her comfort? One of mine likes tight, confined spaces so the toddler bed was way too open. Putting a dome tent over the top helped a lot. We filled the tent with favorite stuffed animals and she did much better. It still didn't prevent her from leaving the bed on occasion, but it was an improvement.

[Anonymous]

OP here. The mattress is just a couple inches off the floor - a good foot lower than her crib.

A canopy/enclosure thing might help. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Oh OP, this transition can really suck. It's fine for some kids, but awful for others. It's only night one so don't despair. But please "do as you mean to continue" here. If you don't plan on spending every night in her chair, then don't do it just to get through one night.

Bring her back to her room every time.

Instead of just leaving, tell her you'll be back to check on her, and do a series of regular checks so she trusts that you're coming back.

Hang in there...

[Anonymous]

How long does it usually take her to fall asleep? When ours moved to a bed from a crib, we did a longer bedtime routine for a time, with one of us sitting with her in bed. It usually only took 20 minutes or so for her to fall asleep, so we'd stay until she was asleep at first. Then as she got used to the bed, we started walking it back a bit until we could leave while she was awake. The key was committing to staying until she fell asleep at first, so that she could trust that we'd be there. That helped her relax each night until she got used to the new bed.

We also put a small bedside lamp in her room on a timer. If she wanted, she could stay up and "read" after we left (this was for nights when she was just having trouble settling). We'd leave her in bed with a few books and the light on, with the timer set for 30 minutes. Usually she'd fall asleep before the timer went off. But it helped with the transition of us leaving the room, and also gave her something calm to do in bed that helped her settle her body. We later introduced audio stories sometimes too. She is 4.5 now and will still request one or the other of those activities on nights where she's having trouble falling asleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long does it usually take her to fall asleep? When ours moved to a bed from a crib, we did a longer bedtime routine for a time, with one of us sitting with her in bed. It usually only took 20 minutes or so for her to fall asleep, so we'd stay until she was asleep at first. Then as she got used to the bed, we started walking it back a bit until we could leave while she was awake. The key was committing to staying until she fell asleep at first, so that she could trust that we'd be there. That helped her relax each night until she got used to the new bed.

We also put a small bedside lamp in her room on a timer. If she wanted, she could stay up and "read" after we left (this was for nights when she was just having trouble settling). We'd leave her in bed with a few books and the light on, with the timer set for 30 minutes. Usually she'd fall asleep before the timer went off. But it helped with the transition of us leaving the room, and also gave her something calm to do in bed that helped her settle her body. We later introduced audio stories sometimes too. She is 4.5 now and will still request one or the other of those activities on nights where she's having trouble falling asleep.

Question from NP - what are you using to play the audio stories?

[Anonymous]

Is she too big for her crib? Our DD stayed in her crib until she turned 4; we just took off the side so that it was like a daybed when she was 3, but because it was the same bed she was comfortable and never got out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long does it usually take her to fall asleep? When ours moved to a bed from a crib, we did a longer bedtime routine for a time, with one of us sitting with her in bed. It usually only took 20 minutes or so for her to fall asleep, so we'd stay until she was asleep at first. Then as she got used to the bed, we started walking it back a bit until we could leave while she was awake. The key was committing to staying until she fell asleep at first, so that she could trust that we'd be there. That helped her relax each night until she got used to the new bed.

We also put a small bedside lamp in her room on a timer. If she wanted, she could stay up and "read" after we left (this was for nights when she was just having trouble settling). We'd leave her in bed with a few books and the light on, with the timer set for 30 minutes. Usually she'd fall asleep before the timer went off. But it helped with the transition of us leaving the room, and also gave her something calm to do in bed that helped her settle her body. We later introduced audio stories sometimes too. She is 4.5 now and will still request one or the other of those activities on nights where she's having trouble falling asleep.

Question from NP - what are you using to play the audio stories?

We have an old iPhone without a SIM card that we use to play Spotify on a bluetooth speaker. We put the speaker in her room and then play from the phone out in the living room (her room is just down a short hall).

We originally just put the phone in there on her bedside table but we discovered she'd pick it up and look at the screen, even though it was just the lock screen. Apparently that desire starts young!

[Anonymous]

Our son did the same, and kept coming out of the room. DH would not engage just brought him back, put him in bed and left. Night 3, DH had to leave for a work trip, and I was 7 months pregnant with #2. At 11pm, I told DS I was locking the door, and did. Then I went to my room, called DH, and cried. By the time I was done crying, I realized DS wasn't crying either. He was fast asleep in his toddler bed. Next night I told him I would leave the door open (a crack) if he stayed in bed, but if he got up, I would have to lock it again. It was never an issue again.

Our son is now 20. I still remember that evening as if it were yesterday.

[Anonymous]

Mom of older kids here. Did she sleep well in the crib? If so, maybe just go back to that and try again in 6 months. When you’re in the thick of these years, these things seem important. Trust me, they’re not. There will be a point where she no longer wants to sleep in a crib. If that’s not the case yet, and if she sleeps well in her crib (thus allowing you to sleep well in your own bed) enjoy your sleep and let it go.

We tried a toddler bed with my oldest around 3, and it was a disaster. After a week of none of us sleeping and not being able to take it anymore, back to the crib he went. At around 4, he started asking for a regular bed, and when we gave it to him, he happily slept in it from day one. It was a regular bed with rails, not a toddler bed. We followed that same plan for my next two. They are all teens/tweens, and whether or not they switched to a bed at 2, 3, or 4 has made no difference in their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she too big for her crib? Our DD stayed in her crib until she turned 4; we just took off the side so that it was like a daybed when she was 3, but because it was the same bed she was comfortable and never got out.

Our kid stayed in the crib (with the bed in the room) when he could climb in and out easily. Until he broke it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long does it usually take her to fall asleep? When ours moved to a bed from a crib, we did a longer bedtime routine for a time, with one of us sitting with her in bed. It usually only took 20 minutes or so for her to fall asleep, so we'd stay until she was asleep at first. Then as she got used to the bed, we started walking it back a bit until we could leave while she was awake. The key was committing to staying until she fell asleep at first, so that she could trust that we'd be there. That helped her relax each night until she got used to the new bed.

We also put a small bedside lamp in her room on a timer. If she wanted, she could stay up and "read" after we left (this was for nights when she was just having trouble settling). We'd leave her in bed with a few books and the light on, with the timer set for 30 minutes. Usually she'd fall asleep before the timer went off. But it helped with the transition of us leaving the room, and also gave her something calm to do in bed that helped her settle her body. We later introduced audio stories sometimes too. She is 4.5 now and will still request one or the other of those activities on nights where she's having trouble falling asleep.

Question from NP - what are you using to play the audio stories?

We have an old iPhone without a SIM card that we use to play Spotify on a bluetooth speaker. We put the speaker in her room and then play from the phone out in the living room (her room is just down a short hall).

We originally just put the phone in there on her bedside table but we discovered she'd pick it up and look at the screen, even though it was just the lock screen. Apparently that desire starts young!

I don't want to derail this thread (as I am coming up on this soon too!) but I'm the PP who asked and just wanted to say thank you! This is an excellent idea I wouldn't have thought of, and I already have an old phone and a small Bluetooth speaker we never use.

[Anonymous]

Try to avoid abrupt transitions in the future. Transitions should be done gradually.

Start with naps first. Empathize- " I know this is a big change. Mommy and Daddy are here for you. It can be scary to try new things."

[Anonymous]

Why didn't you keep her in the crib until she was ready? I will never understand people who force their kids out of the crib before they are ready.