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Calling your in-laws mom and dad
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Anonymous
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Do you call your in-laws Mom and Dad or by their first names?
How soon after you were married did you do this? I still feel a bit uncomfortable doing this. We get along great and they are fantastic people but it just feels strange to me. I didn't have a Mom and Dad growing up so I'm guessing it's stemming from this. Just curious to see what others do and if the relationship with their in-laws plays a role in what they call them. |
Anonymous
| I call my inlaws by their first names and plan to continue doing so because they are not my mom and dad so why would I call them that? |
Anonymous
| NEVER!!!Especially my EX-MIL.She was terrible I couldnt imagine even calling her Mom for a second.....she surely doesnt deserve the word. |
Anonymous
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I call my MIL by her first name. But my parents always called my grandparents "Mum" and "Mother" respectively. IT worked for them.
When my uncle married my aunt, my uncle was uncomfortable saying "Mom" to my grandmother. My grandmother was uncomfortable with him calling her by her first name (old school, I guess.) They came up with a great compromise that has worked for 30 years--He calls her Mil- short for MIL. I love it. |
Anonymous
| I have great inlaws, but I wouldn't feel comfortable calling them mom and dad - beacause they aren't my mom and dad, they're my husband's parents. If it's something that works for you (and for your inlaws), I think that's great, but...it just feels wrong to me. |
Anonymous
This is what I do. |
Anonymous
| I do not call my MIL, mom. Before we had kids, I called her by her first name. After kids, I refer to her by her grandparent name which she loves. I also don't really address her directly. ie "tell grandma xyx about your day at school" She isn't interested in me anyway. |
Anonymous
| I call my MIL by her first name...but SIL (DH's brother's wife) calls her "mom". MIL doesn't seem to mind that I'm not comfortable calling her "mom". Even when we're all together and SIL is calling MIL "mom" and I'm calling her by her first name (so the difference is very obvious), nobody seems to care. It's a laid-back crew, luckily. |
Anonymous
Me too, exactly this. Love the story about Mil. Works for Fil, too! |
Anonymous
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Before Dh and I were engaged, I referred to ILs as Mr. and Mrs. X. After we were engaged, I was pretty sure they would prefer me to call them mom and dad, but I was not comfortable with that. I'm pretty direct, so the first time I saw them after our engagement, I said "now that we are going to be family, would it be ok with you if I call you X and Y (first names)". Done deal.
BIL is getting married in a few months. I'm curious to see how future SIL handles it. |
Anonymous
| First name basis, as well. More comfortable all the way around. We met as adults, and this is how I address most adults that I become close to. |
Anonymous
| This is a very cultural thing - in my culture, it would be unheard of not to use the words for mom and dad when referring to your in laws. I'm assimilated enough that it felt a little odd to me at first, but it is just the done thing, so I do it, and it doesn't feel strange anymore. Of course, my husband also calls my parents mom and dad (or our words for mom and dad). |
Anonymous
| Ugh, I do it, but I hate it. My MIL is a petulant child, and I have to fight back vomit everytime I call her Mom. And My FIL is okay, but I feel weird calling him Dad since my own father passed away years ago...so I actually try to not call him anything. It's more like a "hey...YOU" kinda thing with him. |
Anonymous
| No, my mother would probably disown me if I called my MIL "mom", not that I want to anyway. |
Anonymous
| We use first names. The closest I get to calling an IL mom is when I call my FIL a mother-f**ker. |