Fire our couples therapist and use someone else from the same office?

[Anonymous]

We previously saw a couples therapist for 6 months earlier this year. She not only did not help us, I feel she made things worse. We quit therapy a few months ago, but we really need help.

I’ve been trying to find someone else, but nobody accepts insurance.

I’m considering whether to use another therapist from the same office as our original therapist because we’ve already got all our insurance info sorted and they accept our insurance and that part of things worked very smoothly.

However, I feel bad like this reflects poorly on our prior therapist and/or like the new therapist will be biased somehow against us (like we are problem clients maybe?) because of us looking for someone else.

The original therapist didn’t do anything overtly wrong, she was just not a good fit and we made zero progress with her.

[Anonymous]

I would absolutely go with someone at the same office. That doesn't strike me as weird at all. If it comes up, you just say something like "it wasn't a great fit, we decided to try someone else." That's SUPER normal in the therapy world, and doesn't even necessarily reflect poorly on either the therapist or you two.

[Anonymous]

Just say she wasn't a good fit and you need to try someone else. You can even make a joke about how you and your husband got along well enough to finally agree on that.

[Anonymous]

It’s fine just say it wasn’t a great fit. But don’t bad mouth the therapist or the new one is likely to think you are difficult.

[Anonymous]

If you really want to avoid making your former therapist feel bad, you can always say your DH admitted to having a sex dream about her, and you felt it best to work with someone new.

[Anonymous]

Yes switch.

BUT, before doing so quickly assess whether you both were listening and doing the work, or if your spouse was lying nonstop to the therapist. If lying, then do individual therapy only.

Playing the He said/She said game with an hour therapy session - a common narcissist/abuser tactic in therapy and in court - will not result in anything but shutdown and frustration.

if Therapist 1 was truly not getting it or missing something, then abs switch couples counselors.