14 month old development -- should I be worried?

[Anonymous]

DS is 14 months old and only just started walking, which is not really my concern. What is my concern is his cognitive development. I was having lunch with a friend today who says that her daughter, who is the exact same age, will follow behind Mommy while she works in the yard with a toy rake and will pretend to rake along with Mommy. I haven't tried it, but I strongly suspect that if I gave my son a toy rake while I was working he would either chew on it or wander off to pat the leaves. She also said that when she asked a little boy who is also 14 months old if he was tired, he nodded his head "yes." My DS doesn't even know that nod means yes yet. He just points at something or grabs at it if he wants it. He would have no clue what I was talking about if I asked him if he was tired. We have been doing a music class and when free instrument time comes around, he just chews on the instrument or vaguely bangs it and shows no interest in what others are doing with their instruments, whereas other kids really mimic what they see around him.

i realize this is a FTM being totally paranoid, but is this normal behavior? is my kid falling behind based on what i've stated here, which is obviously not a lot to go on?

tia

[Anonymous]

at our 12 month appointment, our pediatrician told us that most babies don't start really mimicking until around 18 months, although some will certainly start earlier. Our 13 mo DS sounds similar to yours. He's not big on following directions (either because he doesn't understand or because he's not interested in doing what we want him to), doesn't have any words, and doesn't do much mimicry (although occasionally if we start clapping or something he'll join in). He has started pointing more recently and will lift up his arms when he wants to be picked up. Our ped wasn't worried and I'm not too worried either.

[Anonymous]

I have a feeling that my 11 month old son will be like yours, OP. He's got some things down, but verbally is nowhere near where he's "supposed" to be...and doesn't mimic us other than when we stick our tongue out because he thinks it's hilarious. He still sticks everything right in his mouth as well. I told myself if he was like this at 18 months, that's when I'll worry.

[Anonymous]

Our DD is almost 15 months and sounds a lot like yours. No words yet, and her walking is not very good either, so there's no way she'd follow me around in the yard with a rake doing what I do. The only thing I can think of that she does to mimic is to put a toy plastic telephone to her shoulder upside down (must look like what we do with a phone). I'm guessing that your kid does something that the other kids you referenced don't do - and you don't even notice it. Also, you are about to enter a period where things start to explode - it's only been in the last few weeks that my DD has started picking up new things - so I bet a month from now the world will look very different to you. If you are worried, talk to your ped, but try not to lose too much sleep over developmental stuff.

[Anonymous]

PP again - one thing I forgot to add - some of this is in the perception of the viewer. My nanny would SWEAR to you that my DD not only speaks words in Spanish, but multi-word sentences. I think some people are just easier critics of what counts developmentally and what doesn't. For example, if I asked my DD if she was tired and she nodded her head yes, I'd think to myself: what a cute coincidence. But I wouldn't assume that she knows how to nod her head in response to questions. In fact, now that I think about it, my DD's latest thing is constantly shaking her head no. About half the time, it could look like she's saying no if you ask her a question. But the other half of the time, it's completely out of context, so I'm assuming she just thinks it is fun.

[Anonymous]

please don't worry, OP! ignore what other babies are doing and just enjoy your DS!! i used to get stressed out that my 14 m.o. wasn't pointing out cows in books (or anything else), but he eventually did. he's so smart now that it kills me!! he's only 2.5, but i think he's going to discover a formula for cold fusion one day and your baby will, too!

[Anonymous]

OP here. thanks so much ladies. your responses and a follow-up conversation with my friend have really helped my paranoia levels

[Anonymous]

I agree that there's nothing to worry about. 14 months is still really young.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't worry at all. If at 18 months he's still not nodding or mimicking your behavior, bring it up to the doc. Some kids really are just slower at this - my nephew was a preemie and never really figured out how to play with toys on his own. His doctor wasn't concerned until after 18 months, when he was still just chewing with toys and not playing with them. They did some therapy with him where they showed him how to use toys appropriately and he figured it out really quickly. So I wouldn't worry at all.