School recommended therapy...what kind?

[Anonymous]

What kind of therapy/therapist do you look for for a 4 year old with issues dealing with emotions and also hitting at school when upset? He gets upset easily if things don't go his way, and it's a problem at home too. If his letters aren't done perfect, he gets upset too. Overall a happy child and very sweet and sensitive, but feel I need help and don't know where to go for help. I asked the school and they didn't seem to know.

So many choices--Psychologist, Psychotherapist, Licensed Social Worker. Any suggestions on next steps. I did ask my pediatrician, also not so helpful. I'm in NOVA if you have any suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Just from your description, it doesn't sound like something that requires therapy. Has your child always been intense?

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP. Doesn't sound like a candidate for therpay.
Would you say your child is a perfectionist?

[Anonymous]

I would take the child to be evaluated by a psychologist.

[Anonymous]

So your subject said the school recommended therapy but can't give you any ideas what type? It doesn't sound like anything unusual really but call ChildFind and ask for suggestions if you are concerned.

[Anonymous]

It's hard to provide advice without additional information. What you describe could be a behavioral issue that is best dealt with through better/consistent discipline, it could be an emotional issue that may be better addressed by a psychologist/LCSW, it could be a regulatory issue that may be better addressed through OT.......or it could be a combination of all of them all.

If I had to recommend a path to start out, it would be for you (without your child) to speak with a psychologist/LCSW who has experience with kids and emotional regulation/anxiety. After getting a case history, she could probably send you in the right direction. Or, you could post more information and the collective wisdom of the group could give more targeted advice.

[Anonymous]

Wow, what nice responses! OP here

He is a sweet really great kid nearly 5 but recently he started getting physical with kids who invaded his space at school. Some examples: he wanted to be alone on a playground equipment item and another kid kept playing too close and he got angry and pushed the kid, another time a girl touched the paper he was writing on and it tore a little and he pushed her.

If things aren't just so, or if he makes a mistake, he is also getting upset. This is not constant but the times it happens it is very disruptive. His teacher is nice--she accommodates his moods pretty nicely.

Personally, I feel like his behavior is in the range of normal (of course I talk to him often about not pushing/hitting) but my son has been pushed and hit in the past as well and I never made a big issue of it with the school.

They say that he has trouble with transitions as well like moving from playground time to indoors. He has been upset at going inside and actually took off his shoe and threw it at a wall twice. The teacher took the shoe and kept it until he apologized which I felt was good way to handle it.

He has been at this school and first six months were an adjustment and then was a long positive phase of growth in learning, social skills and maturity. Then suddenly in last 3 months all this regression. I want to be good mom and not ignore problem but in my heart don't feel that "therapy" will help. I actually role played with him what to do if another kid is bothering him and he starts to feel upset. He is so sweet and gets it but in the heat of the moment he can't control the impulse to push/shove/hit from time to time. Thanks Moms!

[Anonymous]

maybe they are thinking something along the lines of a social skills group? I know a few friends who swear by them.

[Anonymous]

I agree with 13:02. I think whether behavior is a problem that could be helped with therapy depends on how much it interferes with your child's life and development. Is he learning at school? Is he making friends? Is he comfortable playing with other kids? If you can answer yes to all the questions, then you can probably handle it yourself--you might want to go to a parenting seminar or read some books for ideas if you think it would help you. But if you think the behavior is getting in the way of his growth and development, then don't wait to get help because he'll probably get worse before he gets better.

If you decide to go the psychologist route I have heard that Family Compass in Reston is very good.

[Anonymous]

PP here. One more thing: I am inclined to trust the teachers. I don't think they make such suggestions lightly.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes regressions happen before big growth spurts. This behavior could be normal or there could be other things as suggested. I'd try social skills group at school first (maybe he just needs extra support right now), and if that didn't work, I would look to getting a neuropsych evaluation over the summer just to rule out any special needs.

[Anonymous]

Quite possibly a sensory issue? Just guessing. But your further details would lead me to at least talk to my pediatrician. Sounds like more than just discipline....nothing serious but something that may need to be addressed so that he learns to deal with transition and space issues.
I also like the idea of a social skills group.

Whatever you decide, don't wait. Nip it in the bud NOW. He is only 5, a great age to introduce new behavioral concepts.

[Anonymous]

I agree that you should look at sensory issues which could explain the issues with others invading his space, difficulty with transitions, and general trouble regulating emotions. An OT would be the person to see for this kind of evaluation.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks for all the input.

[Anonymous]

I agree, sounds sensory. Maybe a little anxiety. I would have an eval with an OT. Probably no big deal but can't hurt to have some extra help.