Appropriate to party with your young adult kid?

[Anonymous]

Do you drink in social situations with your 20-something kid? More specifically, get drunk with them/allow them to get drunk in your presence?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you drink in social situations with your 20-something kid? More specifically, get drunk with them/allow them to get drunk in your presence?

I don’t think you know what an adult is.

[Anonymous]

This is anedotal but my brother-in-law did this and his now adult kids are wild. They have no concept of boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Well, you can't really "allow" them to get drunk but you certainly shouldn't. I had a few occasions when I was with mine and there was partying going on, but I don't drink much and left the party early (he drank far too much until he was mid-20s and then started working much harder).

I can imagine there could be some event with adults of all ages where you and your 20-something are both attending and you happen to get drunk, but I gather that's not what you're talking about.

I'm thinking you have some other adult in mind when you ask this, but if so you know the answer.

[Anonymous]

Adults of the same family will usually have opportunities to drink together, obviously. But I never get drunk, and I would never countenance my adult children getting drunk if I can help it.

[Anonymous]

I have a problem with using the word "party" just to mean getting drunk. It's reductive and makes you sound like a frat boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I have a problem with using the word "party" just to mean getting drunk. It's reductive and makes you sound like a frat boy.

+1

That said, drinking in moderation while hanging out with your young adult children is fine, but no kid really wants to see their parents get drunk, and you should not encourage or facilitate them getting drunk in front of you.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I was at a party with extended family and many of the adults of my generation were drunk. One of my drunk relatives’ 20-something kid asked their parent if they minded if they got drunk. Parent said it was fine because they were drunk too. I find it distasteful that adults would be drinking in excess and even worse to tell your kid it’s okay.

[Anonymous]

Nope

[Anonymous]

I'm personally not cool with anyone getting drunk.

That said, I realize there's some things I can't control so while I wouldn't be encouraging my adult child to get drunk. I also realize that if they are over 21 I can't really stop it either.

[Anonymous]

We are not a family where people get drunk. Once you’re in college you get a wine glass at your place at the table. We don’t have fun by drinking though.

[Anonymous]

I think it would be fine to do, but only if it was a one-off thing.

[Anonymous]

"Party with"? Lol.

OP, it sounds as if you are missing the Alpha Phi house over summer vacation. Don't worry, you'll be back with your friends soon. Don't forget to top up dad's bottles with water after you party with your friends in the basement, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I was at a party with extended family and many of the adults of my generation were drunk. One of my drunk relatives’ 20-something kid asked their parent if they minded if they got drunk. Parent said it was fine because they were drunk too. I find it distasteful that adults would be drinking in excess and even worse to tell your kid it’s okay.

Define “in excess”. Is it like 4-5 drinks, or so many that they’re blackout drunk?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you drink in social situations with your 20-something kid? More specifically, get drunk with them/allow them to get drunk in your presence?

Have a drink or two is okay. Getting drunk (regardless who gets drunk) is not. What's wrong with you OP?