Middle School Antics
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Anonymous
| My family and I moved to the area last year. DS's first year in middle school and at Lakelands Park was virtual. He's attending summer school at the same place. DS hasn't spoken to any kids at school. Its the third day of summer school and DS is eating lunch by himself again. A boy walks up to DS, taps him on the shoulder, and tells him his friend wants to fight DS. DS calmly responds, "No," and goes back to eating. Now, keep in mind DS is about 5'8", and about 180lbs. So, not a scrawny kid by any means. Do middle school kids really have nothing better to do during lunch than challenge other kids to fights? What is this, some of kind of prison yard where kids need to exert dominance? Definitely not the type of behavior I have ever encountered in school and not the kind that I thought would happen at Lakelands. Its not exactly a school known for its fights. |
Anonymous
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Lakelands Park parent here...
I'm wondering if the kid who said that was pranking his friend? Like "im going to get this bigger guy mad at you? The school has a big mix of UMC and FARMS. There are fights but no more or less than other schools. It sounds odd that he would be serious about trying to fight your son (or anyone else). Without some trigger behind it so it seems more like a prank. If it wasn't a prank I would call the principal and tell her what happened and make sure the staff is aware so they can 1. Look out for him and 2. Get the trouble maker on their radar |
Anonymous
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Agree it sounds like a prank/dare and general silliness. My MS child gets challenged to different types of "contests" surprisingly often.
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Anonymous
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As the parent of a big son who is also quiet.. tell the principal.
Kids would try to start fights with my son because he was big but also quieter and less socially savvy. So when the explanations came around the other kids had a smooth song and dance ready while my kid didn't say much like "they have been antagonizing me all year. So he ended up in trouble rather than the ones who started it. |
Anonymous
| Middle school is when the big boys who are sweet or quiet get picked on. They often do not know how to fight if they have always been big. Whereas much smaller boys have been in self-defense mode for a few years. |
Anonymous
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Middle school has a higher percentage of jerks and aholes than ES and HS combined. They are awkward, figuring out social status, priorities, have raging hormones . . . among other things.
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Anonymous
| This is Op: Thanks for the replies! Clearly, I didn't know what to make of it. Most of the time, my introverted DS ignores kids like this and usually doesn't tell me until it happens again. Something about this situation struck him as odd, so he told DH and I. I have been debating with myself whether or not to mention it to the summer school lead teacher. I'll run that idea by DH and DS before I make a final decision. I'm an analyst, so I need all the data. As an aside, DS has never been in a fight, but he understands how to defend himself if need be. DH has spoken about kids challenging DS because of his size, which just seems ridiculous to me. |
Anonymous
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I think this sort of thing could be common in middle school. It’s not nice or okay but it’s why people say middle school is the worst. I remember my very quiet nice brother getting in fist fights in middle school. It could be any of the reasons people have given you.
My son just finished 7th and is average built, about 145 lbs. He said he’d randomly get pushed by kids he didn’t know in the hall asking to fight and cursing. He never fought and had some sort of snappy come back but did push back if they put his hands on him. I would never tell him to touch another but I see how a natural reaction is to push back if are pushed. He told me it’s common and he’s showing them no one can push him around. Sigh. It’s not your school but a well regarded public in Nova. |
Anonymous
| Middle school teacher here. You need to tell the summer school Principal asap so that the behavior is addressed. I don't know anything about the school your son is attending but I know that at my school we would shut down that behavior so fast those kids' heads would be spinning. It is not acceptable and the adults in charge need to know what is happening so that they can address it immediately. |
Anonymous
I’m 19:43 and also a teacher. If it happens again, definitely report it. But since this was a one time thing and maybe a prank do you think that’s the best idea? My teacher side would tell a parent to always report these incidents and we will shut it down because it’s not tolerated. That’s all true. My parent side would know this behavior is never going to be shut completely down. If it repeatedly happens it’s bullying. Otherwise maybe it’s not the best idea for the new kid to report the first thing that happened, that wasn’t actual a physical altercation. I’ve never reported the hall pushing and fight requests id my son. What would I say? A kid of average height with brown/black/blond hair wearing athletic clothes pushed my son in the hall and asked to fight him. My son pushed back, said no, and no fight occurred. An admin or counselor could make a general school statement about bullying but that wouldn’t stop that. |
Anonymous
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I asked my son who went to lakelands park about this and he thought it was really weird. He talked about friends slap fighting in the bathroom but not wirh kids they don't know.
Honestly I would tell the principal but asking not to address it with the offenders. I would bet your son doesn't want to raise an issue because at this age no one wants to be the narc. But I would want someone to be aware of the situation and keep a heads up |
Anonymous
First poster back. Being addressed doesn't mean administering harsh consequences or making a big to-do about it. It does mean that the principal and counselors have knowledge and can be on the look-out for behavior that does not support our school's value system. Things can escalate quickly and at my school we would want to know before we had a bullying situation rather than after. In OP's case it could be something as simple as reallocating teachers during lunch time so that more spots in the cafeteria are being monitored. The kids would not even know why there was a teacher in their orbit area but they would see that by our presence that the opportunity for more inappropriate interactions had passed. |
Anonymous
| Kind of surprised by this reaction. It would never occur to me to talk to the principal or teachers. It seems to clearly be a joke to me. |
Anonymous
| Another teacher here. Our rule of thumb is that if a kid says something then the kid wants you to do something. |
Anonymous
| The child need to tell a trusted adult at the school. |