If you had older kids and they stayed with someone close by

[Anonymous]

while you were in the hospital, when did you have them come home?

Before you and the baby came home, so they were waiting?

A few hours later once you were settled in?

Stop by for a visit, but spend a few more nights with Grandma?

[Anonymous]

WTF? Are you trying to make your older kids feel like second class citizens?

Our older kids (3 and 5) stayed home and their grandmother spent the night with them. They came to visit in the hospital and went home, and then we brought the baby home. My mom stayed with us for a while, but that's because I asked for the help. I would not have shipped my kids away for a few days, that's sending a bad message.

[Anonymous]

DS was 4.5 when he sister was born. The first night he stayed with a friend whose son was the same age. The second night, he stayed with my sister, and she came to the hospital with him the day I checked out. We all left together and went home. My sister helped us settle.

Do whatever works best for your family. There are many ways to do this right. Ignore the poster above who thinks you’re traumatizing kids because they spend the night at someone else’s house.

[Anonymous]

My friend had my older child waiting when we got home. He had flowers for me and a drawing for the baby. It was during covid so DH had to stay with me and not see our older child either. It was lovely.

And one very helpful hint I got and used was to have DH carry the baby in in the seat so I had both arms to greet and hug my older child. DH and I both focused on the older child and waited for him to want to see the baby.

[Anonymous]

DC1 was looked after first by a neighbor, because our friends who were supposed to look after him were out of town (premature birth of DC2). Then I had complications, needed to stay in hospital, and DC2 was looked after by our friends who came back as soon as they heard I had gone into labor. So he spent a total of perhaps 4 nights away from home. He was brought to visit the baby and me in hospital, of course. We all came back home as soon as we could! I hated that hospital stay and was desperate to leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTF? Are you trying to make your older kids feel like second class citizens?

Our older kids (3 and 5) stayed home and their grandmother spent the night with them. They came to visit in the hospital and went home, and then we brought the baby home. My mom stayed with us for a while, but that's because I asked for the help. I would not have shipped my kids away for a few days, that's sending a bad message.

You’re nuts. DS was 4.5 and was THRILLED to go to his grandparents house for the week (they have a pool in their complex, a cat, and a ball made of rubber bands). DS repeatedly asked me when the baby was coming so he could go to grandparents house.

Yes, OP, they kept him for a couple days after but only because I had a scheduled c-section and knew the recovery/pain those first few days since DS was a c-section too.

[Anonymous]

We watched DS' best friend (he was 5). Brought him to the hospital a couple hours after to meet his sibling. Left him there for about 4ish hours then dad took him out for dinner and dropped him off at our house for the night. Next day, similar set up. The last day, we brought him to his house and decorated with some welcome home sign and balloons (and to stock them up on some meals). Then he and DS were waiting outside with signs when they arrived from the hospital. We met the baby, helped them get settled in, and then DS and I left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTF? Are you trying to make your older kids feel like second class citizens?

I was actually going for third class. Are you saying my plan won't work?

-- OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We watched DS' best friend (he was 5). Brought him to the hospital a couple hours after to meet his sibling. Left him there for about 4ish hours then dad took him out for dinner and dropped him off at our house for the night. Next day, similar set up. The last day, we brought him to his house and decorated with some welcome home sign and balloons (and to stock them up on some meals). Then he and DS were waiting outside with signs when they arrived from the hospital. We met the baby, helped them get settled in, and then DS and I left.

You are a great friend! I aspire to be this helpful to my friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTF? Are you trying to make your older kids feel like second class citizens?

Our older kids (3 and 5) stayed home and their grandmother spent the night with them. They came to visit in the hospital and went home, and then we brought the baby home. My mom stayed with us for a while, but that's because I asked for the help. I would not have shipped my kids away for a few days, that's sending a bad message.

Shipping them to grandma sends a bad message? Wow. We are lucky to have amazing grandparents but they are not local. I would love to be able to send my two kids for a few nights if I have a third. I would relish time with a newborn and they would love to be spoiled at their grandparents’ home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTF? Are you trying to make your older kids feel like second class citizens?

Our older kids (3 and 5) stayed home and their grandmother spent the night with them. They came to visit in the hospital and went home, and then we brought the baby home. My mom stayed with us for a while, but that's because I asked for the help. I would not have shipped my kids away for a few days, that's sending a bad message.

Strange response PP. Do your kids have a bad relationship with their grandparents or something?

OP, kids were with my sister all day but slept at home. DH slept at home as well. Sister would bring the kids to the hospital to see the baby and I everyday. When it was time to leave sister went to our house with kids and kids “helped” set up the bassinet (made them feel useful). They greeted us when we arrived. My sister left a few hours later.,

[Anonymous]

I just delivered a week ago and did this. My daughter stayed with my sister and Father who live nearby. My sister has her own four month old so she couldn’t come stay at our house but it was not a big deal at all. We prepared her and made it sound very exciting. She couldn’t wait to go have a sleepover at her aunts house! We dropped her off in the morning to for my induction and she stayed there two nights. My sister took her to summer camp and did all the usual things and we had no problem. She did start to miss me on the third day and that’s when my husband picked her up and they went back home. My sister came to my house for an hour the following day when my husband picked me up and we brought the baby home. Overall it was not a big deal at all especially since she knew my sister very well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF? Are you trying to make your older kids feel like second class citizens?

Our older kids (3 and 5) stayed home and their grandmother spent the night with them. They came to visit in the hospital and went home, and then we brought the baby home. My mom stayed with us for a while, but that's because I asked for the help. I would not have shipped my kids away for a few days, that's sending a bad message.

You’re nuts. DS was 4.5 and was THRILLED to go to his grandparents house for the week (they have a pool in their complex, a cat, and a ball made of rubber bands). DS repeatedly asked me when the baby was coming so he could go to grandparents house.

Yes, OP, they kept him for a couple days after but only because I had a scheduled c-section and knew the recovery/pain those first few days since DS was a c-section too.

I’m still smiling at the massive appeal to a 4 yr old of the ball made of rubber bands!

[Anonymous]

DS went to a close friends house the day I went into labor. He stayed over night and DH picked him up the next day. They came to see me and #2. I went home later that day.

[Anonymous]

I just had a baby. Sent bigger kids to grandparents. I hugely, HUGELY regret not leaving them a couple extra days. 2.5 yr old had giant 4 a.m. meltdowns on the first and second nights but does great with grandparents. I should have given myself more time to physically recover from birth before bringing them back.