When is a parent view as a PIA complainer and when not

[Anonymous]

My 2 year old son has been attending a Montessori school in Mo.Co. From the start, we observed several red flags but wanted to give the school a chance. For instance, not age appropriate books in the room, crappy toys (plastic and non educational), crafty and teacher directed "art" activities and more. Recently we had our first conference and the teacher wasn't prepared for some questions that were very relevant like, how is our son doing with potty training. The teacher told us she wasn't the one doing that and that she was going to get back to us with that information. wasn't she supposed to get all information/observations from the other assistants and teachers before meeting with us? while convinced that the education of our son doesn't have a price, we do mind paying more than 15k a year if certain things are not met. I believe I do have a case but would like to see if other parents out there see that maybe I am wrong. I have been looking for other schools and it seems impossible to be accepted for this coming school year.

[Anonymous]

OK, you are a PIA complainer. Unless you have training in the area of child development and are trained in educating a class of kids, you are not the person who should be judging whether the books in the room are age appropriate. Not all toys have to be educational and non plastic to be of value to the education and development of a 2 year old. No teacher will ever be prepared for every single question you ask and informing you that he/she will get back to you is perfectly reasonable. At age 2, all art is crafty and teacher directed.

[Anonymous]

And shouldn't you be the one telling the teacher how YOUR child is doing with potty training?
Schools are now potty training children?
Why are you leaving your child at a place with "crappy" toys, and age inappropriate books?
My goodness, get a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Completely disagree with PP. The red flags indicate that your preschool might not be truly Montessori, but just a daycare program. Check to see if they are accredited by AMI, or another recognized Montessori organization.

Any parent should be aware of what is an age-appropriate book, PP! DH (looking over my shoulder) reminds me that Montessori classes are mixed-aged, and therefore some books might be too mature for your 2 year-old.

A real Montessori school should have the bare minimum of plastic objects, but instead have wooden Montessori materials. Hard to achieve unless you have a committed administration.

The teacher conference is when all the information is supposed to be ready for you, except insignificant details - and for a 2 year-old, potty-training seems to me rather important!

We pay $10K for a 9am-3pm Montessori in Bethesda, and have been impressed by their professionalism. The program does start with potty-trained three year olds (mixed-aged classes 3 to 6), which makes me wonder whether your child really follows a Montessori program.

[Anonymous]

PP, do you mind sharing the name of your Montessori school?
thanks.

[Anonymous]

The Bethesda Montessori School, on Wilson and Clarendon.

[Anonymous]

Thank you. I'll look into that school.
OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Completely disagree with PP. The red flags indicate that your preschool might not be truly Montessori, but just a daycare program. Check to see if they are accredited by AMI, or another recognized Montessori organization.

Any parent should be aware of what is an age-appropriate book, PP! DH (looking over my shoulder) reminds me that Montessori classes are mixed-aged, and therefore some books might be too mature for your 2 year-old.

A real Montessori school should have the bare minimum of plastic objects, but instead have wooden Montessori materials. Hard to achieve unless you have a committed administration.

The teacher conference is when all the information is supposed to be ready for you, except insignificant details - and for a 2 year-old, potty-training seems to me rather important!

We pay $10K for a 9am-3pm Montessori in Bethesda, and have been impressed by their professionalism. The program does start with potty-trained three year olds (mixed-aged classes 3 to 6), which makes me wonder whether your child really follows a Montessori program.

Are things only educational if they appear to be crafted by Santa's elves? I can understand an environmental or aesthetic preference, but seriously, how does the material diminish its educational value?

[Anonymous]

From the perspective of an educator...it's not always about the toys. Rather it's more about how the teacher facilitates learning in an age appropriate manner. I think you should ask questions during a conference and wait for the teacher to follow up. Education is a process and partnership.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From the perspective of an educator...it's not always about the toys. Rather it's more about how the teacher facilitates learning in an age appropriate manner. I think you should ask questions during a conference and wait for the teacher to follow up. Education is a process and partnership.

i agree w/this for a non-montessori program but the "toys"/instruments in a mont classroom are very deliberate and important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK, you are a PIA complainer. Unless you have training in the area of child development and are trained in educating a class of kids, you are not the person who should be judging whether the books in the room are age appropriate. Not all toys have to be educational and non plastic to be of value to the education and development of a 2 year old. No teacher will ever be prepared for every single question you ask and informing you that he/she will get back to you is perfectly reasonable. At age 2, all art is crafty and teacher directed.

[quote=And shouldn't you be the one telling the teacher how YOUR child is doing with potty training?
Schools are now potty training children?
Why are you leaving your child at a place with "crappy" toys, and age inappropriate books?
My goodness, get a nanny.]

respectfully DISAGREE. you are totally NOT a PIA complainer! montessori is way different than a non-mont program and the directresses are also different than non-mont teachers. and being a mom gives you PLENTY of justification on having an opinion on the books that are in your child's classroom. jesus. sure being proactive might come off as being a little PIA'ish but who cares! it's your child and if you have concerns you should bring them up w/the program. as the pp said, the toys in a montessori classroom are not just toys. the items in the room are educational in some form or another. i also think it's more than reasonable to expect that a teacher be prepared for any parent q. that being said, i also think it's normal to have to ask the aid for further info on something if they are in charge of that area. again, it's different in a montessori program. the directresses are supposed to be very in-tuned w/your child. that's why it can be so $$$.

as for the other poster re:potty training, programs that take preschool aged kids have to help w/potty training. if not then the program will have a policy about your kiddo needing to be potty trained before they start there. there is also a thing called crappy toys and inappropriate books, especially in a mont program.

the thing about montessori programs is that you have to find the really legit, strict montessori programs if you want a real montessori. otherwise you have these programs..like the one you;re describing..that fall short. you are also paying about TWICE as much as some of the best mont programs i know of. it's the same w/any preschool, some are terrific and some are...not.

good luck!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From the perspective of an educator...it's not always about the toys. Rather it's more about how the teacher facilitates learning in an age appropriate manner. I think you should ask questions during a conference and wait for the teacher to follow up. Education is a process and partnership.

I'm surprised that, if you are an "educator," you would make this comment in connection with a Montessori school. While I don't necessarily expect that as an "educator" you would be fluent in the Montessori method, I would have expected that you would have at least recognized that you don't know enough about it to make a comment such as this and would have refrained from commenting instead.

In any case, as another commenter pointed out, the materials (not toys) in a Montessori classroom are very important. OP, I think you have reason to be concerned and are hardly being a PIA.

[Anonymous]

PIA. You should know how your child is doing with potty training, don't you spend any time with him?

[Anonymous]

If you are relying on the school to potty train, you should be in regular contact with them about that separate from his academic progress. I worked together with my daycare to potty train my DD (and they helped a lot), but there was a regular exchange of information, not a daily conversation but there was a daily chart as many children were going through this at the time.

A montessori program is more traditionally starts at 3 with children that are potty trained or well on their way so I would not be surprised if some such programs only took potty trained children. My DD is now in a small montessori program and, while I do not have daily conversations about academics, I still ask how her day went and get feedback on behavior. If potty training were an issue (she is long past that), that would be something I would speak to the teachers about on a regular basis, not wait for a parent teacher conference.

As to plastic crappy toys, that should not be part of the montessori curriculum. Are they used in a before or aftercare program separate from the "school" part of the day? If not, I would be concerned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PIA. You should know how your child is doing with potty training, don't you spend any time with him?

you're so rude. it's quite common to ask how your kid is doing w/potty training when your kid is NOT W/YOU.