Air Travel w Young Toddler

[Anonymous]

Just started flying with my 13-month-old and have a few trips planned this summer to see family. Just returned from #1 and it was a Disaster - capital D, I have no idea how parents do this. She’s at the stage where she just wants to move so will not and cannot sit still, and is so frustrated the entire flight. Plus has a terrible time napping not in a dark room in a crib so screamed until she screamed herself to sleep then woke up 20 minutes later. I do know kids cry on planes, obviously, but am I doing something wrong in normal life? Is this indicative of behavioral problems (we don’t watch tv at home but definitely tried to use it and couldn’t hold her attention for more than 30 seconds - no toys, paper bags, etc would cut it either). I’m not one of those “my baby runs our lives” kind of person but I’m half tempted to cancel all upcoming trips. Would appreciate tips and perspective. She’s typically been a calm baby but within the last month has definitely turned up the whining.

Also know I’ll get the “SHE’S ONE CALM DOWN” responses and while I respect individual parenting styles frankly this behavior isn’t gonna fly long-term at my house so either let me know it’s a phase that I do need to wait out or I need some helpful advice (I’ve read all of the “what to bring on flights” advice - I need what do I do when my child throws a three-hour-fit advice).

[Anonymous]

In my experience, this is a phase. Travel was a HUGE challenge between about 10mo and 2yo.
Sorry. Probably not what you wanted to hear.

[Anonymous]

Cancel future trips till older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just started flying with my 13-month-old and have a few trips planned this summer to see family. Just returned from #1 and it was a Disaster - capital D, I have no idea how parents do this. She’s at the stage where she just wants to move so will not and cannot sit still, and is so frustrated the entire flight. Plus has a terrible time napping not in a dark room in a crib so screamed until she screamed herself to sleep then woke up 20 minutes later. I do know kids cry on planes, obviously, but am I doing something wrong in normal life? Is this indicative of behavioral problems (we don’t watch tv at home but definitely tried to use it and couldn’t hold her attention for more than 30 seconds - no toys, paper bags, etc would cut it either). I’m not one of those “my baby runs our lives” kind of person but I’m half tempted to cancel all upcoming trips. Would appreciate tips and perspective. She’s typically been a calm baby but within the last month has definitely turned up the whining.

Also know I’ll get the “SHE’S ONE CALM DOWN” responses and while I respect individual parenting styles frankly this behavior isn’t gonna fly long-term at my house so either let me know it’s a phase that I do need to wait out or I need some helpful advice (I’ve read all of the “what to bring on flights” advice - I need what do I do when my child throws a three-hour-fit advice).

Did you bring new toys? Lots of snacks? Did she have her own seat on the plane?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just started flying with my 13-month-old and have a few trips planned this summer to see family. Just returned from #1 and it was a Disaster - capital D, I have no idea how parents do this. She’s at the stage where she just wants to move so will not and cannot sit still, and is so frustrated the entire flight. Plus has a terrible time napping not in a dark room in a crib so screamed until she screamed herself to sleep then woke up 20 minutes later. I do know kids cry on planes, obviously, but am I doing something wrong in normal life? Is this indicative of behavioral problems (we don’t watch tv at home but definitely tried to use it and couldn’t hold her attention for more than 30 seconds - no toys, paper bags, etc would cut it either). I’m not one of those “my baby runs our lives” kind of person but I’m half tempted to cancel all upcoming trips. Would appreciate tips and perspective. She’s typically been a calm baby but within the last month has definitely turned up the whining.

Also know I’ll get the “SHE’S ONE CALM DOWN” responses and while I respect individual parenting styles frankly this behavior isn’t gonna fly long-term at my house so either let me know it’s a phase that I do need to wait out or I need some helpful advice (I’ve read all of the “what to bring on flights” advice - I need what do I do when my child throws a three-hour-fit advice).

Did you bring new toys? Lots of snacks? Did she have her own seat on the plane?

For my kid, new toys and snacks would have made that worse.

What worked, was treating the airplane like a car. He sat in the same carseat, facing the boring back of the seat like when he was in the car. He had the same 1 or 2 familiar toys, and the same little tub of cheerios and sippy of water that he had in the car. I kept the window shade down. I don't think he had any sense that we were traveling. He seemed kind of shocked when the door opened and we walked out and it was different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience, this is a phase. Travel was a HUGE challenge between about 10mo and 2yo.
Sorry. Probably not what you wanted to hear.

Honestly this is fine if it is a phase, and helpful knowing other ppl just don’t fly with kids that age? Because I definitely felt like “that family” and don’t remember being on too many flights with a kid that whiny. We definitely got all the looks and I felt terrible. So I feel more perplexed than anything if there is a larger issue at play.

Had tons of snacks and new toys, not her own seat, though I don’t know how that would’ve helped because sitting still no matter where it was just wasn’t gonna happen.

[Anonymous]

Oh it’s definitely the worst. We took DC#1 to Europe at 18mos - 9 hours of hell. I would do it again, but differently (get his own seat, strap into a car seat).

With DC#2 (14mos) what worked was strapping him to me in the Ergo (inward facing, infant style). Made him nap and kept him happy for the much shorter 3 hour trip.

You either buck up or skip trips for a couple of years. Just know it’s a few hours of your life that may suck but the tradeoff often makes it worth it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh it’s definitely the worst. We took DC#1 to Europe at 18mos - 9 hours of hell. I would do it again, but differently (get his own seat, strap into a car seat).

With DC#2 (14mos) what worked was strapping him to me in the Ergo (inward facing, infant style). Made him nap and kept him happy for the much shorter 3 hour trip.

You either buck up or skip trips for a couple of years. Just know it’s a few hours of your life that may suck but the tradeoff often makes it worth it!

For those that say put them in a car seat - what car seat do you have? I do not think ours would fit - we have the Sirona S.

We were entertaining planning an international trip with her next summer and are now like NO WAY! Truly I’m dumbfounded and in awe of you parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh it’s definitely the worst. We took DC#1 to Europe at 18mos - 9 hours of hell. I would do it again, but differently (get his own seat, strap into a car seat).

With DC#2 (14mos) what worked was strapping him to me in the Ergo (inward facing, infant style). Made him nap and kept him happy for the much shorter 3 hour trip.

You either buck up or skip trips for a couple of years. Just know it’s a few hours of your life that may suck but the tradeoff often makes it worth it!

For those that say put them in a car seat - what car seat do you have? I do not think ours would fit - we have the Sirona S.

We were entertaining planning an international trip with her next summer and are now like NO WAY! Truly I’m dumbfounded and in awe of you parents.

We have the Grace slim fit and it fits on the plane. We also made sure to get the bulkhead so he could move around at play on the floor a bit (5 hr flight). It still sucked, I think it probably just sucks no matter what until they’re older.

[Anonymous]

We go to Europe and Asia to see our parents. Our toddler son liked to run up and down one aisle of the two-aisle plane, and our toddler daughter liked to stand on my lap and look at the people behind me. No crying except during landing and take-off because of ear pressure. No particular issues at our destinations either, with the caveat that my daughter woke up several times a night every night when she was little, whether she was home or away from home - so we were our "usual" sleep-deprived selves. Even now, 10 years later, she still wakes up very early, but at least doesn't bother us.

I just want you to know, OP, that when I hear a little one crying non-stop on a flight, I have nothing but compassion for the baby and family. I know you're doing everything you can and it's not your fault. Some kids are like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
We go to Europe and Asia to see our parents. Our toddler son liked to run up and down one aisle of the two-aisle plane, and our toddler daughter liked to stand on my lap and look at the people behind me. No crying except during landing and take-off because of ear pressure. No particular issues at our destinations either, with the caveat that my daughter woke up several times a night every night when she was little, whether she was home or away from home - so we were our "usual" sleep-deprived selves. Even now, 10 years later, she still wakes up very early, but at least doesn't bother us.

I just want you to know, OP, that when I hear a little one crying non-stop on a flight, I have nothing but compassion for the baby and family. I know you're doing everything you can and it's not your fault. Some kids are like that.

This is obnoxious, don't do this.

[Anonymous]

This is a phase. I’ve traveled alone with both of my kids many times throughout infant, toddlerhood etc. 12-18months is honestly probably the most difficult. 18mo-2yrs they can play more with you and engage in short things and are more motivated by the snacks. After 2 screens tend to hold their attention and then it gets much easier!
If your kid is used to a carrier, bring that. My toddler will relax if I even just set her in it, she’s so used to being carried facing in it is comforting for her on planes. (She’s 20 months now- we flew twice recently).

[Anonymous]

It's the worst age for air travel. I would still do it, but yeah, it's hell. I used to spend hours walking the aisle and showing my son things to distract him in the back of the plane. Once I had to fly alone with a baby and a 2 year old. The baby had a poop explosion that leaked on my lap right after take off. I had to literally drag my screaming 2yo by the arm to the toilet while holding the baby so I could change her and clean up. Of course they don't just fall asleep but have to scream bloody murder before they finally pass out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We go to Europe and Asia to see our parents. Our toddler son liked to run up and down one aisle of the two-aisle plane, and our toddler daughter liked to stand on my lap and look at the people behind me. No crying except during landing and take-off because of ear pressure. No particular issues at our destinations either, with the caveat that my daughter woke up several times a night every night when she was little, whether she was home or away from home - so we were our "usual" sleep-deprived selves. Even now, 10 years later, she still wakes up very early, but at least doesn't bother us.

I just want you to know, OP, that when I hear a little one crying non-stop on a flight, I have nothing but compassion for the baby and family. I know you're doing everything you can and it's not your fault. Some kids are like that.

This is obnoxious, don't do this.

This is even worse

and our toddler daughter liked to stand on my lap and look at the people behind me

[Anonymous]

OP I felt like this with my first DS. It was hell.

Things change dramatically when they are able to be distracted by video. Until then, it's rough.

How long are your trips? Maybe cancel anything > 3 hours?

Some general tips:

1) Get them their own seat.
2) Bring a bag of new things. Bring out one at a time.
3) Feed her a snack very slowly by putting one cheerio in your hand and letting her pry your hand open to eat it. (I got this tip on DCUM and it was by far the best DCUM tip I've ever seen. Worked like a charm.)
4) Let her play with a couple plastic glasses filled with ice.

Or don't, you know? Just cancel and you'll be fine next year. And you'll appreciate how easy it will be since you've been through this hell!