Sleep-trained 10 month old: how many times do you have to sleep train?

[Anonymous]

A cold, teething, and a vacation have brought us back to square one with DC. We’re on our fifth round of sleep-training to get DC to sleep at night. Sucks!!!

[Anonymous]

Just a hunch that you’re not doing sleep-training right if this is your 5th time. Sleep training isn’t a “week then done” thing - it’s how they sleep, period. Regardless of sick, teething, on vacation. If you’re not following your routine to some degree - which yes is easily done during all those things - then you’re not being fair to your child. He/she has no idea when it’s ok to wake up in the night! Sometimes it’s ok and sometimes it’s not? 5 times?! Cruel.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, I'm so sorry, that is terrible.

My kid took a while to sleep train - we started right at 4 months, and while night sleep was great after like 4 days, he was still crying through the occasional nap in week two and even three. Ugh, it was so awful. But since then, we haven't had any issues, beyond a brief stage where he could crawl backwards only and kept getting his feet stuck between the crib bars and crying and we'd have to go in and move him, but he'd go right back to sleep, and as soon as he learned to go forward, that stopped being an issue. He's 17 months now. We've also been lucky that due to covid precautions, he hasn't really been sick. One short runny nose, that's it. So VERY possible we just got lucky.

But, is it possible that you're too quick to throw his usual routine out the window? We are fanatical about setting him up for success on vacations (BYOBlackout curtains, noise machine, the works, and nap times/bedtimes are sacrosanct), when he's teething, even if he's a bit fussy, usually we can just do the regular routine and he'll still put himself to sleep (might take a bit longer). If he's really a mess, we'll give him a little Tylenol, but still do the routine, and he conks right out on his own. A really bad cold, sure, I would let him sleep on me if he was truly miserable and unable to put himself to sleep, but I'd let him try by himself first each time, and five really, really bad colds by 10 months seems extreme.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just a hunch that you’re not doing sleep-training right if this is your 5th time. Sleep training isn’t a “week then done” thing - it’s how they sleep, period. Regardless of sick, teething, on vacation. If you’re not following your routine to some degree - which yes is easily done during all those things - then you’re not being fair to your child. He/she has no idea when it’s ok to wake up in the night! Sometimes it’s ok and sometimes it’s not? 5 times?! Cruel.

NP here. So you don’t go in and get your baby when you know she’s crying because she’s sick or in pain? You just let her cry alone for hours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, I'm so sorry, that is terrible.

My kid took a while to sleep train - we started right at 4 months, and while night sleep was great after like 4 days, he was still crying through the occasional nap in week two and even three. Ugh, it was so awful. But since then, we haven't had any issues, beyond a brief stage where he could crawl backwards only and kept getting his feet stuck between the crib bars and crying and we'd have to go in and move him, but he'd go right back to sleep, and as soon as he learned to go forward, that stopped being an issue. He's 17 months now. We've also been lucky that due to covid precautions, he hasn't really been sick. One short runny nose, that's it. So VERY possible we just got lucky.

But, is it possible that you're too quick to throw his usual routine out the window? We are fanatical about setting him up for success on vacations (BYOBlackout curtains, noise machine, the works, and nap times/bedtimes are sacrosanct), when he's teething, even if he's a bit fussy, usually we can just do the regular routine and he'll still put himself to sleep (might take a bit longer). If he's really a mess, we'll give him a little Tylenol, but still do the routine, and he conks right out on his own. A really bad cold, sure, I would let him sleep on me if he was truly miserable and unable to put himself to sleep, but I'd let him try by himself first each time, and five really, really bad colds by 10 months seems extreme.

OP here. It was just one bad cold. The other two times were teething and vacation (where we absolutely kept to her routine and brought the sound machine and blackout curtains) but she was in a travel crib. She goes to sleep on her own easily and happily. But go to her once at 2AM and it starts all over again.

[Anonymous]

Once plus 100% consistency (for both kids)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, I'm so sorry, that is terrible.

My kid took a while to sleep train - we started right at 4 months, and while night sleep was great after like 4 days, he was still crying through the occasional nap in week two and even three. Ugh, it was so awful. But since then, we haven't had any issues, beyond a brief stage where he could crawl backwards only and kept getting his feet stuck between the crib bars and crying and we'd have to go in and move him, but he'd go right back to sleep, and as soon as he learned to go forward, that stopped being an issue. He's 17 months now. We've also been lucky that due to covid precautions, he hasn't really been sick. One short runny nose, that's it. So VERY possible we just got lucky.

But, is it possible that you're too quick to throw his usual routine out the window? We are fanatical about setting him up for success on vacations (BYOBlackout curtains, noise machine, the works, and nap times/bedtimes are sacrosanct), when he's teething, even if he's a bit fussy, usually we can just do the regular routine and he'll still put himself to sleep (might take a bit longer). If he's really a mess, we'll give him a little Tylenol, but still do the routine, and he conks right out on his own. A really bad cold, sure, I would let him sleep on me if he was truly miserable and unable to put himself to sleep, but I'd let him try by himself first each time, and five really, really bad colds by 10 months seems extreme.

OP here. It was just one bad cold. The other two times were teething and vacation (where we absolutely kept to her routine and brought the sound machine and blackout curtains) but she was in a travel crib. She goes to sleep on her own easily and happily. But go to her once at 2AM and it starts all over again.

PP here. Sounds like you've got one that's just really easy to throw off the sleeping routine. That definitely sucks. But now that you know that - I'd be really, really reluctant to go in. If she needs to cry for 30 minutes (or even an hour) in her travel crib the first night of vacation, then that's what's got to happen. If it's teething, you can go in, give Tylenol, and be out again in 1 minute. Much better than having to start from square one again.

Sorry you're dealing with this

[Anonymous]

Vacation was a killer for our 9MO as well— even though she’d slept successfully in the travel crib in the past it was just too much new. We even let her sleep with us one morning, which we’ve never done, but driving sleep deprived is more dangerous than an out of sorts baby.

Routines are followed regardless of illness or vacation but I do not let her cry if she’s sick or teething— she has no self-soothing mechanisms that overcome the inability to breath and I think it’s wrong to just listen to her stuffy nose cry. That said I don’t throw everything out the window— we follow the same back-to-bed method at 2am after snot-sucking and Tylenol that we do at bedtime, we rarely need to spend more than 15 minutes awake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just a hunch that you’re not doing sleep-training right if this is your 5th time. Sleep training isn’t a “week then done” thing - it’s how they sleep, period. Regardless of sick, teething, on vacation. If you’re not following your routine to some degree - which yes is easily done during all those things - then you’re not being fair to your child. He/she has no idea when it’s ok to wake up in the night! Sometimes it’s ok and sometimes it’s not? 5 times?! Cruel.

NP here. So you don’t go in and get your baby when you know she’s crying because she’s sick or in pain? You just let her cry alone for hours?

My children don’t cry for hours - none of them have since the one week we sleep trained. They know how to soothe themselves and go back to sleep. If they’re in pain we’ll give some Tylenol usually before bedtime and they’re fine through the night. If your children are waking up in the night crying for hours they’re not sleep trained.

[Anonymous]

I think some kids are easy to sleep train and some aren't.

My daughter was easy to sleep train, and interruptions didn't really make a difference - maybe after a trip she would be confused and cry for 10-15 mins one night, but that was it. Teething never really bothered her either.

My son is totally different and sounds like your baby. After awhile, I just decided he is not the right personality for sleep training. It was a nightmare to sleep train him and then something would happen (usually teeth) and like you said, we'd be back at square one. I just didn't have the stomach to sleep train him over and and over. He finally started sleeping through the night at 21 months.... but even then he had a blip recently where he was waking up everyday at 4:30 am. I know it's terrible in DCUM terms, but we just go with it. We're still alive.