how long for kid to hold onto comfort item at daycare

[Anonymous]

My 2 year old is doing awesome this week starting daycare the first time ever, and he is no longer crying anymore at drop off or pick up. He is there for 8-9 hours straight from monday, just nap is still not going well but overall he is doing good.

One thing is that I am told by teacher that he holds onto his comfort item, teddy bear 24/7 during the entire day at daycare, from eating, playing at playground, playground inside classroom to drawing etc. He does not need that comfort item at home till his bedtime in his bedroom.
Because his hand is always busy holding onto that teddy bear, so it does limit his interaction/participation with other kids/teacher and it also thus steal his attention because he plays with it. He is my first child, when is the appropriate time to phase out that teddy bear from his hands at daycare, except afternoon naptime? I highly doubt that once they get rid of his teddy bear, he may cry and whine more at the daycare. Right now, I am told that he does not cry at all full day at daycare.

[Anonymous]

I'd let him decide and not take it away from him. He'll figure it out that he can play blocks better with two hands or play with the other kids.

[Anonymous]

Do not get rid of or limit time with the comfort item truly, that is a terrible idea from a developmental and practical standpoint.

[Anonymous]

It's only been a few days. If that is helping him cope, let him keep it. Over time, he'll use it less and less if you just leave it alone. Turning it into a battle is a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

They may transition next week to nap time only once he is adjusted next week.

[Anonymous]

They will know how to gradually get it down to nap time.

[Anonymous]

This is OP, I will let teachers decide when the right timing is.

[Anonymous]

My DD had been away from daycare due to COVID, and returned a few months after turning 2. She brought her comfort item pretty consistently for a few months, and then on her own started leaving it at home. Occasionally she still wants to put it in her cubby, but I suggest just leaving it in the car (we've left it in our cubby overnight a few times...) Two seemed to be an exceptionally clingy age for bringing her stuffed animals everywhere.

[Anonymous]

I taught 18m-2 year olds for almost 15 years. It sounds like he is doing great. Honestly, better than most who start for the first time at this age.

His teachers definitely know how to get this done, and it will be a gradual process. They know that if they force the separation of him and his lovey, his anxiety about that is going to prevent him from turning his attention to the social interaction and play that his hands would be free to participate in. I am sure they have their own system that works great, but I can tell you what I did in my classroom to give you an idea of how it might work.

I would look for opportunities for when he would naturally put it down, like if he would set it on the table next to him during snack, lunch, or painting). I would start to ask if he wanted to put it in his bag instead of on the table so it doesn’t get messy. I would do this by bringing his bag to the table and leaving it there, so he still knew it was close and accessible. He might not want to, but he might, and most kids would eventually be willing after encouragement over a week or so. Once they are willing to put the lovey in the bag, I would try to increase the number of events that the lovey goes in the bag for (outside playtime, diapers/potty, etc) until he was comfortable without it. Some kids would go through a period of having the lovey in their backpack on their back, but their hands were still free to play, and that was okay. Some kids eventually left it at home, some never left it at home because they needed it for a successful separation, but they had no issue leaving it in their bag except for naptime. It’s a process that can take days to months, but it happens for every kid.

[Anonymous]

Does the daycare have a problem with him holding on to it? I wouldn’t sweat it to be honest. Sounds like he’s found a good coping mechanism. He’ll probably stop holding it when he gets more comfortable. I definitely wouldn’t take it away from him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They will know how to gradually get it down to nap time.

+1