Saving names for siblings?

[Anonymous]

What's your opinion on this when choosing a name for your kid do you have to consider your siblings?

Example my sister gave her son our father's name as amiddle name. I'm currently pregnant and am using his middle name as my son's middle name and considering our grandfather's name as a first name. My sister who doesn't have kids yet but has been trying accused us of taking all the family names and acting like she's not going to be a mom.

Is this a thing? Do people really plan names to save some for siblings.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like 1) your sister has issues and 2) you guys need to be a little less boring with your name choices.

Ridiculous to “save” names for hypothetical children. What if your sister only has girls?

And cousins can have the same middle names, or one can have a name for the middle and another have the same name for a first name.

[Anonymous]

I had a cousin that claimed a name since she was a child. No joke. I don't like the name, so I didn't have a beef with it, but it was a little cray cray. In my husband's family one family member stole a name that had been set aside for their second child. So now their are two of those kids with the same name in the family.

Your sister is a nut job because there is no guarantee she will have kids and kids of a certain gender. Not your problem.

[Anonymous]

I think there's no calling dibs, but my immature (and still single and childless at 33) brother literally gave me the silent treatment when I was pregnant with #1 until I promised I wouldn't name him after my grandfather. My husband didn't love the name so I gave in to keep the peace but it was obnoxious. My mom tried to use "well, brother has ADHD and I could make an argument he's on the spectrum" and I got even madder at her for that one. Not an excuse for being a selfish jerk.

Anyway, not a thing in theory, but every family is weird in its own way.

[Anonymous]

It’s common for people in the same family to have same or similar names, in part due to honoring family members. Let her know that she can use the names also (and be sincere about that if she names a future kid the same name as yours). I’ve got uncles, brothers and cousins with the same name and this is the case on both sides. It’s fine. No one is ever confused.

[Anonymous]

Your sister is probably overreacting this way because she’s trying to have kids. She’s probably lashing out from fear that she won’t be able to have them. Do what you want about the name, but try to be sympathetic. It’s got to be hard to see your sister have kids if you are having trouble, and naming her kid the name you are hoping to use for yours must feel like salt on the wound. This is not your fault; I am just urging you to be empathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your sister is probably overreacting this way because she’s trying to have kids. She’s probably lashing out from fear that she won’t be able to have them. Do what you want about the name, but try to be sympathetic. It’s got to be hard to see your sister have kids if you are having trouble, and naming her kid the name you are hoping to use for yours must feel like salt on the wound. This is not your fault; I am just urging you to be empathetic.

+1 you aren't wrong to use the name but have a little empathy for your sister who is struggling to get pregnant while her sisters aren't. This is about her fears of not becoming a mom do she's unfairly lashing out. She's not nuts or a jerk just scared and not in a good emort space right now.

Use the name and let her know t it will be cool if all 3 cousins in the futt share your dad's name in some way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your sister is probably overreacting this way because she’s trying to have kids. She’s probably lashing out from fear that she won’t be able to have them. Do what you want about the name, but try to be sympathetic. It’s got to be hard to see your sister have kids if you are having trouble, and naming her kid the name you are hoping to use for yours must feel like salt on the wound. This is not your fault; I am just urging you to be empathetic.

+1 you aren't wrong to use the name but have a little empathy for your sister who is struggling to get pregnant while her sisters aren't. This is about her fears of not becoming a mom do she's unfairly lashing out. She's not nuts or a jerk just scared and not in a good emort space right now.

Use the name and let her know t it will be cool if all 3 cousins in the futt share your dad's name in some way.

Ummm, where exactly did OP say that her sister was “struggling to get pregnant?” That’s a huge leap to make based on the information posted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your sister is probably overreacting this way because she’s trying to have kids. She’s probably lashing out from fear that she won’t be able to have them. Do what you want about the name, but try to be sympathetic. It’s got to be hard to see your sister have kids if you are having trouble, and naming her kid the name you are hoping to use for yours must feel like salt on the wound. This is not your fault; I am just urging you to be empathetic.

+1 you aren't wrong to use the name but have a little empathy for your sister who is struggling to get pregnant while her sisters aren't. This is about her fears of not becoming a mom do she's unfairly lashing out. She's not nuts or a jerk just scared and not in a good emort space right now.

Use the name and let her know t it will be cool if all 3 cousins in the futt share your dad's name in some way.

Ummm, where exactly did OP say that her sister was “struggling to get pregnant?” That’s a huge leap to make based on the information posted.

NP. It’s a leap, but not huge one. If people know you are “try“, it sure ain’t happening fast. And her sensitivity he’s also a clue that she may be going through something tough. OP is absolutely not in the wrong, but if she can muster empathy for her sister then it may strengthen rather than weaken the relationship.

OP, I would say “I think it would be lovely if our kids share part of their names! It will be a great cousin bond. I look forward to seeing our little Roberts playing together someday.” or something like that.

[Anonymous]

*trying

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your sister is probably overreacting this way because she’s trying to have kids. She’s probably lashing out from fear that she won’t be able to have them. Do what you want about the name, but try to be sympathetic. It’s got to be hard to see your sister have kids if you are having trouble, and naming her kid the name you are hoping to use for yours must feel like salt on the wound. This is not your fault; I am just urging you to be empathetic.

+1 you aren't wrong to use the name but have a little empathy for your sister who is struggling to get pregnant while her sisters aren't. This is about her fears of not becoming a mom do she's unfairly lashing out. She's not nuts or a jerk just scared and not in a good emort space right now.

Use the name and let her know t it will be cool if all 3 cousins in the futt share your dad's name in some way.

Ummm, where exactly did OP say that her sister was “struggling to get pregnant?” That’s a huge leap to make based on the information posted.

Re-read OP. I missed it the first time too.

[Anonymous]

She’s hurting because she’s been trying and hasn’t been successful. She’s feeling really left out. She’s being completely unreasonable because these names have only been used as middle names, for God’s sake. They’re still “available” for her to use. Even so, try to cut her some slack. Unless she’s only been “trying” for 2-3 months. Then she’s just obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

Ridiculous. My brother and I both named our respective daughters after our grandfather, Jack, who was born and raised in Savannah, Georgia . My daughter is Georgia. His is Jacqueline. We’re both happy and the cousins like that they have this extra connection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ridiculous. My brother and I both named our respective daughters after our grandfather, Jack, who was born and raised in Savannah, Georgia . My daughter is Georgia. His is Jacqueline. We’re both happy and the cousins like that they have this extra connection.

Saying your daughter is named for your grandfather is a big stretch. What if he’s been from New Jersey?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ridiculous. My brother and I both named our respective daughters after our grandfather, Jack, who was born and raised in Savannah, Georgia . My daughter is Georgia. His is Jacqueline. We’re both happy and the cousins like that they have this extra connection.

Saying your daughter is named for your grandfather is a big stretch. What if he’s been from New Jersey?

But he isn't. And anyway, even if he was, Parsippany would be a fun name to have.