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I’d love rave reviews or horror stories about how first year students are welcomed and supported when they start. It seems like there’s a huge range in how much orientation time they get. Also, which schools handle roommate finding well? The Facebook self-matching that happens at a lot schools seems daunting and other schools claim random matching is best.
Thoughts? |
| The vast majority of students pick their own roommates these days. Everyone my kids know who has gone random at a host of private and public universities in the past few years has ended up with an international student, which can be the best match ever or can be difficult. |
| OP, the kids have a sixth sense for this. If you spend time trying to figure out how it can all go well, you will drive yourself crazy. Besides not being helpful to your teen. This is their turf. They navigate in ways we don't even understand. As it should be. |
| Your. child is going to choose a college based on orientation and roommate matching? Good luck with that. |
Are any teenagers on Facebook? |
I spoke to a housing director who said the roommates that are based upon the school's system (a survey of habits/preferences, around things like sleep and neatness) tend to work out better than when the students choose based upon social media posts (which show things like fashion, food and sports teams). Makes sense really. when you think about it. I like orientations that are funded for all students (rather than only those who can afford it). They come before the older kids, break into groups based upon their tastes (like around an activity), and spend quality time together. The school also sneaks in some tips for succeeding in college. That way, there are a few familiar faces for the freshmen on the first day of classes. Juniata College had something like that (pre-Covid), so the kids could choose between activities like camping, art museums, volunteer work, rock climbing, ....there were like 12 choices. Really fun, and led by older students. |
| My DD is going to a school that does all the roommate matching according to a survey about sleep habits, etc. No one can pick a roommate in advance. Orientation has been fine. They lay everything out in the portal and have plenty of zoom calls for students and parents to ask questions. |
There are only a handful of schools that don’t allow roommate selection |
Yes, they match students who go random based on their survey results…but you have to consider that the only students left in this pool are the other students that have chosen to go random. All other students that could have been a great match have already selected a roommate on their own, so typically the kids that go random are the kids who are too shy to reach out to someone in the Facebook or Instagram groups or the kids who just don’t care who they end up with. It’s a brutal process to find a roommate. It’s like trying to “date” people your own age via Snapchat and FaceTime until one sticks, but in the experience of my three kids and what they have heard from friends, it’s worth it. |
Of course it's their turf. I was wondering because on the last two tours we took they said they offer self-match for roommates (and mentioned Facebook Groups specifically) or letting the school do it. My DS would make the choice but info is helpful. The orientation question is because on these two tours we learned one barely does anything and the first years start at the same time but the other school offers several pre-orientation summer choices. The tour guide touted a community service one that she said helped her meet people but I could see my DS not choosing "extra" orientations. |
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This does describe how students FEEL, but it does not mean the choices should be based upon what they use as criteria.
It is why students are afraid to use the school's process (which is not random, it is based upon matching important compatibility criteria for living together which is different than being friends). This is likely why some schools don't allow students to choose. |
That part sounds awful. So glad we didn't have to do that back in the day! |
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The surveys that housing offices make are pretty useless. Does it really matter what kind of music they listen to? Everyone has headphones. Does it matter what time they go to bed and wake up? It’s a brief moment of noise, not the end of the world. College kids don’t hang out in their room. All that really matters is if they are considerate or if they’re an a$$. Two considerate people can live together just fine no matter how different they are.
The stuff that matters is the stuff people aren’t going to admit to on a survey. Are you ok if they try to disable the smoke alarm so they can smoke weed in the room? What if they have a girl/ guy in their bed every time you come home? How do you feel about your room being packed full of 20 people for a pregame? Or on the flip side, do they go home every weekend or have their parents come visit every weekend? Are they planning on eating green peppers for breakfast at 6:30 am every day? These are things you find out when you get to know someone vs when you let a computer match you. |
| At a minimum, suggest your kids use the school's survey as a basis for the discussion with the kids they are considering as roommates. It can be help raise awkward topics with a stranger like whether they are comfortable having overnight visitors of the opposite sex. |
I’m 50/50 on it. My freshman year roommate was sleeping with half the basketball team. |