Freaking Out about Coordinating Everything for DELIVERY

[Anonymous]

With DC#1, all I had to worry about was DH and I getting to the hospital. I'm really freaked out about delivery of #2 now. We have a 3 year old toddler and he is in preschool full-time and we don't have a regular babysitter. The only family we have in the area is about 45 minutes away from us. I'm so freaked out that I'll go into labor in the middle of the night and have to wake our poor toddler up and drag him in the car and then have family meet us at the hospital. I am seriously worried about him being ok and not worrying about mommy and daddy being gone and don't know how to coordinate this well. Also wondered - well, what if I go into labor at 3 pm. We usually pick him up at 5. How do people do this without much family in the area?!

[Anonymous]

Do you have friends (with or without kids) nearby that can care for the child while you await your family? A nanny of a friend?

[Anonymous]

This is OP again. Nope - friends in the area do not have children and so when we do hang out, it's usually for "girl's night" and DC doesn't really know any of them that well. I hate the idea of leaving him with someone he doesn't really know and waking up with Mommy/Daddy gone. I guess we'll just figure it out. I should have thought about this 9 months ago and had him get to know at least one of the friends - but they spend their weekends relaxing and going out to eat - not taking care of a 3 year old, so I'm not too sure I would have been able to convince them to hang out with him too often anyway. I guess being the first to have a child amongst friends isn't always ideal. Wish I were smack in the middle of a group of friends who all had children his age!

[Anonymous]

How was your last labor? I always labored at home for as long as I could before going to the hospital, which gave plenty of time to have family come, etc.

[Anonymous]

My water broke in the middle of the night - out of the blue - a few days before 37 weeks. Also noticed blood when I wiped, etc so OB said to hurry and get to the hospital ASAP. So there was no waiting around at home. It was a long day. The water broke at about 3:30 in the morning and we got to the hospital at about 4:45. They of course put me on pitocin and then was in major pain so had an epidural (probably way too early). Baby didn't arrive until just before 5 pm that evening. I think that definitely plays on my mind for baby #2. I remember asking my OB if I could shower and he didn't even want me to shower before going to the hospital. I did however - it was the quickest shower I have ever taken...

[Anonymous]

Are you considering hiring a doula for your birth? I am a doula and had a client who was in a situation similar to yours. We agreed that if her mother in law (who was driving from 45 minutes away) couldn't get there in time to watch her son, I'd stay with her son until her mother in law arrived, then meet my client and her husband at the hospital. It turned out that her mother in law arrived in plenty of time, since her labor started out slowly, and so it all worked out fine. I met her son several times during the course of our working together (he and my daughter played together) so we felt he would be comfortable with me being with him at least for a short time until his grandma arrived. If you are considering hiring a doula anyway, this might be an added bonus if the doula is willing to work out a similar arrangement. It worked well for my client and I think gave her peace of mind that I'd be there either supporting her, or being with her son so that she could go to the hospital. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

when are you due? maybe now is the time to find an occasional sitter who you can use as backup for this? have DC get to know that person? Also - with family 45 minutes away I think you'll be able to manage - just make sure they know they are on call. All of our relatives require a plane flight to get here!

[Anonymous]

Are there any parents at the preschool that you'd feel comfortable with him staying with? Or neighbors with kids?

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound like it would be that difficult logistically if you have family only 45 minutes away. If you can call them when labor starts, have them come over, be ready to pick your son up from daycare, or whatever the case may be depending on time of day. That should be enough time to figure out a plan and get you guys out the door when needed.

Our back-up family (also 45 mins to 1 hr away) was on-call last week while our close-by family was traveling. I think you'll be fine and try not to overthink it! No idea how your last labor was but mine was slow and long so I know chances are it will work out. Also, my water broke in the middle of the night and my OB actually told me to go back to sleep and take a shower so I don't think everyone has to rush to the hospital (maybe if you have GBS or some other compelling reason).

[Anonymous]

OP, I don't know what your personal health situation is (i.e. GBS, etc), but your OB's reaction to water breaking and bloody show sound a bit extreme. My water broke at the onset of labor as well, and my OB recommended I try to get some sleep before coming to the hospital. We ended up laboring at home for about 4 hours before heading out. I arrived at the hospital at 6+ cm dilated and close to transition. I can't imagine too many situations where you wouldn't have an hour or so to get someone over to your house to help watch your son.

[Anonymous]

Thank you PPs. Yes, I think his reaction was a bit overboard. I wasn't thrilled with the practice for a number of reasons, so for #2, we have switched practices. I did test positive for GBS, so that could explain why he reacted the way he did (wanted me on IV antibiotics before baby made his arrival). I'm hoping for this one that my water doesn't break in the middle of the night and that labor starts in the morning AFTER DS is in preschool for the day. Keep your fingers crossed

[Anonymous]

I was freaking out too. My mom lives 45 minutes away and I was worried about being alone with DD and things going fast. It turned out I had nothing to worry about. My contractions started with DH was home at 1 in the afternoon, but didn't get steady or hard until 6, we called my mom, she got there after DD went to bed, and we didn't even leave for the hospital until 2:30am.

The best thing we did was prepare our DD in advance. She's not even 2.5 and got it, so your 3 yr old should definitely understand...we told her that when it was time for the baby to come, mommy and daddy would go to the hospital and her grandma would come and be with her. We told her this almost every day for the last month. So when she woke up in the morning and her grandma was there and we weren't...she knew what to expect and was totally fine, even though she has a history of not being great without both DH and I there...it worked out! Whatever happens, happens, you know no one is going to leave your kid alone, even if a daycare provider has to help you out for an hour or two.

Good luck!