Early period signs, or period?

[Anonymous]

DD is 11 (on the cusp of 12). Was doing laundry and saw that she had what appeared to be light stains in her underwear. It looks to be blood though I guess it could be other things to but no odor. There was no other staining on clothes and she hasn't mentioned anything to me. I got my period very late (15) so was not expecting this for her so early. Do you all know if spotting in lead up to period is common? Is that a sign that it is on the horizon? Or is this an actual period. It has been such a long time and I honestly don't remember. Tried to google but I went into a rabbit hole. I've had period talks with her and told her to be ready but she still did not say anything to me. TIA for any info!

[Anonymous]

She likely didn’t notice if it was just a few spots.

It could be spotting before the first period. It might be the first. Talk to the ped.

[Anonymous]

Just let her be. Don't call the doctor. Jesus some of you are sound so completely overbearing. I would die if my mother had acted like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just let her be. Don't call the doctor. Jesus some of you are sound so completely overbearing. I would die if my mother had acted like this.

I disagree, and your post is unnecessarily harsh. Most mothers would want to know if their young DD had started menstruation, and it’s not a reflection of being overbearing. OP isn’t grilling her DD, and not every child is “mortified.” My own DD texted me at work when she noticed a similar stain in her underwear, and when I got home, I took a look and could see it was indeed brown blood. No big deal.

OP, when I had my first period I actually thought I was having accidents, because it was brown, and I didn’t expect that, ha - but when it happened repeatedly I finally got the nerve to talk to my mother about it and she told me it was my period. It’s possible your DD hasn’t even noticed it, especially if she’s looking for red blood.

You can certainly call the doc for peace of mind, but I don’t think it’s necessary. Just make sure your DD has a supply of pads/liners etc. for when the time comes, and that she knows where to find them. It wouldn’t hurt for her to carry one in her purse or backpack, in case it happens at school. Fortunately, it’s often pretty light in the beginning (though my DD was heavy from the start).

[Anonymous]

Just to add - I got my period at 13 but my DD was 11 years, 3 months. So it doesn’t always follow the mother’s experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just let her be. Don't call the doctor. Jesus some of you are sound so completely overbearing. I would die if my mother had acted like this.

I disagree, and your post is unnecessarily harsh. Most mothers would want to know if their young DD had started menstruation, and it’s not a reflection of being overbearing. OP isn’t grilling her DD, and not every child is “mortified.” My own DD texted me at work when she noticed a similar stain in her underwear, and when I got home, I took a look and could see it was indeed brown blood. No big deal.

OP, when I had my first period I actually thought I was having accidents, because it was brown, and I didn’t expect that, ha - but when it happened repeatedly I finally got the nerve to talk to my mother about it and she told me it was my period. It’s possible your DD hasn’t even noticed it, especially if she’s looking for red blood.

You can certainly call the doc for peace of mind, but I don’t think it’s necessary. Just make sure your DD has a supply of pads/liners etc. for when the time comes, and that she knows where to find them. It wouldn’t hurt for her to carry one in her purse or backpack, in case it happens at school. Fortunately, it’s often pretty light in the beginning (though my DD was heavy from the start).

Im sure my mom never sniffed my panties to try and figure it out. Just stock the bathroom with supplies and stop over thinking it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to add - I got my period at 13 but my DD was 11 years, 3 months. So it doesn’t always follow the mother’s experience.

+1
I got mine at 14 and DD1 was almost 11 and DD2 was 10.5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just let her be. Don't call the doctor. Jesus some of you are sound so completely overbearing. I would die if my mother had acted like this.

I disagree, and your post is unnecessarily harsh. Most mothers would want to know if their young DD had started menstruation, and it’s not a reflection of being overbearing. OP isn’t grilling her DD, and not every child is “mortified.” My own DD texted me at work when she noticed a similar stain in her underwear, and when I got home, I took a look and could see it was indeed brown blood. No big deal.

OP, when I had my first period I actually thought I was having accidents, because it was brown, and I didn’t expect that, ha - but when it happened repeatedly I finally got the nerve to talk to my mother about it and she told me it was my period. It’s possible your DD hasn’t even noticed it, especially if she’s looking for red blood.

You can certainly call the doc for peace of mind, but I don’t think it’s necessary. Just make sure your DD has a supply of pads/liners etc. for when the time comes, and that she knows where to find them. It wouldn’t hurt for her to carry one in her purse or backpack, in case it happens at school. Fortunately, it’s often pretty light in the beginning (though my DD was heavy from the start).

Im sure my mom never sniffed my panties to try and figure it out. Just stock the bathroom with supplies and stop over thinking it.

Agree you are overthinking. Have you talked to her about periods? Got supplies? Showed her where you keep things and how to use them? Does she know a first period can sometimes just be some light brown spotting? It is possible she thinks a period is bright red blood and a lot of it. Just educate her and prepare her but leave what she what she wants to talk about with you or share with you up to her.

[Anonymous]

I got mine at 14 and my early 11 year old just got hers. She didn't realize it because she thought she would be "dripping blood" not seeing brown stains in her underwear. I talked to her about it and she had a lot of questions that she didn't ask when I've spoken to her about it in the past.

I would speak to your daughter about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just let her be. Don't call the doctor. Jesus some of you are sound so completely overbearing. I would die if my mother had acted like this.

Agree and disagree.

Don't call the doctor for this, but a parent not talking to her child after her first period? It's something to be celebrated. I can't imagine NOT sharing the moment with my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just let her be. Don't call the doctor. Jesus some of you are sound so completely overbearing. I would die if my mother had acted like this.

Agree and disagree.

Don't call the doctor for this, but a parent not talking to her child after her first period? It's something to be celebrated. I can't imagine NOT sharing the moment with my child.

So then the OP needs to ask her daughter. Why talk to the doctor first, what would they even have to say about it since its not a medical issue. If they are as close and comfortable about talking about these things it shouldn't be a big deal.

[Anonymous]

I would just say "hey I noticed some spots, it may get heavier. As a reminder, here's the supplies. If blood gets on your underwear, let me know, or just spray some stain remover on it before you put it in the basket. I need to use cold water on that, so it will help me with any laundry."

Make it fact based, not emotion based.

[Anonymous]

11:02 again.

I'd also tell her about advil is she feels crampy! Once I started I was very regular and it was HEAVY and I had terrible cramps. I will never forget sitting in 6th grade class and wanting to die because of cramps, but I didn't really know how to describe what was happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:11:02 again.

I'd also tell her about advil is she feels crampy! Once I started I was very regular and it was HEAVY and I had terrible cramps. I will never forget sitting in 6th grade class and wanting to die because of cramps, but I didn't really know how to describe what was happening.

+1 in my Algebra class, taking a test.. I will never forget having cramps and breaking out in a cold sweat. My arm was folded with my head in my hand while taking the test, and sweat was dripping from the arm crease. I used to have really bad diarrhea with my cramps, too. And the school was poor, and the toilets overflowd. Yes, lovely.

.. I did ace the test, though. I was a late bloomer.

My mother never talked to me about this stuff. I make sure I talk to DD a lot about this even if she hasn't started her period yet (late bloomer, like her parents). I want her to feel comfortable talking to me about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just let her be. Don't call the doctor. Jesus some of you are sound so completely overbearing. I would die if my mother had acted like this.

Agree and disagree.

Don't call the doctor for this, but a parent not talking to her child after her first period? It's something to be celebrated. I can't imagine NOT sharing the moment with my child.

Disagree about celebrating. It's a fact of life.