Teen boot camp life 101

[Anonymous]

We have done an awful job raising teens who are ready to adult. Ages almost 18 and 16. They are unbelievable slobs, can’t keep track of things (yes both have ADHD), kea e good, dishes, dirty clothes around etc. we need a boot camp of sorts this Summer. Advice? Yea, I know it’s all my fault, no need to reiterate that.

[Anonymous]

Take stuff away until they do what you want.

[Anonymous]

Right there with you. DS 16 1/2 with probable ADHD. I'm pretty certain I have it to, but high achieving girl in the 80's would never have been diagnosed with it - but I have all the classic symptoms. I don't think I've ever made a bed unless someone was coming over. DH is an only child on all sides of the family who never had to do anything for himself. No help for you, but sympathies and following.

[Anonymous]

catherine newman's "how to be a person" might be a good place to start.

[Anonymous]

We have the book as well - please frame it as an opportunity for growth as opposed to a failure.

[Anonymous]

https://skilltrekker.com/

Get the comprehensive package, then pick and choose what you think are most important for the 18yo, or let them pick which are most important. For the 16yo, I'd spend the summer doing lower age group skills, then have them in the highest age group for the next two years, and I'd keep up with it through the school year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have done an awful job raising teens who are ready to adult. Ages almost 18 and 16. They are unbelievable slobs, can’t keep track of things (yes both have ADHD), kea e good, dishes, dirty clothes around etc. we need a boot camp of sorts this Summer. Advice? Yea, I know it’s all my fault, no need to reiterate that.

I would start by creating a list of daily chores.

Rule: No electronics until the boxes are checked for the day.

You'll be amazed how fast they get their chores done!

I have two boys 13 and 16, it works for us.

[Anonymous]

I think for OP (and me) this goes beyond making a list of chores and telling them to do it. Some kids need to be shown how to do everything. That is where the skilltrek comes in.

[Anonymous]

If you're in the DC area, pre-pandemic there was somebody offering life-skills classes in the summer, but I can't remember offhand where or whom. You might search in the Camps forum and see if you can find it.

[Anonymous]

I have vowed over the years that I would teach my kid to cook, but it has never happened. He doesn't care about food, will go hungry happily. But I want him to be able to make himself more than a PB&J or frozen egg rolls.

So I agreed with him that I'd get a Blue Apron subscription and he'd cook it once a week. I will do it with him for a few times to scaffold him. Then he'll do once a week from here on out. It leaves out the planning/shopping/deciding what to make piece, but I can live with that if he learns how to sauté a chicken breast.

[Anonymous]

establish a routine to get things done each day and enforce
it will be painful for a few weeks but it will help

[Anonymous]

You can hire an executive functioning coach for summer...

http://laureneckert.com/