Would you continue contacting this friend?

[Anonymous]

We became good friends with my child’s friend in preschool. We met them 8-9 years ago and our boys were best friends. The boys ended up at different elementary schools but we put the kids in the same sports and camps. The mom and I used to hang out together with the kids all the time. She took care of my kids when I was hospitalized, brought me dinner and was just a very good friend. Fast forward 4 years and she barely responds to my texts. I realized the parents for divorced last year. It is clear to me that she is not interested in being my friend. We stopped hanging out before covid. Her son still considers my child his best friend. I got the boys together once during Covid and the boy was so happy to see my son.

Would you continue reaching out to try to make plans?

This is a different situation than trying to make a new friend. I know this child must be hurting. The kids are not close enough to just hang out. There needs to be parent coordination.

[Anonymous]

Since the boys are best friends, yes keep contact but I would not make plans between you two. (I’m a little bit confused because you said the boys are not close but you also see their best friends.)

[Anonymous]

I would just invite him over for play dates. Or go pick him up on your way somewhere fun. No pressure on her to go along.

[Anonymous]

Have you reached out to a knowledge her divorce? That can be pretty devastating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you reached out to a knowledge her divorce? That can be pretty devastating.

Yes, this. Especially if the marriage was controlling or otherwise abusive. It takes a lot to leave and often gets worse after leaving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just invite him over for play dates. Or go pick him up on your way somewhere fun. No pressure on her to go along.

I would do this. It sounds like she’s going through a lot of stuff right now. So reach out and check in. If she doesn’t open up that’s ok. But still try and get the boys together because it sounds like they enjoy each other

[Anonymous]

soo she was a great friend while you were hospitalized and now that she has recently gone through a divorce and has been less responsive you think you should drop her?

[Anonymous]

I'm confused: you said you were close friends, she took care of you after you were hospitalized, and you didn't know her marriage was coming apart? Did you support her when her life unraveled?

[Anonymous]

Please reach out. Some people pull back when they are going through a hard time.
Offer some play dates and host them.

[Anonymous]

Let the boys make their own plans, if you met them 8-9 years ago I’m assuming they are at least 12+ years old. As for the mom, I may text every once in a while to just say “hi” but that’s about it. If she never responds to the occasional text I’d eventually stop altogether.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely keep trying to get the kids together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:soo she was a great friend while you were hospitalized and now that she has recently gone through a divorce and has been less responsive you think you should drop her?

Seriously. This.

There’s nothing in your post that indicates you’ve need a great friend to her.

Have you even asked how she’s doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:soo she was a great friend while you were hospitalized and now that she has recently gone through a divorce and has been less responsive you think you should drop her?

Seriously. This.

There’s nothing in your post that indicates you’ve need a great friend to her.

Have you even asked how she’s doing?

+1. After reading about how great Mom was to you, I was surprised at the ending (you dropping her). Perhaps you have not been a great friend to her causing her to pull back.

[Anonymous]

+1 to the others

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:soo she was a great friend while you were hospitalized and now that she has recently gone through a divorce and has been less responsive you think you should drop her?

Seriously. This.

There’s nothing in your post that indicates you’ve need a great friend to her.

Have you even asked how she’s doing?

+1. After reading about how great Mom was to you, I was surprised at the ending (you dropping her). Perhaps you have not been a great friend to her causing her to pull back.

I did not drop her. She dropped me. I have reached out to her for the past 3 years.