How to know when to change pre-schools

[Anonymous]

My daughter is 3. She’s a pretty easy kid. Follows directions and makes friends easy. We took her out of her day care and moved her to a center close to home for the pandemic. I toured so many places trying to find a spot. Found a spot at a very expensive pre-school. I am very disappointed. Bad communication- changes in schedule with no notice, new kids and no notice, they give her snacks but don’t tell us. No daily notes, no idea if she is napping or whatever. We are paying for a meal plan we aren’t getting (said because COVID they couldn’t keep food safe) but they give her snacks. She was in time out a few times and never told me. Teacher is cold at pick-up. They forget to put sunscreen on.

I love the families we’ve met. I love that these kids are such good friends and will go to K with her.

I want to switch her. I have no idea to where, but is this normal? It is very expensive and just overall i am frustrated.

Will I lose friendships? What happens when I see these people again at elementary school?

Is there any hope administration will fix these issues are are there just too many.

[Anonymous]

If you re posting here, you know the answer and its time to change. She'll be fine, maybe happier.

[Anonymous]

Your complaints sound a bit petty - new kids enrolled, change in schedule, no sunscreen, unannounced snacks..., really Op? None of those are big deals.
Do you struggle with control in other areas of your life?

You're going to uproot your kid once again, who finally established friends and a routine all b/c of a few annoyances?
And where would you enroll her? You said you've toured a lot of places and presumably none of them are up to your standards anyway. So what's your backup?

Your kid will age out to the next class in the next X months and perhaps those new teachers will be able to meet your (high) expectation of transparency.
Just stick it out.

If you're still royally annoyed, pick the 1 biggest annoyance to you and ask about it? Was the change of schedule temporary? Something outside of their control? Was your kid even bothered by it?

[Anonymous]

OP, you are not going to know everything that happens during your child's day. You will not approve of everything. As long as it is not harming your child (which doesn't sound like the case in any of your examples) you just have to go with the flow.

And I just applied the sunscreen myself. Why rely on a rushed teacher?

[Anonymous]

I switched my three year old from one preschool to another. This was pre-covid, so it was a little different - but I was very unimpressed with how they were filing the kids' days and when I asked the director about it, she got upset with me. I certainly didn't lose friendships and don't think you can stress about that. People move around at the preschool age for all kinds of reasons - new siblings, a parent decides to stay home, people move. You should follow your gut and if you're really unhappy, know that kids are resilient and your kid will be fine at a new place that seems better. I am much happier at the new school, although it is also NOT perfect. No preschool is perfect.

HOWEVER, some of your complaints are pretty silly, IMO. You want notice of new kids joining the class (how does that even impact you)? Notice of all snacks? A daily log Think critically about how difficult it is to watch a bunch of toddlers all day...wouldn't you rather the teachers be focused on your kid rather than writing up their potty/food/nap schedule for you? If your kid doesn't eat anything or never naps, then they should raise the issue with your (or you with them). But I think you just can't send your kid to all day child care and then micromanage the caregivers. Preschool teachers are, frankly, overworked and underpaid and if your kid is happy and thriving then you really should let this stuff go.

[Anonymous]

“Preschools” tend to be a little different from daycares, even if they ARE your daycare. IME, they don’t do the daily note, they don’t apply sunscreen (you do it in the morning), and they do give daily snacks. I think that stuff is normal. However, the teachers at my kids preschool were outstanding, warm, and wonderful. Teachers are what matters in preschool, so if you don’t like the teacher, move her.