If you are a non religious household, how do you handle religious holidays or Santa, etc?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are not religious. I was raised in a household to believe that Santa and heaven are real, but I seriously doubted it as a kid.

I don’t know if I want to keep up the Santa facade with my son. It seems cruel to lead him on about a non-existent being. My husband and I don’t believe in heaven or any concept of Christian. I have complicated feelings about Judeo-Christian holidays, especially with the history of Christian missionaries destroying cultures and original religions, witch trials, etc.

If you don’t believe in God, or fantasies, what do you teach your children? My husband and I believe in science and nature, that energy can’t be destroyed. But the reality is none of us know for sure. I don’t want to create some kind of existential crisis in my son. He’s only 2, so he has no concept of religion right now at all.

[Anonymous]

If you don’t want to celebrate Christmas, don’t. The majority of people on this earth don’t. Teach your kids about different religions and beliefs people have and teach them about your beliefs.

[Anonymous]

We never tried to convince our kids that Santa was real, but we celebrate Christmas. They flip flopped about whether they believed in Santa based on what their preschool friends had to say on any given day. We avoided lying to them but didn’t correct them if they were in a “pro Santa” phase.

Both DH and I grew up celebrating Christmas; it’s a part of our culture and family tradition, even though we are not believers.

[Anonymous]

I’m an atheist. When my daughter was young, we celebrated Christmas, but in the decorations, presents, family sense. It’s not like most little kids really understand it in a religious sense, anyway. When she asked about Santa, we talked about the origin story, and let her decide what she wanted to believe (same as tooth fairy). She came down on the side of it not being logical, so I told her that in school there will be other kids that believe and she has to respect their houses as well. As she has become older, the same holds true; she doesn’t believe in god, but she is not allowed to disrespect other people’s belief systems. Two of her good friends are extremely religious.

When she was 3, we lost our two dogs and her paternal grandfather in a span of 3 months. I explained to her that in the universe, matter (things you can touch/feel) and energy are interchangeable and constant. When one ceases to be matter, it becomes energy, which is everywhere in the universe.

Basically, talk to your child. Let him decide what he wants to believe. As he gets older, your conversations can become more nuanced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We never tried to convince our kids that Santa was real, but we celebrate Christmas. They flip flopped about whether they believed in Santa based on what their preschool friends had to say on any given day. We avoided lying to them but didn’t correct them if they were in a “pro Santa” phase.

Both DH and I grew up celebrating Christmas; it’s a part of our culture and family tradition, even though we are not believers.

We were more or less like this. I answered truthfully when asked point blank and when I told them I was actually Santa- they thought it meant that I was the regional distributor for Santa and was the one who distributed the gifts to our town.

We are UU and we have some traditions through that too.

[Anonymous]

Although both DH and I grew up christians, we’re an atheist household now and don’t celebrate christmas but rather simply the end/beginning of the calendar year. We’ve never done santa as it is a religious thing and when our daughter was old enough to notice, we told her santa was just make-believe for her friends as is whole religious holiday. We do exchange small gifts among ourselves but avoid each other’s families as both sides remain stuck in myth and we’d rather not expose our child to this. As most of the decorating is wasteful and superstition, we avoid that as well. We ground her in reality and science, not fantasy.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you celebrate Yule or nothing. Just enjoy the few days off. Presents were given out during Yule also. You can cut out the presents if you want to.
Most holidays completely escape me: I have no idea when they are, whether they are religious or not, and what they are about. I even mix up labor day and memorial day. It helps if you work on holidays and don't really like them because your work is busier.
Also, you know a whole lot about religions being non-religious. Easier to ignore it all if you know nothing about them and what other people do or don't.
End of December to several days after NY is simply a time to take it easy and make plans for new year. Nothing religious about it. Good time to visit friends and family because many are taking it easy.
While the gifts and decoration might be all wasteful now, that was not the original intent. Tree was brought in for some color and good fragrance and later fed to animals. If you ever lived in the north, you'd know that after 3 months of snow, you want anything green. We used to dig under snow and pull up blueberry and cranberry plants to decorate our home. That's what it took to find color in the winter. Now we just go to dollar store.

[Anonymous]

You are Christian. Just exchange a few small gifts - tree optional, no Santa.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing cruel about pretending there is a Santa. You do not have to do it, it is up to you. But kids enjoy the make believe. They also seem to enjoy figuring out that it is make believe. But if it makes you uncomfortable, then I think that is your answer. You do not pretend there is a Santa.

Just choose what you want to do and be consistent with it. There are no right answers. There is only what is right for you.

[Anonymous]

Santa isn’t religious.

[Anonymous]

We skip visiting Santa, but do pretend he visits like a fairy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Santa isn’t religious.

Santa is based on Saint Nicholas so therefor we consider it religious and don’t do it. It’s just contributing to the ridiculous of it all.

[Anonymous]

We're non-religious, and grew up in Atheist homes. We exchange gifts on Christmas and pretend Santa brought some. We go on egg hunts on Easter. We do all of this without involving religion. To me it's easier to hunt for eggs and buy some gifts than to have my child feel sad for participating in something fun.

[Anonymous]

I'm secular but I celebrate Christian holidays, including some religious elements because I was raised Christian and it's a cultural practice. I tell my daughter about the religious beliefs and cultural practices related to holidays. I'm not religious but I have no hostility towards religion. For my kid, her Jehovah Witness classmates really turned her off to religion by telling her that all kinds of horrible violent things happen to people who celebrate holidays (or are gay and she has two moms).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Santa isn’t religious.

Santa is based on Saint Nicholas so therefor we consider it religious and don’t do it. It’s just contributing to the ridiculous of it all.

It is also based on Norway’s nisse and Sweden’s tomte. So not solely Christian.