Turning down admission offers

[Anonymous]

What happens if you turn down a school that offered admissions this year because you don't think it is the best fit for your DC NOW, but could be in the future? Will they ever consider you for admissions again, or have you burnt your bridges? Thoughts anyone?

[Anonymous]

I was just going to post the same thing. We are thinking about turning down one school (not a big 3 or even a big 20...), because DD has other needs that they might not be able to meet right now. I am worried about how they may react if we apply again in a few years.

[Anonymous]

I've worked at a private school before and as long as you turn down promptly and are respectful and gracious it's not a big deal at all.

[Anonymous]

We turned down a school a few years ago for our oldest DC and our youngest DC was accepted to the same school this year. I have no idea whether the school checked to see if we previously declined admission. When we did decline, we sent a letter sincerely complimenting the school, but again, I don't know if that letter went immediately into the "round file, or if it was kept -- and if it was kept, if it makes any difference. (Also, although the school is considered fairly competitive, in this economy, I'm guessing it might not be as competitive to get into as it was previously).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We turned down a school a few years ago for our oldest DC and our youngest DC was accepted to the same school this year. I have no idea whether the school checked to see if we previously declined admission. When we did decline, we sent a letter sincerely complimenting the school, but again, I don't know if that letter went immediately into the "round file, or if it was kept -- and if it was kept, if it makes any difference. (Also, although the school is considered fairly competitive, in this economy, I'm guessing it might not be as competitive to get into as it was previously).

Glad to hear this, as I have a DD who will apply in a few years to Sidwell, which DS turned down two years ago for another private school. Sidwell would be DD's second choice, probably, but I would not like for DD's options to be limited by DS's enrollment decision.

[Anonymous]

As stated earlier on this thread, the most important thing is to notify the school you are declining in a timely manner. Follow up with a personal note that can be placed in the the file, which will be referenced during future applications.

[Anonymous]

Could someone guide me as to what the proper etiquette is in this context? Is a letter necessary? What does one typically say in this context? I had imagined that not sending back the signed contract by April 2 was enough -- but clearly this is not the case.

[Anonymous]

I don't want to rain on the parade, but my strong impression is that it CAN be a factor the second time around. Not necessarily fatal (the above examples show that) but they are aware of it and it can sway things. I agree responding in a timely manner and writing a polite note is a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Definitely write a polite letter to decline. Don't just not send in the contract. The letter should express regret at having to decline the kind offer of admission, say that the decision was made only after much consideration, and thank the school for their hospitality and consideration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We turned down a school a few years ago for our oldest DC and our youngest DC was accepted to the same school this year. I have no idea whether the school checked to see if we previously declined admission. When we did decline, we sent a letter sincerely complimenting the school, but again, I don't know if that letter went immediately into the "round file, or if it was kept -- and if it was kept, if it makes any difference. (Also, although the school is considered fairly competitive, in this economy, I'm guessing it might not be as competitive to get into as it was previously).

Glad to hear this, as I have a DD who will apply in a few years to Sidwell, which DS turned down two years ago for another private school. Sidwell would be DD's second choice, probably, but I would not like for DD's options to be limited by DS's enrollment decision.

Hi. I'm the mother of the DD who will apply to Sidwell four years after DS declined their offer. I'd like to add that I did send a handwritten letter about a week before the decision deadline (we had had to think hard between STA and Sidwell) thanking the school for thei kind offer, expressing regret at declining the offer, saying what a difficult decision it had been, and thanking the school for their hospitality and consideration.

[Anonymous]

We wrote a nice letter to GDS when we turned them down. Received a lovely note back from them letting us know that if things did not work out, we were most welcome to reapply.

[Anonymous]

When you wrote the letter declining their offer, did you state which school you had chosen?

[Anonymous]

bump

[Anonymous]

I did not name the chosen school, thinking it more gracious not to. But I think there are ways to name the school in a way that is not offensive. The key thing is not to seem to be boasting or implying that the chosen school is better.

[Anonymous]

I'm the 5:04 poster. Yes, we did name the school to be able to give them closure. In almost all cases, each school knows the other schools to which you've applied. It also confirms that you are open and honest about everything you do and share that.