"I won't date someone whose parents are divorced"

[Anonymous]

Is this an OK standard to have?

My fiance told me he would never date a woman with divorced parents. He said it normalizes divorce, they grow up in a home where marriage is temporary, and in a lot of cases they no longer have a father. I think I agree with him, but it seems kind of mean to dismiss people based on their parents' actions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this an OK standard to have?

My fiance told me he would never date a woman with divorced parents. He said it normalizes divorce, they grow up in a home where marriage is temporary, and in a lot of cases they no longer have a father. I think I agree with him, but it seems kind of mean to dismiss people based on their parents' actions.

Oh my ummm wow. Would he date a man with divorced parents? He doesnt seem very open-minded. Keep that in mind if you are thinking about having children with him. He will box them in too.

[Anonymous]

I grew up with a divorced single mom and I’ve heard this. I don’t care. It doesn’t bother me.

Not the type of person I would want to be with anyway. And I don’t say this with a sour grapes complex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this an OK standard to have?

My fiance told me he would never date a woman with divorced parents. He said it normalizes divorce, they grow up in a home where marriage is temporary, and in a lot of cases they no longer have a father. I think I agree with him, but it seems kind of mean to dismiss people based on their parents' actions.

Oh my ummm wow. Would he date a man with divorced parents? He doesnt seem very open-minded. Keep that in mind if you are thinking about having children with him. He will box them in too.

He's straight, so no he wouldn't date a man.

[Anonymous]

That person is both cruel and an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That person is both cruel and an idiot.

Oh no, it's your fiance! Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I have heard this before. I don't think it is a rare sentiment.

I dated someone like this once who thought this way, while at the same time, acknowledging that their parents were miserable (but still married)

In my family those who went into marriage confident with each set of parents had never divorced are now, in fact, divorced. Those who came from divored households are happily married by all appearances for 10+ years.

I don't think divorced parents are as much of a red flag as family relationships in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this an OK standard to have?

My fiance told me he would never date a woman with divorced parents. He said it normalizes divorce, they grow up in a home where marriage is temporary, and in a lot of cases they no longer have a father. I think I agree with him, but it seems kind of mean to dismiss people based on their parents' actions.

Oh my ummm wow. Would he date a man with divorced parents? He doesnt seem very open-minded. Keep that in mind if you are thinking about having children with him. He will box them in too.

He's straight, so no he wouldn't date a man.

Sure he is. Why do you think he is so rigid? He is uncomfortable with his thoughts and decisions. Total red flag. Beta male.

[Anonymous]

I think it's the type of thing you say until you meet an actual person that you are attracted to whose parents are divorced. Your fiance is already engaged to you so who cares?

My parents are divorced and honestly it's a pretty reasonable standard. I never had a model for a healthy romantic relationship and had to figure that out on my own. But I did, because it's not rocket science.

[Anonymous]

Wow, no, I would never date someone so inflexible and closed minded! What other absolutist beliefs do they hold? Building a life together, especially if you have kids, requires compromise and flexibility. I would think hard about what kind of he is before you marry him.

I do think it can make sense to end a relationship if the other person’s family dynamics are a mess, because when you marry someone, you marry their family too. But to categorically refuse to date someone based on their family seems insane.

[Anonymous]

You and your partner sound stupid and close-minded OP. My DH had a terribly abusive childhood and divorced parents. He is literally the world’s best father.

[Anonymous]

DH’s parents would never dream of divorcing. Especially now in their 70s when their only hobby is hating each other.

[Anonymous]

Thank goodness my husband didn't feel this way. My parents are divorced - my mother three times, my father two - and DH's parents are happily married.

[Anonymous]

My exhusband said this on our first date. I thought it was odd. My parents are married....it is terrible...and a horrible way to grow up. My mostly amicable divorce is far better for them than my childhood was. My ex and I did not have a good marriage. We did not divorce the old-fashioned toxic way though.

[Anonymous]

I felt that way when I starting dating with an eye towards a marriage and family. I never would have said it out loud though