Potty training a just turned three-year-old

[Anonymous]

I thought this was going to be so easy!! She used pull ups at daycare and pees in the potty there. She understands and can hold and release urine. She knows when she’s going to poop and goes to her special spot behind the chair.

However, for a full week now she has refused to use the potty at home or at school. She has to wear pull ups at school but is either naked or in underwear at home. At home she just pees or poops in her pants and screams and won’t let you put her on the potty or toilet (with insert). We offer good rewards - things she cries for but still won’t go.

What can we do?

[jsmith123]

3 can be a tough age.

I think the key to potty training is giving your child autonomy and being their cheerleader as opposed to their adversary.

Can you try to set it up as her choice instead of trying to force her? My 3 year old always wants to be "big" and is very motivated by anything that "big kids" do. So if I framed potty training as something that is an exciting challenge that would make him a big kid, he'd want to prove himself. And we would cheer on his progress.

But if I tell my 3 year old something to do something, he basically just says no reflexively because that's how 3 year olds can be!

[Anonymous]

jsmith123 wrote:3 can be a tough age.

I think the key to potty training is giving your child autonomy and being their cheerleader as opposed to their adversary.

Can you try to set it up as her choice instead of trying to force her? My 3 year old always wants to be "big" and is very motivated by anything that "big kids" do. So if I framed potty training as something that is an exciting challenge that would make him a big kid, he'd want to prove himself. And we would cheer on his progress.

But if I tell my 3 year old something to do something, he basically just says no reflexively because that's how 3 year olds can be!

OP here. She is unmoved by the whole “big” motivation when it comes to potty training. We did celebrate and praise when she used the potty.

She’s peed her pants three times already today and waited for her nap pull up to poop. Her bedroom reeks as she clearly pooped as soon as she got into bed so it festered for an hour and a half. This is her autonomy.