Are your kids bored in the suburbs?

[Anonymous]

We live in NYC and even stuck it out here throughout the pandemic. I'm now pregnant with our third child and we're thinking about moving to the suburbs. What once sounded so boring to me now sounds wonderful - a house with a backyard, a car, grocery shopping in a big suburban store, quiet, lots of parks and green space and of course good schools and kids activities.

The thing I keep hearing is that once the kids grow up to be teenagers, they get bored in the suburbs and maybe stay a bit more out of trouble in the city where they can be more independent. Personally, I wasn't ever *that* bored where I grew up - I was too busy with school and sports and we thought it was fun to go to Panera on a Friday night and just chill and talk (I was a bit of a nerd lol). But I'm sure others felt differently. Anyway - what are your thoughts on that? We're thinking of moving to Westchester or Fairfield county (no more that 45 minutes from the city) so in my daydreams, I see my kids biking to the train if they're bored and going for a day in the city. I actually have a few friends who live in CT/NJ/Westchester and in they're in the city more than I thought.

By the way, commute is not an issue. My husband and I will be working from home indefinitely.

[Anonymous]

No. Not bored. When they were young, they would ride bikes and play with friends in the immediate neighborhood. That changed to riding bikes and going out to eat or going places when they got a little older. They they start driving or taking Uber. We also have the metro but mine don’t really take it.

Here, DC with an uber or car is a quick trip. But they never really want to go there since there is plenty going on with friends closer to home. I grew up in the suburbs then DH and I lived in the city for many years. We moved back out here when our oldest was in K. It was a good choice.

[Anonymous]

^and yes, most of their time is spent with sports anyway now.

[Anonymous]

A suburb that has things you can walk/bike to or has decent public transit is very different than a really sprawling suburb that is highly car dependent.

Kids who want to find trouble will find it in any setting.

I grew up in suburban NY and then suburban Philly, right by trains to both, and we almost never bothered to go in except for a few concerts once people had their licenses. There was enough stuff to do at home.

[Anonymous]

My kids do not appear to be bored. They have friends and hang out with them. Before they drove themselves, parents would drive them to where ever and they would meet up and walk around and eat at Paneras, Five Guys, etc. Now they drive, and I feel that they still do the same, except they drive themselves there. When they were young, they rode bikes and played with neighborhood kids. Nighttime tag, which I think they called Man Hunt, and other games.

[Anonymous]

No far less bored than when we were downtown. The suburbs has a lot of amenities/activities that are targeted at families.

[Anonymous]

Kids don't get bored in the suburbs. But they do get into trouble of the sort that most parents will never know about. And parents who think "not MY kids" are in denial. Most end up fine in the end, though -- like kids everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A suburb that has things you can walk/bike to or has decent public transit is very different than a really sprawling suburb that is highly car dependent.

Kids who want to find trouble will find it in any setting.

I grew up in suburban NY and then suburban Philly, right by trains to both, and we almost never bothered to go in except for a few concerts once people had their licenses. There was enough stuff to do at home.

You lived by a train in suburban NY but had to wait to get drivers’ licenses to go to concerts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids do not appear to be bored. They have friends and hang out with them. Before they drove themselves, parents would drive them to where ever and they would meet up and walk around and eat at Paneras, Five Guys, etc. Now they drive, and I feel that they still do the same, except they drive themselves there. When they were young, they rode bikes and played with neighborhood kids. Nighttime tag, which I think they called Man Hunt, and other games.

Eating at Five Guys and Panera would be exciting.

[Anonymous]

My kids are 7 and 10. I'm from Queens - so, a mix of suburbs and city. Now living in the DC burbs - as burb-y as it gets.

It's been wonderful. So many parks and green space. Quick drive to the city or farmland so they get a variety of experience. This year with everything going on, I'm perfectly fine with them running over to friends houses alone; something we wouldn't have allowed in Queens, so they're getting a good taste of independence. I do worry they'll be more limited when they're teens - I lived for jumping on the bus or subway and going wherever I wanted. But I guess they get licenses and cars earlier here. It's still a suburb of a city so they can take a train in at some point. We have learned to like the slower pace, and LOVE the space.

[Anonymous]

I moved from Brooklyn to NJ after I had my first kid and came back 8 years later when my kids were 8 and 6. I have to say that for elementary school kids the suburbs are better - more chance to run around, backyards, spontaneous play dates, etc. They grumbled a bit in the beginning when we moved. However, once the kids reached middle school, everyone was much happier. Their suburban friends were envious of their independence and I haven’t had to take them to any activities since they were about 12.

[Anonymous]

I do not understand the premise of your question.

[Anonymous]

I feel like the question is weird. If the teens are bored, so what? They can work hard and pay rent in the city during or after college.

If they’re bored they aren’t busy, and that’s a bigger issue. With sports, school, playing with neighbors, they should be busy anyway. Move or don’t move to the suburbs. They are popular with families for real reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not understand the premise of your question.

+1. Your kids will no be bored in the suburbs.

[Anonymous]

I was insanely bored in the suburbs, especially because I didn’t have a lot of friends, but I lived in the suburbs suburbs. It took 45 minutes to drive to get to anything resembling a city and even there the only things I could go in were small concert arenas and sometimes a street festival. As another poster pointed out, living within a quick drive or bike ride of urban attractions is not the same thing at all.