Sleep training but keeping a dream feed

[Anonymous]

Using the sleep easy solution. We are keeping a dream feed around 1130 every night as we have a big baby that likes to eat. The sleep easy method says that if baby wakes up before a scheduled feed time, wait for him to fall asleep before going in to feed because if not, baby will learn that if he cries long and hard enough, someone will help him fall asleep. Usually this has works- baby cries for around 10-20 mins and then goes back to sleep. Then I feed him 10 mins later. But tonight he woke up at 1120 (10 mins before the feed) and has been crying for an hour (with the regular checks). I feel terrible. Is it a hard and fast rule that I need to stick to? I get the logic behind it but not sure if there’s any flexibility involved.

[Anonymous]

What night is it? I would say yes, if it’s in the first, say 7-10 days, you should wait until he falls back to sleep.

If it was several weeks into this and he was basically sleep trained, I’d feed him if he woke up crying at 11:20 just for convenience sake, but I think it would be confusing to do that in the early stages.

Good luck! I know it’s hard - we did sleep easy too! So worth it in the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What night is it? I would say yes, if it’s in the first, say 7-10 days, you should wait until he falls back to sleep.

If it was several weeks into this and he was basically sleep trained, I’d feed him if he woke up crying at 11:20 just for convenience sake, but I think it would be confusing to do that in the early stages.

Good luck! I know it’s hard - we did sleep easy too! So worth it in the end.

It was night 10 exactly, which made it harder to decide. He cried for 75 mins and it didn’t look like he was going to sleep at all, so I gave in and fed him. Hope I didn’t ruin it with that. He woke up twice more in the middle of the night but was able to put himself back to sleep. What is the goal of sleep training? Is it considered to have failed if baby is still waking up 2-3 times at night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What night is it? I would say yes, if it’s in the first, say 7-10 days, you should wait until he falls back to sleep.

If it was several weeks into this and he was basically sleep trained, I’d feed him if he woke up crying at 11:20 just for convenience sake, but I think it would be confusing to do that in the early stages.

Good luck! I know it’s hard - we did sleep easy too! So worth it in the end.

It was night 10 exactly, which made it harder to decide. He cried for 75 mins and it didn’t look like he was going to sleep at all, so I gave in and fed him. Hope I didn’t ruin it with that. He woke up twice more in the middle of the night but was able to put himself back to sleep. What is the goal of sleep training? Is it considered to have failed if baby is still waking up 2-3 times at night?

PP here. Night 10? Meh, probably fine, I wouldn't worry too much. You might consider moving his dreamfeed a little earlier to 1) avoid this and 2) make your life better once he's sleeping through - assuming he's getting up at 7am, and it takes a half hour to feed him and get yourself to bed after the dreamfeed, you're maxing out at 7 hours of sleep for yourself. I think you'd be better off with a dreamfeed at more like 10:30. (somewhat depending on his bedtime)

The goal is that when he wakes up in the middle of the night (as we all do! without even realizing it!) he just goes back to sleep without crying. That way, you get a full nights sleep, and his isn't disrupted by fully waking and crying. He'll just do what we do - adjust or roll in a half asleep state and fall right back to sleep.

I will say that everyone says sleep training is 3-5 days. And I think for many (most?) it is - but we were still having some crying jags through week 2. And even, I think, in week 3, we had a couple bad naps. Still worth it!

How are naps going during the day? The 2-3 times a night he's waking - is that every night, or just some nights? How long is he crying? Have you seen some progress since week 1?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What night is it? I would say yes, if it’s in the first, say 7-10 days, you should wait until he falls back to sleep.

If it was several weeks into this and he was basically sleep trained, I’d feed him if he woke up crying at 11:20 just for convenience sake, but I think it would be confusing to do that in the early stages.

Good luck! I know it’s hard - we did sleep easy too! So worth it in the end.

It was night 10 exactly, which made it harder to decide. He cried for 75 mins and it didn’t look like he was going to sleep at all, so I gave in and fed him. Hope I didn’t ruin it with that. He woke up twice more in the middle of the night but was able to put himself back to sleep. What is the goal of sleep training? Is it considered to have failed if baby is still waking up 2-3 times at night?

PP here. Night 10? Meh, probably fine, I wouldn't worry too much. You might consider moving his dreamfeed a little earlier to 1) avoid this and 2) make your life better once he's sleeping through - assuming he's getting up at 7am, and it takes a half hour to feed him and get yourself to bed after the dreamfeed, you're maxing out at 7 hours of sleep for yourself. I think you'd be better off with a dreamfeed at more like 10:30. (somewhat depending on his bedtime)

The goal is that when he wakes up in the middle of the night (as we all do! without even realizing it!) he just goes back to sleep without crying. That way, you get a full nights sleep, and his isn't disrupted by fully waking and crying. He'll just do what we do - adjust or roll in a half asleep state and fall right back to sleep.

I will say that everyone says sleep training is 3-5 days. And I think for many (most?) it is - but we were still having some crying jags through week 2. And even, I think, in week 3, we had a couple bad naps. Still worth it!

How are naps going during the day? The 2-3 times a night he's waking - is that every night, or just some nights? How long is he crying? Have you seen some progress since week 1?

Naps are decent- 3 naps of about 45 mins each (sometimes the second nap will be 1.5 hours and then the third nap will be a 20-30 min cat nap). He usually cries for 10-15 mins before falling asleep for naps. Before sleep training, he could only sleep when held.

He usually wakes up once around 430, cries for 20-30 min and falls asleep, and then again at 530 (cries goes back to sleep within 2-5 mins). Sometimes he will wake up around 1030-11 but cries and goes back to sleep within a minute. Yesterday was the first time he cried for so long since day 1. All this is an improvement from before- he woke up 5 times a night and had to be fed to sleep each time.

Any suggestions based on what you’re seeing? How are we doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What night is it? I would say yes, if it’s in the first, say 7-10 days, you should wait until he falls back to sleep.

If it was several weeks into this and he was basically sleep trained, I’d feed him if he woke up crying at 11:20 just for convenience sake, but I think it would be confusing to do that in the early stages.

Good luck! I know it’s hard - we did sleep easy too! So worth it in the end.

It was night 10 exactly, which made it harder to decide. He cried for 75 mins and it didn’t look like he was going to sleep at all, so I gave in and fed him. Hope I didn’t ruin it with that. He woke up twice more in the middle of the night but was able to put himself back to sleep. What is the goal of sleep training? Is it considered to have failed if baby is still waking up 2-3 times at night?

PP here. Night 10? Meh, probably fine, I wouldn't worry too much. You might consider moving his dreamfeed a little earlier to 1) avoid this and 2) make your life better once he's sleeping through - assuming he's getting up at 7am, and it takes a half hour to feed him and get yourself to bed after the dreamfeed, you're maxing out at 7 hours of sleep for yourself. I think you'd be better off with a dreamfeed at more like 10:30. (somewhat depending on his bedtime)

The goal is that when he wakes up in the middle of the night (as we all do! without even realizing it!) he just goes back to sleep without crying. That way, you get a full nights sleep, and his isn't disrupted by fully waking and crying. He'll just do what we do - adjust or roll in a half asleep state and fall right back to sleep.

I will say that everyone says sleep training is 3-5 days. And I think for many (most?) it is - but we were still having some crying jags through week 2. And even, I think, in week 3, we had a couple bad naps. Still worth it!

How are naps going during the day? The 2-3 times a night he's waking - is that every night, or just some nights? How long is he crying? Have you seen some progress since week 1?

Naps are decent- 3 naps of about 45 mins each (sometimes the second nap will be 1.5 hours and then the third nap will be a 20-30 min cat nap). He usually cries for 10-15 mins before falling asleep for naps. Before sleep training, he could only sleep when held.

He usually wakes up once around 430, cries for 20-30 min and falls asleep, and then again at 530 (cries goes back to sleep within 2-5 mins). Sometimes he will wake up around 1030-11 but cries and goes back to sleep within a minute. Yesterday was the first time he cried for so long since day 1. All this is an improvement from before- he woke up 5 times a night and had to be fed to sleep each time.

Any suggestions based on what you’re seeing? How are we doing?

I'm no expert, just someone who did this a few months back with the same system and a tough baby - but I think you're doing great. Just give it more time. And make sure he's getting enough food during the day - particularly if he was eating five times a night, this is a big adjustment, so make sure he's getting those calories during the day! Good luck!