How do you interact with your teens therapist? How do I navigate this?

[Anonymous]

We finally found a therapist for DD that she likes.. so far (seen her 3x). DD is in a better place in general; her mood swings, panic attacks, tantrums can change daily though. I’m glad we started at a good time while things are smoother. Our first meeting we both met the the new therapist. I always hate these sessions because it’s so hard to be open about the problems with your child/family with the child present. I was also more upbeat and less revealing because I want DD to like the woman. Let it go?

We are still early in the relationship, right now DD is talking about schoolwork and her “friends.” She doesn’t really have any close friends. DD, 13, has anxiety, depression, and ADD. My biggest beef is that she doesn’t take her meds every day, I have to remind her constantly and stand over her. I am just so tired. DD is loud. Dramatic, and mean at home. I don’t want to ruin the rhythm and I would like DD to utilize the session that motivates and strengthens her but The therapist is not getting the full picture. I did release a form and asked the therapist to call the school guidance counselor for school drama history. Should I just arrange an appointment for myself with her therapist? It’s so expensive and out of pocket.., What gave you done?

[Anonymous]

My child’s therapist had me speak with him alone from time to time to address issues like this. He was clear with my child that he wouldn’t share any confidences but that he needed my perspective too. Then he would speak with my child and then us together which I found super helpful

[Anonymous]

Schedule a meeting with the therapist to discuss what your expectations are and what you hope your daughter and you will get out of therapy. Our DD’s therapy session start with a parent present during the first 15 minutes to raise and discuss any family issues or questions. Then the parent returns for the last 5 minutes. Sometimes we skip the parent portion if we don’t have anything to raise and if DD wants more time with the therapist.

[Anonymous]

Yes, pay to have a one on one meeting, it is expensive but worth it.

[Anonymous]

Remember that it takes times for teens to trust their therapist - much like dating there is a getting to know you period. She won’t likely open up until she feels safe and heard.

[Anonymous]

OP are you there when your daughter talks to the therapist?

[Anonymous]

Our first meeting with the therapist was us (parents) alone for the first half and our son alone for the second half. We've never had a full session as parents with her, but she does give us 10 minutes at the end of every session to update us / ask us if we have concerns.

[Anonymous]

We have regular communication with your teens therapist. He is almost 17 and has been in therapy for many, many years with 2 different therapists over time. The first one would speak to the parents at the beginning of the session. It was often a waste of time because it was so frequent. The current one has a separate session with us once a month. We can always text the therapist too when necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP are you there when your daughter talks to the therapist?

OP here- Only the first meeting for 15 minutes. The other 2 sessions DD was alone with the therapist.

[Anonymous]

My teen's therapist would meet with me alone for the last 5 minutes of my teen's session. She would take short phone calls anytime (I never abused this) and we could schedule a paid longer phone call.

[Anonymous]

At 13 I think it’s pretty unrealistic to expect your child to take medication without you giving it to her. I know how exhausting that is, but it takes a lot of enlightenment and buy in to be independent.

As far as dealing with therapists, I just email or text when I have a concern. It’s pretty one sided because all I get back is thanks for the information. But the therapy is working so I just stay out of it. Different story with the psychiatrist because meds depend on a full and accurate picture.

[Anonymous]

I had DD give the therapist permission to talk to me, which meant we could be more forthcoming. I generally email with her, but sometimes we have a call.

[Anonymous]

DD's therapist meets with us once a month or so. I think it's worth it to speak freely without DD there. FWIW, we also have to monitor DD to make sure she takes her pill. I have a timer on my phone that goes off each day at the designated time. I can't remember myself without the timer, so I can't imagine ADHD DD doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remember that it takes times for teens to trust their therapist - much like dating there is a getting to know you period. She won’t likely open up until she feels safe and heard.

+1 It took my kid at least 6 weeks to start opening up to her therapist. During the initial visit I was present for, DD barely spoke at all but now (4 months in) things seem to be going much better. I have zero contact with the therapist directly but I could call her if I needed to.

[Anonymous]

My 13-year-old with ADHD is 100% on board and compliant but would never remember to take medication without a reminder. (He'd have to be medicated to remember!) He's obviously more organized about other things and we are working hard on school organizing. I let this one go because I am happy that he's happy to take it with a reminder.

My older teen sees a therapist. I email her when I want to explain something. I am totally open and upfront in emails. She seems grateful for the info.