When to start father-son day & father-daughter day?

[Anonymous]

DH is handoff, and my children are around me all the time. Both are mama kids. They are young, 5.5 boy and 2.5 girl.

I hear that it is good to build in father-son day & father-daughter day, when to start, how long & how often, and what to do?

[Anonymous]

Now. There are no rules. Whatever you want it to be.

[Anonymous]

ASAP. He should also have time with both kids without you.

[Anonymous]

DH was taking both my kids on starbucks dates when they were 2ish It doesn't have to be a whole day.... but when I would see an activity that he would enjoy with them (like Nats fest that they used to do in DC) I tell him and they go off together. He doesn't usually take the role of planning so I nudge sometimes.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't need to be a whole day, the point is one-on-one time. Every Saturday morning my dad would pick me up from gymnastics and we'd go to the bank before going home. Every Sunday after hebrew school in the fall, we'd come home and rake and bag leaves in the yard (for hours).

[Anonymous]

Whenever. Whatever he likes to do. My kids love even going grocery shopping or to Home Depot with dh. They go on hikes and try to find gruffalos. DH reads to the kids every other night. DH and I aren't very similar and I think it's great that kids get to see two different parents- I actually think that's the role of having two parents in life.

[Anonymous]

Does he want this?

[Anonymous]

Now. Trade off bedtimes, Saturdays park/lunch time. He needs time with the kids (or one lid at a time) regularly without you. And they know its dad time. My dh does the 4pm-5 pm everyday since hes WFH and i WOH. He also does older kid bedtime half the week and park with toddler on a weekend day without me. Or takes them both for a walk/soccer field rubbing around. 5 and 2 girls. 5 year old is good with him and they roughhouse and have fun but the 2 year old adores daddy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he want this?

Shouldnt matter. He is an equal parent and needs time with his kids.

[Anonymous]

My DH spent times differently with both kids.

During my DD's short soccer career, DH would take her to soccer on Saturday mornings. They would go to Starbucks or Dunkin donuts before or after.

We live in NoVA and sometimes DH and both kids would drive or ride the metro into DC for the day. They would also go fishing. Also it was DH job to take them to see any kids or cartoon movies they wanted (sometimes my grown DH has made choices that DCUM would seriously frown upon - like leaving them in the Lego store while he ran to starbucks and letting my 10 and 12yo go into a movie alone while he watched another one.)

One thing I loved is that I was kid-free on Saturdays and most Sundays after church. After running around all week, it was good to know I had that Sat morning free to get my nails done or just walk thru the mall or something.

[Anonymous]

I mean, the day your kids were born would have been a good time to do it... So basically, NOW. Also, it shouldn't be a "special day"; it should be every day. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, the day your kids were born would have been a good time to do it... So basically, NOW. Also, it shouldn't be a "special day"; it should be every day. Seriously.

Agree. I don't really understand the question, honestly. Is the idea that you'd schedule like a day a week, or a day a month, where it would just be dad+kid? Would it be like dad and kid play hookey from school and work and go on some adventure? Or just dad acts like the parent and manages the mundane aspects of any day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, the day your kids were born would have been a good time to do it... So basically, NOW. Also, it shouldn't be a "special day"; it should be every day. Seriously.

this * 100. Daddy daughter day should just be a random Tuesday and shouldn't be a rare thing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH is handoff, and my children are around me all the time. Both are mama kids. They are young, 5.5 boy and 2.5 girl.

I hear that it is good to build in father-son day & father-daughter day, when to start, how long & how often, and what to do?

He probably likes it the way it is.

[Anonymous]

This is op. Even DH is handoffs, but he co-manages and co-parents our 2 kids together at his comfort level. When kids go to him or he happens to see something, he will take care of the situation. Both of us work, so weekend is the best time to do family activities with kids. On weekend, I often take 2 kids out to kick ball, go to playground, drawing on sidewalk with chalks, do gardening, do craft activities together.

It is chaotic sometimes to take care of 2 kids at one time for me, and I want to sometimes only take care & giving solo attention to one kid spending quality time, and DH take care of the other kid spending quality time. Maybe once a month for a few hours doing something , and then we switch kids. I think that is also a good idea that both 2 kids do not have to be together all the time. I see neighbor’s husband only takes their only daughter out to get ice cream, only takes their only son to do car wash something like that.