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For those that used connections, were they used at more than one school?
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Anonymous
| I was told to only employ that strategy at your 1st choice and now I am kicking myself because the 1st choice did not work out. |
Anonymous
| Who gave you that advice? I was told only to use connections that really knew your child. |
Anonymous
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That is the calculated risk. Often, connections will only back you if they know that you are all in. They have their credibility on the line. It would be most embarressing for them if they extended themself on your behalf, acceptance was attained, and then you decided not to enroll.
On the other hand, you can disclose to them that you are not certain of where you would go. While it is conceivable that they would still support you, it is less likely. We managed this at the school of our choice. Some insiders were willing to go to bat for us, but only if we were certain that was where we wanted to go. We advised them that we would not ask them to do this until we had gone through all of our evaluations. Once we did, and were certain it was our top choice, we made this work for us. We got accepted. There were other schools we applied to where we also had connections. However, for the reasons stated above, we did not ask our contacts to help us out. Some of these schools we did not get accepted at or were waitlisted. I am pretty sure it was because we did not ask for help there from our connections. So, in our case, it was only the one school that we used this strategy. Fortuneately, it worked. I should note that our child was certainly qualified and had the talents to get in. Our relationships did not make up for any deficiencies. Rather, they helped us to stand out in the crowd of many many qualified applicants. |
Anonymous
| 13:27's last two sentences really capture what can be the benefit of tapping a connection: they are not masking deficiencies but helping DC stand out in a crowded applicant pool. These ADs have a tough job as they see so many great kids. Connections are not conning the system, but making the best of an always harried process. |
Anonymous
| PP: Can you offer any insight into the quality of connection you used at your top choice? We are weighing whether to use an insider connection at our top choice school for next year who knows my parents/siblings but not my child who is applying. This contact told us to let them know when we decided to apply, but I am worried that maybe since contact doesn't know child as well it would backfire. Thoughts? |
Anonymous
In our case, the two primary connections we used (and there were others) that were most influential were highly respected parents. One currently has kids at the school, the other put two kids through the school and maintains relations with the heads of the school. In both cases, neither knew our child initially. One got to know my child over the course of the process. The other never even was introduced. However, it is important to note that this school is evaluating not only the child, but also the families. They want good families, not just parents but also any sibllings. Most of third party references we provided know our child well. So, the other thing you can do to raise your comfort level is to make it a point to have your connection meet your child and even better, get to know them. |
Anonymous
I meant to add this to my previous post. It doesn't matter so much what the position or relation of your contact(s) is to the school. What's more important to focus on is what is their level of influence and will they leverage that on your behalf? And be careful, many people (egos being what they are) will claim they are influential and they really aren't or at the end of the day, won't really leverage it on your behalf. It really comes down to how hard will they go to the hole for you? Those relationships are highly invaluable and need to be cultivated. |
Anonymous
| How do you know the connections helped? |
Anonymous
Because now that we are "in", we have access to people on the inside and who are involved in the process. Although they are very careful to put all of the credit on my child and are above board, it is obvious those relationships helped to get the child to stand out some from the crowd. I realize people may not like to hear this. But this is very much a relationship town. Of course, many many kids get in on application basis alone. |
Anonymous
| We had only 1 'insider' connection at 1 school. They were willing to go to bat for us as long as we could say it was our first choice and our child would attend. I couldn't say that, so we didn't use the connection and our child was w/l. That was fine, since it wasn't a great fit for dc. We had parents at 2 other schools write letters for us - both were very active in their respective schools. We got w/l at one and in at the other. |
Anonymous
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PP, I had people offer at multiple schools but only used one on the theory that it was my first choice and I did not want to embarass the other choicec if I was accepted and did not go. Because all the offers were work through my work, I felt that if accepted to one of the schools that was not our first choice, I would have been torn out of a sense of obligation. At the end of the day, we were w/l at the first choice school.
I think connections should be used and agree that they can help you stand out amongst of otherwise qualified candidates. After all, at 3 and 4, it is as much about the parents as it is about the kids, assuming equal scores, good recs and a good playdate. |
Anonymous
| Connections are very important and yes, we used them. Our child was a borderline admit due to good but not great test scores. We knew a very prominent board member at one school and a president of the alumni association at another...both worked for us. |
Anonymous
| We chose not to use a connection at our second choice school (Sidwell) and it was a mistake because child was WL at first choice. Based on what I know of a couple of other kids who got in this year the connection would have made a difference. But I didn't want to use a connection if it wasn't a first choice. |
Anonymous
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Connections are fine to use as long as you promise that person that you will attend their school and that they won't lose face or credibility. That person should also know you or your child very well. A connection really is a way for your child to stand out slightly more - essentially to be the little nudge that gets your child in. Expecting anything more is not realistic.
And please don't go to someone you haven't been in touch with for awhile simply because they have that connection. It is insulting and they will know why you have suddenly chosen to contact them. |
Anonymous
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Am I the only one who doesn't believe this 'connections got us in' nonsense? I mean, I get what leveraging contacts is, having worked in politics for 20 years. I'm not naive, but I still don't -quite- believe that having a board member say something nice about you will just ....do the trick. You know, launch you ahead of 400 other people just because a well-known parent says she likes your family.
EsPEcially in the later entry years. |