Older Sibling won't play with little one

[Anonymous]

My two daughters are about 3 years apart (8 and 5 yrs) and for years have played so nicely together, but lately the oldest just refuses to play with her little sister. I get that this is normal (and its OK) but its heartbreaking...little sister is super sad, keeps asking and getting shot down, and I feel like I am never quite sure what to do. I don't want to force anyone to play but I also think there has to be some expectation of manners. Someone with older kids, help me out here.

[Anonymous]

It's a phase. It might be for a year, or it might be for five years. You have to let the 8 year old be.

If you want an expectation of manners, tell the 8 yr old to reject her sister nicely. She can't say, "Ew, get away from me, you big baby!" but she can say, "No, I don't want to play but thanks for the offer."

[Anonymous]

Talk to your older daughter like an adult when you’re alone with her and ask her to please play with little one for a specified time like babysitting. Reward her and praise her for it.

DS, 7.5, has become very sweet with his little sister when I said it was babysitting. He just plays with her on his own now too.

[Anonymous]

Spend time together as a family. Try board games. Normalize the interaction for her.