Nosy Co-workers

[Anonymous]

Dear Nosy Co-workers-

Co-worker #1- It was my first day. I should not know that your husband cheated on you, that you're seeing a new guy, that he's a graphic artist, where you're planning to take summer vacation, why you got rid of your pet parakeets, about your grandma's flower garden, why you flunked out of college, and your three-year-old nephew's favorite television shows.

Co-worker #2- Do not ask me who I live with, how old I am, what my husband does, where I live, and where I'm from in a five minute time span. Thank you.

Co-worker #3- It's really inappropriate that you asked me such highly personal questions, then went on to tell me EVERYONE ELSE'S highly personal business. I did not want to know. I did not need to know.

Sincerely,
I Just Came Here To Work

---------------------------------

They asked me all of the above and much, much more. Really, it's not that I'm anti-social. I'm a friendly person. But why would you ask someone every single freaking detail of their life the FIRST day you meet them?

Do you have nosy co-workers, DCUM? Are YOU that insufferably nosy co-worker?

[Anonymous]

I hope you are already looking for a new job because you obviously will not fit in at this one.

[Anonymous]

I am sometimes floored by some of the things strangers/acquaintences ask me. Did anyone teach these people manners and boundaries? Even more shocking is what people reveal about their lives when you barely know them.

[Anonymous]

When I was fresh out of college at my first 'real' job within 1 week my mentee (only a few years older) relayed to me that she got pregnant the very first time she had sex and had an abortion. I think my jaw just about hit the floor. Why was she telling me this?

The next week i came into work and a bunch of co-workers were singing to me "someone has a crush on you, someone has a crush on you". I was like wtf?--but I played along naming every potential single guy in the office...and then there was dead silence and giggling...and one guy said "we didn't say it was a guy". Turns out it was a much older woman.

That was truly an eye-opening first job experience. It was a professional job too, btw!!!

[Anonymous]

Maybe they instinctively trust you and you put them at ease. You should work in HR or in therapy since people easily open up to you. At least they are not snobs and ignore you.

[Anonymous]

I can see both sides. OP, is it a big office?

I've worked with people who want to know ALL about you and volunteer very little of their own - in such cases, had something to hide. But really, I agree that they should not be dumping their issues on you at work - especially the first day!

Gossip is usually a sign to stay away from the gossiper.

Consider it a blessing that you found out right away. Now you can go about your work knowing what kind of unprofessionals you are dealing with. Very carefully. Don't tell them anything you would not want the world to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I can see both sides. OP, is it a big office?

It's a small office, and I don't mind getting to know one another, but they were supposed to be training me, not talking about how hard they clubbed last night.

[Anonymous]

OMG! You probably work with my rude co-workers. I feel your pain. I've had all sorts of strange questions thrown at me. The most recent was when I told someone we are expecting a girl this summer, she said - oh...how does your husband feel about that???
As if to say he's disappointed that we are having a girl and not a boy. People are rude every where, but it's worse when you are at work stuck with them the core hours of your day.

[Anonymous]

Well, look at it this way - at least you know who the gossips and chatty-cathys are right away, so you know who NOT to share personal information with. Keep em happy by occasionally feeding them really unimportant personal information, and have excuses ready for when they corner you to share the latest.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, I've worked with people like that! It doesn't matter if you don't play their game...if they don't have actual facts about you to gossip with, they'll make them up. I've had this happen!! Unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they instinctively trust you and you put them at ease. You should work in HR or in therapy since people easily open up to you. At least they are not snobs and ignore you.

I'm the 2nd poster, but I think this poster is on to something. People/strangers/co-workers always tell me the most intimate (and often strangest things). Maybe a therapist was the calling I missed.

[Anonymous]

I would get over it. Im always amazed at how hard people find it to set boundaries theyre comfortable with.