Ghost Kingdom/ This is us episode

[Anonymous]

On This is Us this week Randall talks about something called a Ghost Kingdom where adoptees will create a fantasy life where they think about the life they would have had with their bio parents. I’ve never heard this before, we do attend a transracial support group too. DD is 8 and I’m wondering whether to bring it up with her, Randall said he felt guilt about it and conflicted. If DD does it I want her to know it’s ok. Bit at the same time I don’t want to project this on to her if she’s not thinking about her bio parents. She us happy and well
Adjusted and doesn’t seem to have any emotional issues right now with being adopted with white parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On This is Us this week Randall talks about something called a Ghost Kingdom where adoptees will create a fantasy life where they think about the life they would have had with their bio parents. I’ve never heard this before, we do attend a transracial support group too. DD is 8 and I’m wondering whether to bring it up with her, Randall said he felt guilt about it and conflicted. If DD does it I want her to know it’s ok. Bit at the same time I don’t want to project this on to her if she’s not thinking about her bio parents. She us happy and well
Adjusted and doesn’t seem to have any emotional issues right now with being adopted with white parents.

I wouldn't bring it up directly. I'm not adopted, and maybe I'm a weirdo, but I'd say I had a very active imagination and would imagine all sorts different life scenarios. I've done it as an adult. I think it's natural to imagine "what if" and while I get why an adopted child would feel guilty about imagining life with their bio parents I don't think it's unusual to use your imagination to create alternate life paths.

[Anonymous]

I would bring it up. My 7 year old does this and we have spoken about it. I've heard from other adult adoptees best to have discussions

[Anonymous]

I would suggest doing research on it. Look up Betty Jean Lifton, listen and learn from adoptees (especially adult adoptees and/or transracial adoptees). The Ghost Kingdom is always with adoptees, whether they are "well-adjusted" or not. Please understand their trauma and loss will always present.

[Anonymous]

The show is really fake and a stretch. I wouldn't take your adoption knowledge from it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On This is Us this week Randall talks about something called a Ghost Kingdom where adoptees will create a fantasy life where they think about the life they would have had with their bio parents. I’ve never heard this before, we do attend a transracial support group too. DD is 8 and I’m wondering whether to bring it up with her, Randall said he felt guilt about it and conflicted. If DD does it I want her to know it’s ok. Bit at the same time I don’t want to project this on to her if she’s not thinking about her bio parents. She us happy and well
Adjusted and doesn’t seem to have any emotional issues right now with being adopted with white parents.

She’s 8. She may feel differently at 8 or 18 or 38 or 58. Even if you are the best parents ever. Hopefully you make sure that she has opportunities to interact with people from her own racial group. Not just other transracial adoptees*, but intact families.

I say this because DD’s friend is Chinese raised by UMC Jewish Americans and her parents had her in a monthly group of other girls in the exact same family structure. She was 18 and in college before she realized that she knew next to nothing about being Chinese American.