Does PPD include not wanting to be left alone with the baby?

[Anonymous]

Does PPD include NOT wanting to be left alone with the baby and wanting DH home with you? I work full-time and on most days, like getting up, dressed and heading to the office to get work done, go to meetings, be on conference calls, and chat with people throughout the day. I have been feeling very isolated and do NOT want DH to go back to work. I like it when he is home and am scared of him going back to work. I don't have the energy right now to pop out of the house for a thousand errands (lots of stitches, trying to get the hang of breastfeeding), but am terrified of my hubby going back to work! I can't tell whether this is PPD or that I'm just scared of the responsibility being all on me - what if she gets hurt? What if I fall asleep while holding her and she gets hurt? I am guessing this isn't normal...

[Anonymous]

How many weeks past delivery are you? Those first few weeks are so overwhelming, I think anxiety and fear of being alone are pretty normal. It could be typical "baby blues" or it could develop in to something more. The key is to be aware of what you are feeling, seek out other people (visits from friends were key to my sanity in the early weeks) and do not be afraid to get help if you feel like the anxiety is unmanageable. If you feel this way you can contact your OB, they are usually knowledgeable about PPD and can refer you to someone. Take care OP, and go easy on yourself.

[Anonymous]

I am still pregnant, so I don't really have any advice but OP just wanted to send you warm thoughts and hugs. I think the PP's advice is good too. Just wanted to say that you're a champ and I'm sure you're not alone in how you are feeling. I hope you feel better soon!

[Anonymous]

I think it's incredibly common to feel stressed out or worried about being alone with the baby, at least at the very beginning.

That said, here's what the experts say.

From womensheath.gov:

What is the difference between “baby blues,” postpartum depression, and postpartum psychosis?

Many women have the baby blues in the days after childbirth. If you have the baby blues, you may:

* Have mood swings
* Feel sad, anxious, or overwhelmed
* Have crying spells
* Lose your appetite
* Have trouble sleeping

The baby blues most often go away within a few days or a week. The symptoms are not severe and do not need treatment.

The symptoms of postpartum depression last longer and are more severe. Postpartum depression can begin anytime within the first year after childbirth. If you have postpartum depression, you may have any of the symptoms of depression listed above. Symptoms may also include:

* Thoughts of hurting the baby
* Thoughts of hurting yourself
* Not having any interest in the baby

Postpartum depression needs to be treated by a doctor.

(http://www.womenshealth.gov/faq/depression-pregnancy.cfm#c)

[Anonymous]

This is OP. I'm 2 weeks postpartum. Thank you for the responses. I will give it another week and if these feelings keep up, will definitely follow-up with my OB. I guess I'm more social than I realized and hate being home alone all day and it was so nice having DH home for a week. I will have to get out more when I feel up to it, but wish I wasn't feeling this way. This is supposed to be such a happy time - not one where I'm nervous/anxious to be alone with my baby! I'm jealous of women with lots of children that seem so put together and happy so quickly following delivery... I realize I don't live with these women, but really - I don't seem to have my act together yet. I'm honestly looking forward to going back to work for my normal routine and having baby in daycare. Does that make me the worst Mom ever?

[Anonymous]

OP I had those same feelings...intensely! after DD 1 was born. I had an overwhelming fear something bad would happen to us if DH wasn't with us. It was most intense for me about 2-3 weeks after delivery, but stuck around in some degree for about 6-8 weeks. You are NOT a bad mom, you have just taken on a hugely challenging new job...and it is hard. of course you feel overwhelmed!!

I agree that if you just feel like it's too mcuh go to the doc...but hang in there!! you are going to get the hang of things and it will get better. also, don't know how much trouble bfing you are having but go see pat shelley at the bf center on K st if it is serious...that doesn't have to be so hard!!

good luck .

[Anonymous]

OP, you might also see if your hospital offers a weekly support group for new moms. I went to a group held at Inova Alexandria and it was a huge relief to be in a room with people going through the same stuff I was as a new mom. At 2 wks PP you should also be able to take some walks around the neighborhood. Getting out of the house and getting some sun and fresh air might help lift your mood.

[Anonymous]

I'm still pregnant but I know I'm at risk for PPD (I've been treating depression for years) and I just wanted to lend my support to you during this time. Please, please, PLEASE don't "should" on yourself!

Anonymous wrote:This is supposed to be such a happy time - not one where I'm nervous/anxious to be alone with my baby! I'm jealous of women with lots of children that seem so put together and happy so quickly following delivery... I realize I don't live with these women, but really - I don't seem to have my act together yet. I'm honestly looking forward to going back to work for my normal routine and having baby in daycare. Does that make me the worst Mom ever?

You are SO not alone - this is SO common among new moms, whether or not it's PPD or just part of the adjustment process. I definitely encourage you to check out a support group for new moms - this website has a lot of good resources: http://www.postpartumva.org/wheretogethelp.html

Luckily the weather is getting nice so taking a walk around the neighborhood is a great idea!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I'm 2 weeks postpartum. Thank you for the responses. I will give it another week and if these feelings keep up, will definitely follow-up with my OB. I guess I'm more social than I realized and hate being home alone all day and it was so nice having DH home for a week. I will have to get out more when I feel up to it, but wish I wasn't feeling this way. This is supposed to be such a happy time - not one where I'm nervous/anxious to be alone with my baby! I'm jealous of women with lots of children that seem so put together and happy so quickly following delivery... I realize I don't live with these women, but really - I don't seem to have my act together yet. I'm honestly looking forward to going back to work for my normal routine and having baby in daycare. Does that make me the worst Mom ever?

I'm a new mom and have 3 other close friends that also just had babies. Trust me -- ALL of us were nervous, scared, had doubts about our skills, etc. And TIRED. Newborns are hard and it's ok to feel overwhelmed or exhausted or scared. I definitely recommend the new moms group. Knowing that my friends were going through the same thing made me feel better about my own self-doubts.

[Anonymous]

Not wanting to spend time confined to your house sounds pretty normal to me, new baby or not. If you suspect ppd, you should definitely get help sooner than later, but if you are inclined to think things might not be that severe, My recommendation is to work on doing what you need to do in order to get out of the house.

And good luck!

[Anonymous]

You are definitely not alone. I remember the second day that my husband went back to work, lying on the bathroom floor crying as he got ready--he went back at two weeks also. That first day had been a doozy. So many emotions, and so many hormones. My wonderful wonderful 1 year old daughter was a very challenging baby, who lneeded to be held constantly, did not sleep well, and developed a full blown case of colic. And, I was totally envious of the new moms to whom this seemed like second nature--it was definitely a big adjustment for me. I had to constantly remind myself that a. everyone, and every baby is different, and I was doing my best, and b. even the new moms who act like it is no big deal to have a baby are sometimes putting on a game face--it is really a life changer for everyone.

So I made a point to get out of the house every day--to target, to babies r us, to the mall, to the coffee shop, walk around the neighborhood, to meet someone for lunch--I know that is hard for you now, but don't be afraid to try it once you start physically feeling better. And, if I had it to do all over again, I might have hired a mother's helper or babysitter to come in for a couple of hours a week and give me a break. I also hit the mom's group at the hospital a couple of times, but never really got into it. I did enjoy taking mommy and me yoga and pilates in my neighborhood.

It is hard work, and you will start to gain your confidence in yourself as things go along. And then you will start daycare, and have new challenges/routines to get used to!

[Anonymous]

I agree that the anxiety of being without DH is not abnormal nor does it necessarily mean PPD is involved. That said, please keep an eye on your emotions and let him know how you're feeling in case you do need to be evaluated for it in the next coming weeks. I think the PP's have given lots of good advice. The first few weeks at home are a time of raging hormones, a new person to care for, and sometimes little remainders of your life before baby. It's HARD. Get baby outside for a walk ( it's gorgeous today! ), go to the grocery store. I agree, one trip out a day will be something to look forward to. go to Starbucks with baby and enjoy a decaf coffee Watch hours of the food network and plan trips to the grocery store around that perfect meal ( that DH will make you )... Good luck. It's not easy, but you're going to find that you can do it. In the next few weeks, it will get easier.

[Anonymous]

You may want to look into hiring a post-partum doula as well.

[Anonymous]

OP, one of the funny little quirks of having a baby is that you will fall in love with him or her over and over again. Right now, most newborns are amorphous lumps. That baby is your lump, so you love him or her, but you aren't quite getting the kind of gratifying interaction most people imagine before they have babies. That can make things feel very lonely. Know that this is a brief period of time. In a few months, that baby will be very actively responding to you and making you feel like all the effort is worth is. Right now, your hormones are all over, you hurt (wish I'd realize how sore I would be post-delivery), you are trying to learn breastfeeding, and your by-your-side support is going back to work. And did I mention exhaustion?? Your feelings sound pretty normal for this point post partum, but if you are still concerned in a few days, as other posters have suggested, do check in with your OB.

And maybe talk to some friends who have babies a few months older. I found it incredibly helpful to have people who had recently been there, done that cheering me on.

Hang in there -parenthood is a huge adjustment -but it is also a fantastic adventure!

[Anonymous]

I had the exact same feelings. I hated being at home alone with the baby. I dont like being at home and being at home with a baby is exhausting. I dont have advice except try to make a plan a day to get out and see someone or go somewhere and before you know you will be back at work (if that's your plan) and things will feel more balanced. I felt so guilty for not loving my maternity leave--but i just didn't. I love my baby though.