Older kids sort of picking on my son

[Anonymous]

My son is about 7-14 months younger than his school friends. A combo of fall birthdays and some being held back. He’s a sweet, outgoing kid but I notice his peers being a little mean to him. These are friends in his group he plays with but when 3-4 are together I notice they one or two will talk down to him, exclude him subtly, etc.. It seems like he’s getting picked on a little bit

Is this an age thing?

He does amazing with kids who are spring/summer and close to his birthday but most won’t be in his grade and will be held back and he is well liked and a fun kid. Is this why people hold back bc of the social issues? Is this going to be an ongoing thing?

[Anonymous]

Just teach your son how to stand up for himself. "hey can I play?" goes a LONG way.

[Anonymous]

Kids that age don’t really understand proper socializing yet. When they’re playing with other kids; they’re not necessarily thinking “oh I should invite billy to come play with us so he doesn’t feel left out.” Some kids are empathetic enough to do that, but most aren’t—they’re focused on themselves and their immediate needs. So try not to take it personally. And I’ve seen younger kids be the leaders over the older kids—it’s not always age, but personality (and at that age, communication skills) that lend to them being included.

The adults around them should help them learn those skills. So if they are running off to play rocketship, coach your son to say “I’m here to play rocketship with you!” And remind him to include others when he IS in a game.

Again, try not to take it personally, they are really so young and have so much to learn about the world.

-preschool teacher

[Anonymous]

Can you give an example? Can you tell us what age these kids are? Preschoolers (where you have posted) are not known for their empathy and social skills and it is difficult to tell what is happening here, whether these kids are intentionally mean to your child or just displaying a lack of manners.

Also, most important question: Is your child bothered by this behavior? Or is this just your observation and taking something to heart that he hasn't even noticed?

You may want to consider a social skills group for your child if this pattern continues beyond preschool

[Anonymous]

Op no advice but just wanted to commiserate. My son is 6 and I can already see that he is likely to be picked on. He is sweet, but a little neurotic and seems to lack the skills needed to fit in with other kids. His little brother is the opposite so it can be quite striking.

I never never thought about the late birthday being an issue..

He is currently in immersion school which already puts him at a bit of a disadvantage for fitting in with the mostly hispanic kids. I really like the school, community and added language but am thinking he really needs to go somewhere where he has as many chances to fit in as possible.

[Anonymous]

How old is he?

[Anonymous]

This is why people red shirt, especially boys

[Anonymous]

how old is he? People are assuming he's a preschooler but if he's in 3rd grade my answer will be different!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:how old is he? People are assuming he's a preschooler but if he's in 3rd grade my answer will be different!

The OP posted in the infants, toddlers, and preschoolers forum, so a reasonable assumption.